I worked at Target one summer when I was a kid, and they played 6 songs per month on an endless loop in the AV department. 6 songs, over and over. And they'd change them the first of every month.

One month, one of the songs was "Cotton Eye Joe". I really seriously almost killed someone.

[quote="bugs"]I always assumed that if you were someone like George Thorogood, Eddie Money, or Rick Springfield, with no burning musical genius, inner muse, or even a shred of talent, you at least enjoyed the “rocking outâ€

Prince, for Joan Osborne wrote:What if God was One of us?
Just a slob, like one of us.
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the pope, maybe, in Rome

stab my eyes.




Faiz

Re: that Train song

Apparently it's about the singer's dead mother. Sad, then, that he's got to use those space cadet lyrics.

Re: Bowling for Soup
They like Agent Orange like I'm the Queen of Sheba. Maybe they bought the shirt at Hot Topic or something.

unarmedman wrote:ah, salut to you too, ironyengine. was that job as easy for you as it was for me? except back-to-school week. that was hell.

Oh, it was - thankfully I didn't work there long enough for any back to school weeks, but I did manage to exponentially increase the number of pens I owned during my stay.

An example of how easy the job was - all the Staples I've ever seen have had their business-paper overstock located near the ceiling in aisle 1. One day I discovered, while climbing up there to fetch some to put back on the shelves, that being that high in the air behind a wall of paper boxes made a great hiding place. I grabbed a sponge out of aisle 4 (custodial supplies) and stowed it there for use as a pillow, and would henceforth take very quick naps up there on slow days. No one ever noticed.

Between that and playing with the shrink-wrap machine, the job was actually great fun in retrospect. Other than the muzak, anyway.

Back on topic - some of the lyrics on the newest Beastie Boys album give new meaning to "terrible." As an example, I quote:

Ad Rock? wrote:Beastie Boys in the place up in the space
So renovate or evacuate
You better think twice before you start flossing
I been in your bathroom often

Bugs, you have here written some beautiful paragraphs! Salut! You have made my day. Well done, sir!

thanks yo.

Also, my vote for the specific worst lyric of all time is:
"I did it all for the nookie, so you can take that cookie, and stick it up your ass"

I'm voting for this too. I hate Fred Durst a lot more than Interpol, and this line was written by a Homo Erectus.
Here is another submission:

(m. jagger/k. richards)

I’m a fleabit peanut monkey
All my friends are junkies
That’s not really true

I’m a cold italian pizza
I could use a lemon squeezer
What you do?

But I’ve been bit and I’ve been tossed around
By every she-rat in this town
Have you, babe?

Well, I am just a monkey man
I’m glad you are a monkey woman too

I was bitten by a boar
I was gouged and I was gored
But I pulled on through

Yes, I’m a sack of broken eggs
I always have an unmade bed
Don’t you?

Well, I hope we’re not too messianic
Or a trifle too satanic
We love to play the blues

Well I am just a monkey man
I’m glad you are a monkey, monkey woman too, babe

I’m a monkey
I’m a monkey
I’m a monkey man
I’m a monkey man
I’m a monkey...

I've found that the lyrics to most country songs are the worst i've ever heard - but also, comedically entertaining! is this intentional?

For instance, a few lines from a Kenny Chesney song:

She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

Well she ain't into cars or pick up trucks
But if it runs like a Deere man her eyes light up

She thinks my tractor's....

She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

She thinks my tractor's sexy
She thinks my tractor's sexy

or how about Alan Jackson:

Have a little love on a little honeymoon
You got a little dish and you got a little spoon
Little bitty house and a little bitty yard
Little Bitty dog and a little bitty car

Chorus:
Well it's alright to be little bitty
Little hometown or a big ol' city
Might as well share, might as well smile
life goes on for a little bitty while

A little bitty baby and a little bitty gown
It'll grow up in a littly bitty town
Big yellow bus and little bitty books
It all started with a littly bitty look

Chorus

You know you've got a job and a little bitty chick
Six-pack of beer and a television set
Little bitty world goes around and around
Little bit of silence and little bit of sound

A good ol boy and a pretty little girl
Start all over in a little bitty world
Little bitty plan and a little bitty dream
It's all part of a little bitty scheme

This has always stayed with me; Mel C on the subject of homeless people.

Mel C (from Spice Girls) wrote:"Where do they go and what do they do?
They're walking on by, they're looking at you
Some people stop some people stare
But would they help you and do they care?

How did you fall?
Did you fall at all?
Are you happy where you are,
Sleeping underneath the stars?
When it's cold is it your hope that keeps you warm

A spare bit of change is all that I give
how is that gonna help when you've got nowhere to live
some turn away so they don't see
I bet you'd look if that were me

How did you fall?
did you fall at all?
is it lonely where you are
sleeping in between parked cars?
when it thunders where do you hide from the storm?

Could you ever forgive my self pitty
when you've got nothing and you're living on the streets of the city
I couldn't live without my phone
but you don't even have a home

How did we fall?
can we get up at all
are we happy where we are
on our lonely little star
when it's cold is it your hope that keeps you warm

Where do they go and what do they do
they're walking on by they're looking at you
they're walking on by they're looking at you"

they're one of my favorite bands, and i think the charm of the combination of immature angsty lyrics with horrible mistranslation into english actually makes them very NOT CRAP, but i have to nominate the entirety of Voivod's first album. here is a link to all the lyrics from this album. fwiw, the band matured immensely by the time they hit their 3rd album, and especially the 4th which is just pure genius. but yeah, this first album especially, OUCH!

and here is a little sample of one of the worst, a song called Suck Your Bone, which i assure you is about violence and not homosexuality...

Suck Your Bone
------------------

I'm not afraid when you talk
I can't believe in your money
So we take you by the force
I'm ready to deal today

Suck, suck your bone
Look with fear I'm not alone
Fuck, fuck your soul
We're gonna kidnap and haul

I say go to hell one more time
You don't care for the group
We're gonna rape your child
Watch out here comes the troop

Suck, suck your bone
Look with fear I'm not alone
Fuck, fuck your soul
We're gonna kidnap and haul

Why don't you believe on it
You know what we want
Go shit ! I'm not a fish
We're gonna burn your home

Suck, suck your bone
Look with fear I'm not alone
Fuck, fuck your soul
We're gonna kidnap and haul