I would launch into a very lengthy explanation of how I am neither a fluid nor a solid being drawn into an interior space to adhere to a surface because of the difference between the external and internal pressures.

I would then proceed to inform said audience member(s) that true sucking is not realized without the aid of a perfect vacuum environment, so perhaps we don't suck all that much after all.

Then I would probably throw metal skull rings at the offending party before continuing on.*

*note: through some magical fluke, I wound up with about +1,000 metal skull rings at some point. They're fun to throw at people.

steve wrote:

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:I know a guy who's fond of answering all insults with this rejoinder: "I've got a knife in my pocket that says you won't come up here and say that."

Sounds like Rat.

Yep.

Hey, Uncle Brett, who's Rat?

its a shit shit heckle so probably shouldn't be answered. inviting him up on stage to explain himself and then kicking him in the throat as he climbs up will probably ensure a heckle-free time the rest of the night though. so either do nothing or kick him in the throat. your choice.

I don't think I've ever gotten that heckle, but if I did, I'd probably stare at the audience and slowly turn my amp up even louder.

Yeah, sometimes it's also nice to have a stomp box set to stun, just to have an obliterating force handy when you need it.

"Yeah? Well at least I'm not watching me suck!"

*opening chords to 'Smoke on the water.'*

I'm currently writing a song entitled "You Suck," so I can treat it as a request.

Adam CR wrote:"Yeah? Well at least I'm not watching me suck!"

*opening chords to 'Smoke on the water.'*

That's gold.