Tim,

a few things...

1. We just got a kitten. Want to see a picture of him? His name is Wally.

2. I had a venus flytrap that was working out really well inside. But then I switched it to potting soil and moved it outside and it's not looking so hot. Any suggestions?

3

Hey,

I was in Paris this weekend, so I didn't answer any of these questions.

Paris, she is fucking beautiful.

Hello. I have a couple of questions. My father died when I was a really young and as a lessor consequence of that I don't think that I've ever learned to shave my face properly. Is it with the grain? Against the grain?

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy isn't something I watch anymore, but I did watch it a lot the first few seasons. I'm assuming it's still on TV.

The conceit of the show is mostly correct: gay men do tend to know more about how to fucking take care of themselves than straight men.

The two best examples I can think of, from this show are:

1. Put any hair product in your hair starting in the back, then to the sides, and only then on top. The shellacked-bangs look is therefore avoided.

2. Shave your face with the grain. Shaving against the grain gives you a closer shave, but it also induces razor burn and ingrown hairs.

After nearly 20 years of shaving I still don't think I do it well. I use one of those multi-blade razors now, what do you recommend? Are any of the electric razors worth the cost?

I think multi-blade razors are stupid. I don't blame you for using them.

It's a little like drinking Diet Coke. I used to drink it every day, and I still have one on occasion. Diet Coke is terrible. It's bad for you, there's nothing good about drinking it, it tastes like shit. And yet the advertising and ubiquity of it induced me to drink it. Same basic effect with shaving and multi-blade razors.

Electric razors are lame. I had a couple at different times, and they produced very disappointing shaves. PLUS! One of the effects of a blade shave is that it takes off the dead skin on your face in addition to the hairs, leaving your face smoother and better looking. Electric shavers don't do this well AT ALL.

Bob, do yourself a favor.

Go to Truefitt and Hill, in the 900 N Michigan building. Get a Merkur Futur razor. It will set you back $80 or so. You can probably get them online someplace, alternatively.

Get a pack of blades for the thing.

Anything beardlike, set it at 2.5 or 3. Otherwise, try closer than that (1.5 or 2, maybe). This will makes sense when you get the razor.

Set it close to start, I guess. You'll nick yourself on occasion until you get the hang of it.

If you go to Truefitt, ask the counter guy about how to best use it. They will probably love to tell you.

Anyway, do that, and you're done with having to think about how to deal with the shave. It's a great razor, and, unless you plan on dying or undergoing electrolysis or estrogen treatments, it makes sense as an investment.

Also, my CFP advises being a little more aggressive with my portfolio. I'm dumping all my bonds and moving everything into an equities blend. It seems fairly aggressive, but I'm not going to officially retire for sometime. What do you think? I currently have a 70/30 equity/bond split.

I would be more aggressive than 70/30. I tried to game my 401k for a bit, but it was stupid. The stock market is dumb, and the 401k is too slow to make any kind of meaningful 'market play' or whatever.

I'd go 80/20 minimum. I think I'm 90/10. The more the market tanks, the cheaper the shares are for me to buy. I'm not needing it for 20yrs anyway.

I cut down your block today to advoid some traffic. Your flowers look nice. Are those tulips?

They do look nice. I am told they are tulips.

o Hai T-Midget! What is teh differense btw/ a pick pocket and a peeping tom??!?

A peeping tom keeps his hand in his own pocket.

How are you planning to sell the records you have in your "sell" pile?

Reckless on Broadway.

Also: about 4 times a month I need to wear "business casual" trousers. I've settled into a few pair of flat-front Dockers (dark gray (x2) and khaki), as they are inexpensive, comfortable, and easy to care for. Is there a better option, or need I not bother?

Well, I'm not a Dockers fan--they're not cut in a way I like and the cloth is a bit thick for me. But you are right that they are comfortable and easy to care for.

A man's choice of pant is extremely personal.

Flat-front and not too short are the most important things. Sure, there are better options, but they'll all cost more money. I wouldn't bother unless you want to go down the rabbit hole of men's fashion. Me, I have done this, but I have no position on whether or not anyone else should do it.

Question for Tim M.: Do you believe that you could defeat Mike Tyson in a five set tennis match?

Yes, I believe I could. I am no kind of tennis player, but I think Mike Tyson would be very easily distracted by, say, the movement of the ball and so forth.

hello mr. midgett.

i feel awkard addressing you by your first name.

OK. That is fine.

i have a couple of questions for you...

firstly, and most importantly, do dogs have nightmares? my girlfriend and i are in a debate as i type this. i think they do.

Sure. I think so.

what is worse....a bad rod stewart song (post the faces) or a bad neil young song?

Mmmmmmmmm. I'm going to go with bad Neil Young. Just harder on the ears and more depressing. Rod always has his voice to fall back on.

what is better....a bad robert pollard song or a bad r.e.m. song?

Bad R. Pollard is better. I've never heard a bad Bob Pollard song that made me want to punch him in the face.

have you given up on "winterwind" entirely?...

No, but it's much different now.

when can we expect the next midgett ep/lp?

Never. Bottomless Pit is the vehicle.

( "as long..." is one of the best songs i have ever heard. that is not a question.)

Thank you very much.

the strings for your tv yellow egc baritone: what are they? and isn't that instrument a 32" scale? is it hard to find the higher strings for a scale that long?

The bottom four are GHS Bass Boomers heavy gauge.

I can't remember what kind I put on the top two strings. Whatever was around and close to the right gauge....They might have been strings from an old baritone set (D'Addario makes a bari set for Bass VI that starts at 80, I think). Anyway, they weren't overly long, but they worked.

I used to change strings all the time. Now I never do. I play them until they break or we have a show coming up.

Normally when I am at a bar I will order a double-whiskey-neat and stick with that drink for the evening. Occasionally a friend will offer to buy me a drink, to which I normally respond "double-whiskey-neat." Do you think this is a dick move? I mean, it is what I normally order myself, but I'm starting to think I should show a bit more restraint and/or class and go for the beer or shot.

I think this order is totally w/in reason. It's not like you're specifying "double whisky neat, Pappy Van Winkle 20yr" or anything.

1. We just got a kitten. Want to see a picture of him? His name is Wally.

Sure, let's see him.

2. I had a venus flytrap that was working out really well inside. But then I switched it to potting soil and moved it outside and it's not looking so hot. Any suggestions?

Really, I know nothing about plants. I know the Venus Flytrap by sight, but that's all I can say about it. Very sorry.

tmidgett wrote:

Also: about 4 times a month I need to wear "business casual" trousers. I've settled into a few pair of flat-front Dockers (dark gray (x2) and khaki), as they are inexpensive, comfortable, and easy to care for. Is there a better option, or need I not bother?

Well, I'm not a Dockers fan--they're not cut in a way I like and the cloth is a bit thick for me. But you are right that they are comfortable and easy to care for.

A man's choice of pant is extremely personal.

Flat-front and not too short are the most important things. Sure, there are better options, but they'll all cost more money. I wouldn't bother unless you want to go down the rabbit hole of men's fashion. Me, I have done this, but I have no position on whether or not anyone else should do it.

Oh Hai I am not Tim but I have suggestion for this one.

Target sells a flat front trouser made by their "Cherokee" brand and are usually around $20 a pair. I don't know if that's cheaper than Dockers or Dickies nowadays but the material isn't stiff as a board like brand new Dickies are while the cut is almost identical. They come in three shades of brown, black and navy blue with more colors on the way I am sure.

What's great about them is how versatile they are - I can wear them with my White Sox cap, a tee shirt and slip on Vans or a fedora, a sport coat and loafers depending on whether I am skateboarding through Wicker Park or enjoying an evening of poker with Tim Midgett.

Now to make this post a proper question for Tim -

Tim you don't mind that I fielded this flat front trouser question do you?

tmidgett,
Can you help me get a question to Jon Wurster? I don't know if you know him but i thought perhaps since BP was going to be opening for the mountain goats and he was going to be drumming that maybe you have contact info or something to that effect. I'm trying to get his permission to use a line of his from his tour diaries for a t-shirt. Any and all help is appreciated.
Kyle

OK.....I got one.

Would you shave your chops for a job interview that you were attending more for the curiosity factor alone?

As in, you're probably not going to get the job anyway but you wanna see what it is exactly that they want in hopes that you'll be more prepared for a similar one?

I'd hate to shave a perfectly good pair of chops for nothing, ya know?

(It's a web dev job involving PHP/MySql, by the way).

For the record, said chops are neatly trimmed, make men take notice and make women warm below the belt. (My attire for the interview will be just as thrilling, I assure you).

So, yeah.....shave 'em or leave 'em?

tmidgett wrote:

After nearly 20 years of shaving I still don't think I do it well. I use one of those multi-blade razors now, what do you recommend? Are any of the electric razors worth the cost?

I think multi-blade razors are stupid. I don't blame you for using them.

It's a little like drinking Diet Coke. I used to drink it every day, and I still have one on occasion. Diet Coke is terrible. It's bad for you, there's nothing good about drinking it, it tastes like shit. And yet the advertising and ubiquity of it induced me to drink it. Same basic effect with shaving and multi-blade razors.

Electric razors are lame. I had a couple at different times, and they produced very disappointing shaves. PLUS! One of the effects of a blade shave is that it takes off the dead skin on your face in addition to the hairs, leaving your face smoother and better looking. Electric shavers don't do this well AT ALL.

Bob, do yourself a favor.

Go to Truefitt and Hill, in the 900 N Michigan building. Get a Merkur Futur razor. It will set you back $80 or so. You can probably get them online someplace, alternatively.

Get a pack of blades for the thing.

Anything beardlike, set it at 2.5 or 3. Otherwise, try closer than that (1.5 or 2, maybe). This will makes sense when you get the razor.

Set it close to start, I guess. You'll nick yourself on occasion until you get the hang of it.

If you go to Truefitt, ask the counter guy about how to best use it. They will probably love to tell you.

Anyway, do that, and you're done with having to think about how to deal with the shave. It's a great razor, and, unless you plan on dying or undergoing electrolysis or estrogen treatments, it makes sense as an investment.

Don't mind if I piggyback here only to say that I swear by my Merkur, although it is a more basic one. I like the 'handfeel' especially. A good recommendation.

Q: Are you liking the Farmer/Stone radio team?

Hey Tim,

I saw Nina Nastasia play a mind-blowing rendition of "That's All There Is" last night in Seattle. Thought you'd like to know.

Also, my wife-to-be and I are looking at moving to Seattle in the next year or so. We like the Greenlake and Ballard neighborhoods. I know Capitol Hill and Belltown alright, but have no desire to live there. Any other neighborhoods you'd recommend based on your prior experience of living in Seattle?

tmidgett wrote:Hey,

I was in Paris this weekend, so I didn't answer any of these questions.

Paris, she is fucking beautiful.

Hello. I have a couple of questions. My father died when I was a really young and as a lessor consequence of that I don't think that I've ever learned to shave my face properly. Is it with the grain? Against the grain?

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy isn't something I watch anymore, but I did watch it a lot the first few seasons. I'm assuming it's still on TV.

The conceit of the show is mostly correct: gay men do tend to know more about how to fucking take care of themselves than straight men.

The two best examples I can think of, from this show are:

1. Put any hair product in your hair starting in the back, then to the sides, and only then on top. The shellacked-bangs look is therefore avoided.

2. Shave your face with the grain. Shaving against the grain gives you a closer shave, but it also induces razor burn and ingrown hairs.

After nearly 20 years of shaving I still don't think I do it well. I use one of those multi-blade razors now, what do you recommend? Are any of the electric razors worth the cost?

I think multi-blade razors are stupid. I don't blame you for using them.

It's a little like drinking Diet Coke. I used to drink it every day, and I still have one on occasion. Diet Coke is terrible. It's bad for you, there's nothing good about drinking it, it tastes like shit. And yet the advertising and ubiquity of it induced me to drink it. Same basic effect with shaving and multi-blade razors.

Electric razors are lame. I had a couple at different times, and they produced very disappointing shaves. PLUS! One of the effects of a blade shave is that it takes off the dead skin on your face in addition to the hairs, leaving your face smoother and better looking. Electric shavers don't do this well AT ALL.

Bob, do yourself a favor.

Go to Truefitt and Hill, in the 900 N Michigan building. Get a Merkur Futur razor. It will set you back $80 or so. You can probably get them online someplace, alternatively.

Get a pack of blades for the thing.

Anything beardlike, set it at 2.5 or 3. Otherwise, try closer than that (1.5 or 2, maybe). This will makes sense when you get the razor.

Set it close to start, I guess. You'll nick yourself on occasion until you get the hang of it.

If you go to Truefitt, ask the counter guy about how to best use it. They will probably love to tell you.

Anyway, do that, and you're done with having to think about how to deal with the shave. It's a great razor, and, unless you plan on dying or undergoing electrolysis or estrogen treatments, it makes sense as an investment.

Tim,

Thanks for the excellent advice. I found the Merkur razor at the Merz Apothecary. I picked up a badger hair brush and some good quality shave soap to go with it. I just used it for the first time and your description was spot on. No need for an estrogen treatment for this guy now. Thanks.

I was actually considering doing a 90/10 equities/bond split for the exact reasons you mentioned.

Have you considered getting a real job giving advice?

Bob

TM,

Thanks for the good words about the pants.

Let's just say I wanted to go down the rabbit hole of men's fashion. What would such a thing even mean? Where to begin? Is a tailor involved?

Perhaps this kind of discussion requires a new thread. Perhaps it already exists. I'll look around.


Thanks,
Mr. King

Target sells a flat front trouser made by their "Cherokee" brand and are usually around $20 a pair. I don't know if that's cheaper than Dockers or Dickies nowadays but the material isn't stiff as a board like brand new Dickies are while the cut is almost identical. They come in three shades of brown, black and navy blue with more colors on the way I am sure.

[...]

Tim you don't mind that I fielded this flat front trouser question do you?

Not at all, though I feel duty-bound to note that I am not a fan of most of the men's clothing at Target. I will say that it looks pretty good on the rack, shelf, or hanger, esp for the price. But the regular clothes I have bought there have not worn well at all. They shrink up all weird and get lumpy and shit.

It's like Old Navy, the Gap, and Banana Republic are all owned by Gap Inc. And their stock crew t-shirts all look kinda the same. You'd think they'd be basically the same shirt, sold at different prices depending on how much the stores could get away with charging, right?

No. The Old Navy shirts suck compared to the Gap shirts, and the Banana Republic shirts are much nicer and better made than either.

A lot of the Target stuff LOOKS like Ben Sherman or something, but it holds up about half as well in my experience.

The one thing I like at Target for clothes is their gym wear. Like those technical-fabric long-johns and shit. Cheap and totally serviceable.

Can you help me get a question to Jon Wurster? I don't know if you know him but i thought perhaps since BP was going to be opening for the mountain goats and he was going to be drumming that maybe you have contact info or something to that effect. I'm trying to get his permission to use a line of his from his tour diaries for a t-shirt. Any and all help is appreciated.

Sorry, I do not know this gentleman. I am acquainted with John Darnielle, but so far as I know he is the only Goat I know in any capacity.

If we were still playing w/the Goats, I would make Mr. Wurster's acquaintance and ask him for you. However, those shows have been cancelled by the Goats and have no proposed rescheduling as of this moment.

Would you shave your chops for a job interview that you were attending more for the curiosity factor alone?

As in, you're probably not going to get the job anyway but you wanna see what it is exactly that they want in hopes that you'll be more prepared for a similar one?

I'd hate to shave a perfectly good pair of chops for nothing, ya know?

(It's a web dev job involving PHP/MySql, by the way).

For the record, said chops are neatly trimmed, make men take notice and make women warm below the belt. (My attire for the interview will be just as thrilling, I assure you).

So, yeah.....shave 'em or leave 'em?

Leave 'em.

If you really wanted the job, I'd say shave them to be on the safe side, get the job, make yourself indispensable, and then do whatever you want on the facial hair front.

But you don't really want it, so leave 'em. Chances are that chops will not keep you from getting a web dev job anyway.

Don't mind if I piggyback here only to say that I swear by my Merkur, although it is a more basic one. I like the 'handfeel' especially. A good recommendation.

I don't remember where I heard of this razor. It may well have been here.

Yes, they have some substance. If you are going to take a blade to your face, it should have some substance, not be encased in cheap plastic like a child's toy.

Q: Are you liking the Farmer/Stone radio team?

I have not listened to one game on the radio yet.

It has to be pretty good, I would think.

I saw Nina Nastasia play a mind-blowing rendition of "That's All There Is" last night in Seattle. Thought you'd like to know.

I saw her play here a few weeks ago. She was great. She's come into her own as a solo performer. Much more assured.

She played TATI here as well. One of many marvelous songs, but obviously one of my personal favorites.

Also, my wife-to-be and I are looking at moving to Seattle in the next year or so. We like the Greenlake and Ballard neighborhoods. I know Capitol Hill and Belltown alright, but have no desire to live there. Any other neighborhoods you'd recommend based on your prior experience of living in Seattle?

I lived on the back side of Queen Anne (...) for 6mos, Capitol Hill for about 9yrs, and the Rainier Valley for 18mos.

Queen Anne, that side of the hill is all students at PSU, and they're not even low-key United Methodists--they're Free Methodist pains in the ass.

Lower Queen Anne is OK, but not what I would recommend.

Capitol Hill you know. Kinda scummy in parts. I enjoyed living there a great deal as a youth.

I always really liked Georgetown. I have no idea what it is like now, but back when I was there, it was like a little town stuck in the early 70s or something.

Rainier Valley, it was good to own a house, but we also had to deal with little black kid throwing rocks at us due to our whiteness and drug dealing neighbors and the Filipinos and their goddamn chickens.

These chickens, they had only the faintest idea of what 'dawn' might be. 3AM was close enough for those things.

Um, Beacon Hill is all right. The near side, by the old hospital.

But I also like Ballard and Greenlake plenty.

Fremont, too many hippies, though there's a really good record store there (or was).

U District, too many homeless youths and college kids.

I guess I'd suggest Georgetown as a possible darkhorse candidate, but otherwise you'd do OK with Ballard or Greenlake.

Thanks for the good words about the pants.

Sure.

Let's just say I wanted to go down the rabbit hole of men's fashion. What would such a thing even mean? Where to begin? Is a tailor involved?

I think the main thing here would be to build up a wardrobe of basic shit that a guy can use, and see where you are at that point.

The wardrobe of basic shit is different for everyone depending on his tastes and needs. But unless you are going to go totally ballerina or lumberjack or dust-devil or whatever, you will need a couple of suits, a bunch of button-up long-sleeve shirts, good socks that are not white, brown shoes, black shoes, sneakers, light coat, winter coat, maybe a sweater or two, some t-shirts with no band names on them, jeans that fit but don't fit you like a woman, and those pants you were asking about.

Yeah, you have to take some of that stuff to a tailor. The suit will HAVE to be tailored. The pants, maybe maybe not. Shirts, I don't go there, but I think it's probably nice to do it if you have the desire.

Which ones to buy, that's the question. I would generalize and say don't get prints to start, don't get trendy stuff, get things that are timeless designs that fit and have good detail work. But sooner or later you have to get into who made it and what else they might make that you like.

Clothing labels are kind of like record labels--on one hand, they're useless, b/c all that matters are the things they produce. On the other hand, if you can find one that does it for you half the time, then you have something to hold onto as you navigate the sea of shit that doesn't do it for you.

Generally, you'll find a label that does it for you, then you'll discover the slightly better and more expensive version of that, and then you'll discover the slightly better and more expensive version of that.

I have all of these things, and I can tell you what they were/are for me, but everyone is going to find different things that fit him particularly well.

Some guys will tell you this is a pretty gay pastime, and who knows, maybe they're right. But actual men of any orientation don't concern themselves with the insecurities and apprehension of others. And I don't know of anyone on the planet who is not more attracted to people who look good than those who don't, so it's hard to say it's counterproductive to living a good life.

Thanks for the excellent advice. I found the Merkur razor at the Merz Apothecary. I picked up a badger hair brush and some good quality shave soap to go with it. I just used it for the first time and your description was spot on. No need for an estrogen treatment for this guy now. Thanks.

Did you seriously do this, or are you pulling my leg?

That's awesome.

I am strangely pleased.

I was actually considering doing a 90/10 equities/bond split for the exact reasons you mentioned.

Yeah, I mean, who gives a shit if it goes up or down right now? You're just buying shares. As long as your equity portfolio is diverse, you're just making a very broad bet that the economy will not totally collapse. I feel OK about this bet, myself.

Have you considered getting a real job giving advice?

No, but I'm sure I'd take money for it.