This thread is golden. My story is boring though.
I was 19. She was nuts.
The end.
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
32Actually, that's lame. I'll try to fashion a story out of bland teenage bullshit.
She asked me out. I was kinda desperate and flattered. I was a real "romantic" idiot. I wanted to take my time gettin' to her goodies. I think we waited a solid month. Anyway, I broke up with her 6 months later, which was 3 months too long. She played head games with me, trying to set up arguments between her very recent, and still very present ex-boyfriend/tool.
When I finally had enough(after she cheated on me at a party), I broke up with her over the phone. I don't care. I was mad and sick of her to goddamned death. I was still living with my folks. I had gone out later that day after phoning her. I came home to about(no exaggeration)14 fucked-up messages-each progressively crazier. The last one was her screaming and yelling obscenities and blathering on about us yadda yadda. I call her back and tell never to call me again etc.
The next day, crazy idiot decides to pay me a visit at work(a store in the mall). The store I worked at was at the end of a long part of the mall and I could see her pathetically shuffling her feet toward my kiosk like a distraught turtle. At this point, I knew she'd completely gone off her nut and before she says more than a word I tell that i'm calling security. Nutter calls my bluff, so I do. Security dude is a friend from highschool and he askes if everything is ok. I say "no, this person is bothering me and i'd like her removed". She let's loose in the mall and he practically drags her away. That night, at about 1 in the morning i'm sleeping and I here a knock at my window and there she is with the moon creepily illuminating her shit-ass crazy face. I let her in through the window hoping I can sweet-talk her into leaving me alone.
Her last trick was to try and convince me that she'd missed her monthly visitor and she thought there was a good chance bla bla. So I kick her out the front door and tell her if it's true to send me photos. Of course it wasn't true.
A few months later she's living with one of my best friends and at a party, fucks him a few feet away from what they thought was my sleeping head on the floor.
Note* She myspaced me a few years ago and I noticed that she had just married a man who manages to call himself "Freedom Johnson". And to top it off, in the photos of their wedding(the ceremony) he was wearing a fucking pirate suit.
She asked me out. I was kinda desperate and flattered. I was a real "romantic" idiot. I wanted to take my time gettin' to her goodies. I think we waited a solid month. Anyway, I broke up with her 6 months later, which was 3 months too long. She played head games with me, trying to set up arguments between her very recent, and still very present ex-boyfriend/tool.
When I finally had enough(after she cheated on me at a party), I broke up with her over the phone. I don't care. I was mad and sick of her to goddamned death. I was still living with my folks. I had gone out later that day after phoning her. I came home to about(no exaggeration)14 fucked-up messages-each progressively crazier. The last one was her screaming and yelling obscenities and blathering on about us yadda yadda. I call her back and tell never to call me again etc.
The next day, crazy idiot decides to pay me a visit at work(a store in the mall). The store I worked at was at the end of a long part of the mall and I could see her pathetically shuffling her feet toward my kiosk like a distraught turtle. At this point, I knew she'd completely gone off her nut and before she says more than a word I tell that i'm calling security. Nutter calls my bluff, so I do. Security dude is a friend from highschool and he askes if everything is ok. I say "no, this person is bothering me and i'd like her removed". She let's loose in the mall and he practically drags her away. That night, at about 1 in the morning i'm sleeping and I here a knock at my window and there she is with the moon creepily illuminating her shit-ass crazy face. I let her in through the window hoping I can sweet-talk her into leaving me alone.
Her last trick was to try and convince me that she'd missed her monthly visitor and she thought there was a good chance bla bla. So I kick her out the front door and tell her if it's true to send me photos. Of course it wasn't true.
A few months later she's living with one of my best friends and at a party, fucks him a few feet away from what they thought was my sleeping head on the floor.
Note* She myspaced me a few years ago and I noticed that she had just married a man who manages to call himself "Freedom Johnson". And to top it off, in the photos of their wedding(the ceremony) he was wearing a fucking pirate suit.
Last edited by Frank Decent_Archive on Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
33Hmm...
After the first girl, Naomi, and I broke up I went on a bit of a sexual rampage. Girl number two electric bugaloo I met while working at a video store. It was a mom and pop place where I had pretty much free reign; smoking weed in the storage room, drinking while on the job and well fucking.
The video store had three tanning beds for some odd reason and this girl used to come in all the time to tan before I closed up. One night we were talking and getting high while I cleaned the store and we started fooling around. Before I let my boner get the better of me we left and went back to her parents house, watched Basketcase and screwed like apes. Post coitus her dad ran into the room with a baseball bat and chased my half naked ass out of his house. I never got my pants back and I drove home with the biggest shit eating grin. The End.
After the first girl, Naomi, and I broke up I went on a bit of a sexual rampage. Girl number two electric bugaloo I met while working at a video store. It was a mom and pop place where I had pretty much free reign; smoking weed in the storage room, drinking while on the job and well fucking.
The video store had three tanning beds for some odd reason and this girl used to come in all the time to tan before I closed up. One night we were talking and getting high while I cleaned the store and we started fooling around. Before I let my boner get the better of me we left and went back to her parents house, watched Basketcase and screwed like apes. Post coitus her dad ran into the room with a baseball bat and chased my half naked ass out of his house. I never got my pants back and I drove home with the biggest shit eating grin. The End.
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
34awful, awful woman.
a one night stand that lasted a year and a half, which is a little better than the one night stand that lasted two years, but that year and a half were far more miserable.
a one night stand that lasted a year and a half, which is a little better than the one night stand that lasted two years, but that year and a half were far more miserable.
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
35Frank Decent wrote:She myspaced me a few years ago and I noticed that she had just married a man who manages to call himself "Freedom Johnson". And to top it off, in the photos of their wedding(the ceremony) he was wearing a fucking pirate suit.
Gold. Pure, unalloyed comedy gold. Doesn't this make it all worthwhile?
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
36Mandroid2.0 wrote:
There's also my ex-husband, whom I covered in piss.
fyou ywere pasking for that.
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
37#1: My girlfriend at the time
#2: Same girlfriend's best friend
Sincerely,
Mr. Classy
#2: Same girlfriend's best friend
Sincerely,
Mr. Classy
I have been influenced by posters
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
38Ace wrote:Do you feel like a dad? Do you know Kim really well?
I didn't have any hand in raising her at all so it's really no to either. My only part was the conception and I only very, very vaguely remember any of that. Considering I didn't even meet her until she was four, I definitely can't claim any hand in her upbringing and it would be ridiculous to claim otherwise. Especially since her family are such wonderful people.
For a while I was pretty ashamed because it was so irresponsible. However, I can't say I'm upset that she exists. She seems to be a really great kid and she makes her parents very happy. One of those rare situations whereby something which could have been a nightmare ended up to be quite amazing.
run joe run wrote:Kerble your enthusiasm.
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
39The second guy I had sex with was the guy after the first one, and just prior to the third dude.
Animals are something invented by plants to move seeds around. An extremely yang solution to a peculiar problem which they faced. T. Mckenna
Tell us about the second person you ever had sex with
40Nina wrote:The second guy I had sex with was the guy after the first one, and just prior to the third dude.
This is all the same day?
Rick Reuben wrote:Marsupialized reminds me of freedom