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Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 8:22 pm
by that damned fly_Archive
check the weather for the cities before you leave.

chucks aren't a reasonable shoe. period. if you think so, enjoy your cold, wet feet when it rains in where-ever-the-fuck. also, enjoy the athlete's foot that'll soon bring.

toothbrush, towel, pillow, great idea. bring more underwear and socks than you do pants. bring plenty of shirts.

don't bitch about the other bands leaving. you might be on their turf.

bassplayers: sansamp bassdriver makes life easy. real easy.

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 8:35 pm
by otisroom_Archive
Marsupialized wrote:Number one rule

Make sure every single person in your band is cool.

If you follow that rule, and never waiver from it everything will be alright always. Even when something happens or shit sucks, at least everyone is cool.
One pussy or crybaby or asshole in the mix wil spoil everything always. Even when shit's cool, there's always that asshole to have to deal with.

Life is too short, man. Way too fucking short.


It seems that almost every band I work with has at least one pussy, crybaby and or asshole in it.

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 9:12 pm
by Marsupialized_Archive
otisroom wrote:
Marsupialized wrote:Number one rule

Make sure every single person in your band is cool.

If you follow that rule, and never waiver from it everything will be alright always. Even when something happens or shit sucks, at least everyone is cool.
One pussy or crybaby or asshole in the mix wil spoil everything always. Even when shit's cool, there's always that asshole to have to deal with.

Life is too short, man. Way too fucking short.


It seems that almost every band I work with has at least one pussy, crybaby and or asshole in it.


Shit, it seems like every room I walk into has ten of each in it

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:03 pm
by that damned fly_Archive
Skronk wrote:
dontfeartheringo wrote:
n.c. wrote:I'm vegan


pussy.


What is up with you and bashing vegans and vegetarians?


tour is difficult enough without some little bitch pissing and moaning about being unable to eat there, there, and there, there, and there...

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:11 pm
by burun_Archive
n.c. wrote:Sorry, but you guys kind of sound like pussies. Deodorant? Towels? Fucking pillow?

Being in a rock band doesn't mean you have to be a monk. I'm not expecting four star accomodations, but if I can't get some uniterrupted sleep, I am sure as shit going to be cranky and give a sub-par show the next night.

So a pillow on tour? Yes, thanks.

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:21 pm
by lemur68_Archive
n.c. wrote:Sorry, but you guys kind of sound like pussies. Deodorant? Towels? Fucking pillow?

My personal rule is I sleep on the floor even if there is a bed just so I don't get used to it. I'll shower every few days if it's convenient, but I definitely don't plan on it. I'm vegan which means I don't eat sometimes. Hunger pains are fuel for rock and beer actually gets you drunk. I'm married and don't cheat so I don't have to worry about hot 20 year olds.

How about this for a rule: Make sure every fucking thing is in the fucking van and walk around the venue to check an extra time after you are positive you remembered everything.

Also, spend all your money right away so you are not distracted by the possibility of having a good time.


Yeah yeah, the rest of us read Get In The Van too.

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:22 pm
by lemur68_Archive
Skronk wrote:
dontfeartheringo wrote:
n.c. wrote:I'm vegan


pussy.


What is up with you and bashing vegans and vegetarians?


A vegan touched his butthole once.

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 11:50 pm
by dontfeartheringo_Archive
that damned fly wrote:
Skronk wrote:
dontfeartheringo wrote:
n.c. wrote:I'm vegan


pussy.


What is up with you and bashing vegans and vegetarians?


Life is difficult enough without some little bitch pissing and moaning about being unable to eat there, there, and there, there, and there...


FHP.

Seriously, I don't mind if you don't eat meat.

Just shut the fuck up about it.

I was vegan for five years, vegetarian for ten. Then I realized what a burden I was being on everyone around me. Now I eat like a goat. I eat whatever's there to be eaten. Fuck, I eat goat too. For many years, and yes, on tour, I was a prissy little "I can't eat that" bitch, and then I had some time off, and went South. Way South. Spanish-only-spoken-here-South, and I realized how REALLY FUCKING HARD it is for most of the REST of the world to get some meat on their plate.

Fuck you, vegans.

I know what your problem is, you little control freaks.

You lack GRATITUDE. Most of you also lack the decency to not drag everyone else down by trumpeting the GODLIKE VIRTUE you possess by making the incredibly blithe, callow and First World decision to abstain from eating like a poor person. Organic free range asparagus from Whole Foods is the Hummer of dietary decisions. We're all very impressed.

In the van, this "lifestyle choice" you've made goes from obnoxious to ONEROUS.

You know everyone's hungry and tired, and yet YOU must be ACCOMMODATED.

What's MY problem? Dude, what's YOUR problem?

Tell someone in Tegucigalpa or Calcutta that you live in the richest country in the world yet you don't eat meat, fish, eggs or dairy. Try to do it with a straight face.

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 12:03 am
by mkoren_Archive
n.c. wrote: I don't have to worry about hot 20 year olds.


I wouldn't worry about hot 20 year olds, either. In fact, they're going to be just fine.

Tour Rules ! !

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 12:05 am
by burun_Archive
n.c. wrote: I don't have to worry about hot 20 year olds.

Don't worry about hot 20 year-olds.

Let me worry about hot 20 year olds.