I won tickets to the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion and US Maple. I wanted to see US Maple, so I took my wife. We were situated between a knot of hipsters who appeared to be enjoying themselves and an apoplectic fratboy who was screaming "YOU SUCK!" I always enjoy that kind of atmosphere, but it makes her nervous. . . .

When Rocket from the Tombs came to town, she asked to come along. I said, "OK, but you're not going to like it and I don't want to hear any shit!" Of course, she enjoyed herself and I never heard the end of it.

Finally, I was on the guest list at the Middle East for a Royal Trux show. I told the kid at the door my name. He asked which list. I was totally befuddled, not realizing a band like Guv'nor would have its own. My girlfriend at the time stepped up and said, "The Royal Trux." It made me feel big and important. (The atmosphere at this gig was also somewhat hostile. Neil "tuned up," then struck a chord on his still-out-of-tune guitar. Someone shouted, "You suck!" Neil acknowledged this encouragement by pointing in the guy's direction without looking at him. One of the coolest things I've ever witnessed.)

I can't even remember how many shows I talked my ex-boyfriend into going to. He was into folk singers and world music and flamenco guitar. Uh, yeah. So, successful shows were Negativland and Mojo Nixon, mostly because of the spectacle of it all. Less successful were Poster Children and Shellac.

In return, I went to Ravinia to see Lyle Lovett with him. Twice. I can't fucking stand Lyle Lovett, and to be honest, the only reason I went the first time was so that he wouldn't take his ex-girlfriend. The second time she came along anyway, plus the other ex-girlfriend from Denmark who was staying with him for 3 months.

Yeah, that relationship was all kinds of stupid.

Generally, my wife's more of a visual person--the whole "guys standing there playing instruments" scenario isn't her thing, but we have a policy that if I think she'll enjoy the show anyway (either because the band's doing something other than standing and playing in some way, or is so good that it doesn't matter), she'll go.

Successes with this policy: Birdsongs of the Mesozoic, Rachel's, Dub Narcotic Sound System, several Jonathan Richman shows, Tom Verlaine's film soundtracks shows (twice!), Les Paul, Alex Chilton, the Horseflies, and surely a few others I'm forgetting.

The most notable failure of this method was Bonny "Prince" Billy. We both really dug I See a Darkness, and when the Master and Everyone tour came through, figured it'd be a sure bet. Big mistake. I'm guessing that Long Live Death is a joke band, given the association with the Oxes, but even taken as a parody of muddleheaded hippiedom, it didn't make it. (If they're sincere, then they're worse than I thought.) They played way too long. Ned Oldham's set would have been ok at about a third of the length, but at a full hour it wore off what remained of our good will. BPB's set was badly mixed (out-of-tune backup singer pumped way too high, WO sorely undermixed), and the material just didn't come across. The uptempo performances of these songs were also a problem--the material seemed mediocre, where I think slower playing would have put them across better. What made this all miserable, though, was the freezing theater--cold even though it was packed with people, the cold just climbing through our shoes to our feet, then further on up as if we'd taken hemlock. Most audiences want long shows, but this one was prolonging the agony.

I had finally hooked up with a girl I had my eye on, but I remember a trip in trip back of a my then band's van to see Jad Fair in Hoboken as a turning point to when it went sour.

I took my ex-girlfriend to see Sunn0))).

She loved 'em. Which freaked the fuck out of me. I think she liked them more than I did.

Never did understand her.

A few years ago I took the girl I was seeing (along with some friends) to The Double Door for the yearly Beer Nuts St. Patty's show. She was kind of freaked out by the male nun playing bass...and the executioner manning the on-stage keg...feeding the boys and giving the girls a wet t-shrit. Classic. I knew it was never meant to be when she asked "why did you just dump a beer over that guys head?" Good mindless fun.

surprisingly, i've had much better luck taking significant others, friends, acquaintences, etc. to shows than i have taking them to see underground, independent, and/or foreign films. you'd be amazed how many stellar, one-of-a-kind films i've urged people to see only to have them all but walk out on them.

i think the reason why is that if you're at a show and you're not feeling it you can at least grab a pint, or shoot some pool, or talk to somebody. when you're at a screening, you're really stuck there. i walk out on movies all the time, and not always because i don't like them (sometimes i'm just plain tired). but it amazes me that all of these people i know who are ostensibly much more "mature" and well manned than i, are so incredibly impatient when they have to watch a film that isn't bombarding them left and right with the usual cues and cinematic shorthand.

i would never take someone to a breakcore show unless they knew full well what they were getting into.

Me friend took his ex-lady (they were together at the time) to go see faust in NY some years back. We were really excited and got right up front, and she looked nervous the whole time, as Faust can be freaky, even if you know them well.

The big dude ended up spitting on her (oh sure by accident, whilst screaming). Still, i remember this show more for that, then the fairly dissapointing Faust performance...

I met a girl that was in school to teach special needs children and the mentally retarded.

I took her to see Wesley Willis. She was horrified.

Never spoke to her again.

MrFood wrote:

MajorEverettMiller wrote:I met a girl that was in school to teach special needs children and the mentally retarded.

I took her to see Wesley Willis. She was horrified.

Never spoke to her again.

That doesn't make any sense. Why would she be horrified by a guy with some mental disabilities performing music on stage in front of a paying audience?

Did you explain to her that performing his music was a form of therapy to him?

She thought he was being exploited.

No sense of humor whatsoever.

Wish the Kids of Widney High were opening.