The dream I had last night.

I was at Kumas with my parents and my wife and a few other people, the people I was sitting there with kept changing. The room was different but it was Kumas. We were sitting at the bar and it was packed. We finished our burgers and ordered another round of beers. A woman draped in furs and jewelry smoking a cigarette out of a cigarette holder comes over and asks us to get up so she and her husband can sit down and eat. I say 'Sorry, we just ordered more burgers we are gonna be here awhile' she starts loudly bitching and complaining about us sitting there. I started making fun of her, everyone laughed. She was walking away and I threw a burger at the back of her head, everyone laughed again. She went back to the front to wait.

That was the whole dream. Very unusual dream for me, as my dreams tend to be really bizarre and fantastic and this was pretty low key and rooted in reality somewhat. Made me laugh when I woke up nonetheless. The burger hitting her in the back of the head was great.

Ok, weird one last night.
I was in the game Grand Theft Auto, but it wasn't really like Grand Theft Auto. The whole word was like a big cartoon. In my dream I was aware it was a dream and kept making weird things happen because it was a dream and I could. At one point I wanted to get in a hot air balloon and one appeared in front of me, I rode it to some South American country.
I noticed there was a woman giving a speech in a giant packed soccer stadium, she's yelling and screaming and the people are going nuts.
I land the hot air balloon next to her, get out and stab her. I then run away.
Next thing I know I am in a house somewhere that looks like maybe Astoria, Oregon or something. We are at the kitchen table eating breakfast with some trucker dude. I look outside and my black cat, Cracker is a monkey. It's still the cat, but instead of a cat he's a monkey. He is sitting on the hood of the dude's semi with a marker drawing scribbles all over it.
The trucker was upset, I laughed. That was it.

This morning I had a dream I was caring for a baby panda. Somehow we had a baby panda in out apartment and had to feed it with a bottle and whatnot. The cats were running around jumping all over the place excited about the panda. It was an enjoyable dream.
My wife said something about it needing to learn how to walk so I kept throwing apples in front of it and it would crawl towards the apple.

At some point we looked outside and there were reporters and camera people everywhere trying to look in the windows and take pictures.
I said to her 'I'll have to make a statement' and she said 'make them think it ran away'

That's all I remember.

So I took a nap this evening after a long day jamming with the newly reformed BBGS and had a real strange one.
I was at Great America riding roller coasters with Kim Gordon. We were in line for the eagle just talking when some sort of animal ran onto the tracks and got run over right in front of us. Like a racoon or something. Just sliced right in half.
She said 'that's a real shame' and I started yelling to the operator to stop the ride and remove the carcass. He came over and explained that he wishes he could but they never showed him how to stop the ride. He also explained that after being run over a few more times it would probably be sliced up enough and just fall through the slits in the track onto the street below.
She said to me 'they don't pay these people anything, he doesn't care'
I asked her if she wanted to get out of line and she said no, she still wanted to ride the eagle. She said 'Don't cause waves' in a really bitchy way, which I thought was strange.
At that moment I got really bummed out because I realized Kim Gordon wasn't very cool after all and I was stuck with her at Great America all day.
That's all I really remember, we went on the ride and it went really slow. I was bummed about that too, I remember.

I had this dream on Friday night in Louisville. After a torrid rehearsal and a late-night showing of "The Dark Knight" I bedded down on the couch in my drummer's TV room . . .

I am George Jones, and I am driving a beat-to-shit sky blue Cadillac. I no longer drink, but my longstanding drunkard's rep means that cops pull me over constantly. In this dream, I am urgently trying to get somewhere in a bustling city, but at seemingly every intersection I am pulled over. I should add that at no point in the dream did it occur to me that I--Brett Eugene Ralph--was dreaming I was someone else. This was George Jones' dream.

I was becoming increasingly frustrated by the police harassment. The fourth cop who pulled me over clearly had it in for me. I was "yessir" and "no-sir"-ing him to death, but he just became more and more agitated. Finally, he made me get out of the car and walk around behind it.

I don't recall him giving me any sobriety tests, but he was really drilling me with questions and contesting my responses, just begging me to get mad or impatient or give him any reason whatsoever to lock me up. At one point, during a lengthy tirade, I leaned on the trunk of the car with my left hand.

As the cop continued reading me the riot act, I got a creepy feeling. I was horrified to find a gigantic wolf spider crawling on the back of my hand. I just knew that if I jerked and flicked it off, the cop would snap and shoot me--or at least think I was tweaking and take me to jail. So I just stood there stonily, nodding in acquiescence as the spider crept up my arm.

I awoke feeling like something had crawled all over me. When I related this dream to a group of friends the next night, Bob asked if I thought that maybe George Jones had dreamt that he was me on Friday night. "Hell," I replied, "I always assume everybody's dreaming that they're me."

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:I had this dream on Friday night in Louisville. After a torrid rehearsal and a late-night showing of "The Dark Knight" I bedded down on the couch in my drummer's TV room . . .

I am George Jones, and I am driving a beat-to-shit sky blue Cadillac. I no longer drink, but my longstanding drunkard's rep means that cops pull me over constantly. In this dream, I am urgently trying to get somewhere in a bustling city, but at seemingly every intersection I am pulled over. I should add that at no point in the dream did it occur to me that I--Brett Eugene Ralph--was dreaming I was someone else. This was George Jones' dream.

I was becoming increasingly frustrated by the police harassment. The fourth cop who pulled me over clearly had it in for me. I was "yessir" and "no-sir"-ing him to death, but he just became more and more agitated. Finally, he made me get out of the car and walk around behind it.

I don't recall him giving me any sobriety tests, but he was really drilling me with questions and contesting my responses, just begging me to get mad or impatient or give him any reason whatsoever to lock me up. At one point, during a lengthy tirade, I leaned on the trunk of the car with my left hand.

As the cop continued reading me the riot act, I got a creepy feeling. I was horrified to find a gigantic wolf spider crawling on the back of my hand. I just knew that if I jerked and flicked it off, the cop would snap and shoot me--or at least think I was tweaking and take me to jail. So I just stood there stonily, nodding in acquiescence as the spider crept up my arm.

I awoke feeling like something had crawled all over me. When I related this dream to a group of friends the next night, Bob asked if I thought that maybe George Jones had dreamt that he was me on Friday night. "Hell," I replied, "I always assume everybody's dreaming that they're me."

Short stories have been made out of less than this. This has the makings of a good one. Please write it!

Unless you need another dream to complete it, which may take a while...