Marsupialized wrote:Pure dreck, take this shit to dreamworks
NEXT!

barbo wrote:I would go see this movie. Twice.

Marsup, you're playing the part of know-nothing movie exec to a t. Salut!

Ok.

Two grad students are walking the appalachian trail. They did it once back in the day on a field trip. They realise that the world has changed so much since they last walked this great walk. They also realise they are very horny. They are determined to do this. For the guys they left behind in UCLA.
They come across weekend walkers, black bears, foxy grad students. The weather turns bad and it's a fight for life. Lots of flashbacks of parent images and hot chicks who they miss. They get to the nearest town. The token weird guy who owns the local store gives them a spiked coffee. They freak out and get separated. Ted Nugent puts an arrow through one of them before his friend can get back to him. Long speech about missing the van halen concert before he passes away. The remaining kid hobbles the rest of the way. Barely makes it. When he does, joyous scenes. Lots of flag waving. His parents run at him in slow motion. People walk from the theater racked in guilt.

No animation? Penelope Cruz? Not Mayan at all. I retract my initial proposal.

Okay, so there's this talking cat, he's got an Australian accent 'cause everybody loves that shit. He gets lost when his family moves from Cincinatti to San Berdino, something about a pet carrier mix up and the old lady that ends up with our protagonist is all freaked out what with the accent and the talking and she tries to euthanize our hero with a baseball bat but he escapes in the back of the old-person-diaper-service's cart (complete with a hilarious shit joke!), that sort of thing. Okay, so out on his own, he hooks up with this group of Hell's Angels who turn out to be the largest meth manufacturers in CA. We work in action shots of meth making and hilarious one liners like "who needs to eat when you've got all these hair balls to chow down, right!?" The viral marketing will totally create itself.

I only need to figure out how to mix in cops and bottomed-out druggie antics and a Harley chase scene and a *HUGE* meth factory explosion (complete with dripping skin close-ups) and some type of sappy family reunion to finish out the plot. I figure I've got lots of sassy one liners the cat can deliver, so even if the plot is weak, we'll still have a winner.

blinduncledallas wrote:Ok.

Two grad students are walking the appalachian trail. They did it once back in the day on a field trip. They realise that the world has changed so much since they last walked this great walk. They also realise they are very horny. They are determined to do this. For the guys they left behind in UCLA.
They come across weekend walkers, black bears, foxy grad students. The weather turns bad and it's a fight for life. Lots of flashbacks of parent images and hot chicks who they miss. They get to the nearest town. The token weird guy who owns the local store gives them a spiked coffee. They freak out and get separated. Ted Nugent puts an arrow through one of them before his friend can get back to him. Long speech about missing the van halen concert before he passes away. The remaining kid hobbles the rest of the way. Barely makes it. When he does, joyous scenes. Lots of flag waving. His parents run at him in slow motion. People walk from the theater racked in guilt.

Ok, let's see whatcha got here...hmm....oh yes, the re-write...ok...
Yeah, it just dosen't have what we are looking for really. It's not doing anything for me.....wait, this had old guys in it before, right? Maybe you should change it back to old guys....I just got word that we may be able to get Clint Eastwood for a picture and the story with the old guys might work out....what were they doing? Walking somewhere? Whatever, we can work around that stuff....how about make them mountain climbers? That extreme sports stuff is hot right now, and yes two OLD extreme sports guys I love it...they have to proove themselves to the young guys who tell them they are too old to climb the mountain, or race the dirt bikes or whatever....ok, yeah I love it go with it...bring me another re-write by tommorrow and we'll see if we can't get this thing moving...

burndaddy wrote:No animation? Penelope Cruz? Not Mayan at all. I retract my initial proposal.

Okay, so there's this talking cat, he's got an Australian accent 'cause everybody loves that shit. He gets lost when his family moves from Cincinatti to San Berdino, something about a pet carrier mix up and the old lady that ends up with our protagonist is all freaked out what with the accent and the talking and she tries to euthanize our hero with a baseball bat but he escapes in the back of the old-person-diaper-service's cart (complete with a hilarious shit joke!), that sort of thing. Okay, so out on his own, he hooks up with this group of Hell's Angels who turn out to be the largest meth manufacturers in CA. We work in action shots of meth making and hilarious one liners like "who needs to eat when you've got all these hair balls to chow down, right!?" The viral marketing will totally create itself.

I only need to figure out how to mix in cops and bottomed-out druggie antics and a Harley chase scene and a *HUGE* meth factory explosion (complete with dripping skin close-ups) and some type of sappy family reunion to finish out the plot. I figure I've got lots of sassy one liners the cat can deliver, so even if the plot is weak, we'll still have a winner.

Ok good and bad news for ya, the Penelope Cruz thing is off anyway, we've lined up a lesbian stripper project she's really into...now, we've already got a talking cat picture in the works but that's gonna work for you because what we'll do we'll salvage some of your script by taking a few of the one liners out of it and using it for the other film...see, this 'oh shit!' line...I like that, we can use that....and....hmm...well, I'm sure there's some other shit in here we can use....ok, how's 2 grand sound?

This thread needs more music.

$2K sounds like you're not recognizing the talent you're dealing with. Okay, here's another card on the table:

"who needs to make a bee line to the corner to score when you've got a feline that can cook up some more!" I got lots of 'em. Do you get it now, you cheap corporate fuck? Look, I'll just go talk to Lucas, he knows the deal.

For a music score we use the Mexican metal-hop band Molotov. We can start with a mill point 2 and go from there.

burndaddy wrote:$2K sounds lie you're not recognizing the talent you're dealing with. Okay, here's another card on the table:

"who needs to make a bee line to the corner to score when you've got a feline that can cook up some more!" I got lots of 'em. Do you get it now, you cheap corporate fuck? Look, I'll just go talk to Lucas, he knows the deal.

You couldn't get an appointment to eat Lucas's shit you little punk!
You are lucky I'm offering you 2 grand at all for this piece of shit, who the fuck wants to see a cat doing drugs? Cats? They don't see movies! Druggies? They spend their money on drugs!
Can't take the kids, who the fuck is the audience?!
Take it or leave it and go back to waiting tables at denny's, asshole. This is as close to your pathetic 'dream' as you'll ever get and you know it.
Don't let my incredibly expensive ornate jeweled door hit you on the way out of my giant office filled with expensive trinkets.
NEXT!

So a group of chefs join the circus. And they have to prepare food, gourmet food, for the freaks and the carnies. Then some thing happens and something else happen and life goes on for the cooks. They prolly get fired for shitting where they eat and leave that crap job and open a restaurant where the experience becomes the theme of the restaurant and there's flames and slinging brule'.

Wait there's more.

OK, show random explosions and really fast, sharp cutting fight scenes for two hours. Then, if it takes in enough money make another one just like it, except throw in all the crap you'd normally throw out in the editing stage until it's about five hours long. Then cut that one in half so that you have two 'films' and announce you're making a trilogy that follows on from the original film.

It'll be gold! Though I don't think it's a new idea or anything...

mrdfnle wrote:So a group of chefs join the circus. And they have to prepare food, gourmet food, for the freaks and the carnies. Then some thing happens and something else happen and life goes on for the cooks. They prolly get fired for shitting where they eat and leave that crap job and open a restaurant where the experience becomes the theme of the restaurant and there's flames and slinging brule'.

Wait there's more.

Hmm...well, slant it a little but towards the whole 'big fat greek wedding' or that other one about the chefs, what was that called? I think they were Italians and they open a restaurant anyway, make it that style of thing and we may have something. Ok, ex circus chefs open a restaurant... their crazy families are involved and shit, I guess the circus people can be the family...they are running around trying to open the restaurant and....nah, this is shit sorry ain't got nothing to it.
NEXT!

andyman wrote:OK, show random explosions and really fast, sharp cutting fight scenes for two hours. Then, if it takes in enough money make another one just like it, except throw in all the crap you'd normally throw out in the editing stage until it's about five hours long. Then cut that one in half so that you have two 'films' and announce you're making a trilogy that follows on from the original film.

It'll be gold! Though I don't think it's a new idea or anything...

These are not new ideas you have for me.
You are walking into a nursery and explaining to a baby how to shit on itself...that's what you are doing....
Yes, I know explosions and fights are what people like. Tits and fucking as well, you may wanna write that one down.
Now do you have an actual IDEA for me?