Walking in Memphis is worse than The Heat Is On, only because it has higher aspirations to be moving and meaningful and poignant.

The Heat Is On is better than All She Wants To Do Is Dance because it at least includes an actual saxophone instead of a synth.

All-time low for that era is Higher Love.

what about that other glenn fry song, "smuggler's blues"? boy, that song fucking sucks too.

"god bless the usa" - lee greenwood
"that's what friends are for" - elton john etc (as mentioned)
the complete recorded works of don henley

"walking in memphis" vs "black velvet" (alannah myles)

This is a lot of fun!

"The Heat is On" is really a stinker -- it's almost other-worldly, but I can't hold a grudge. That song reminds me of being 12 and Beverly Hills Cop and roller skating, so I'll cut it a lil' bubble-gum slack.

This song is much worse: "I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life" by the not-entirely terrible Green Day. I happen to hate that song more than any other that has been mentioned. Can't really put my finger on it... But wow, what a turd! They should have known better.

[quote]Anyway, there are far worse songs than this song (and many of the other songs on this list). For example, how does any top ten list of bad songs exclude these two monstrosities?

"The Curly Shuffle" by Jump 'n The Saddle
“Swing The Moodâ€

Superking wrote:This song is much worse: "I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life" by the not-entirely terrible Green Day. I happen to hate that song more than any other that has been mentioned. Can't really put my finger on it... But wow, what a turd! They should have known better.

to top it off, everytime i hear that song now, i think of the series montage at the end of the Seinfeld show where they played it over sappy slow motion shots of the cast doing stuff together.


kill me.

1. Billy Ocean - "Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car"

tied for second:

Spin Doctors - "Two Princes"
Spin Doctors - "Pocket Full Of Kryptonite"
Blind Melon - "No Rain"
4 Non Blondes - "What's Up"
Gin Blossoms - "Hey Jealousy"
Dead Or Alive - "You Spin Me Round"
Meatloaf - "Paradise By The Dashboard Light"
Manfred Man's Earth Band - "Blinded By The Light"
Starship - "We Built This City"

I can't believe that "We Built This City" is getting so many votes. What a great song! It perfectly sums up what happened in San Francisco in the 60s. And you can dance/rollerskate to it. So back off.

I'd like to add Terry Cashman's "Talkin' Baseball" franchise to the list, please.

More to come.

Terry Cashman! Writing his name sparked a vague memory.... A quick search on this here forum yielded this nugget from Bradley:

But as far as pussy ass 70's AM radio goes, they are minor offenders. For instance, have you ever heard "American City Suite" by Cashman & West?

Holy crap. If you ever want to terrify yourself, then listen to this song. If you have the guts, then seek out the entire seven minute horror version.

So let's throw this "American City Suite" on the pile.

Note: does anyone know where I can obtain a free copy of this "American City Suite", particularly the seven minute (!) version. I find it hard to believe such a thing exists. Please advise.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:

kerble wrote:One time, signore Bradley R. Weissenberger say to me: "Glenn Fry's the Heat is On, is maybe worst song ever?" and I think about it and then I think: "yes. is maybe worst song ever."

Tim M. got me thinking about the stupid hackiness of this song one time. I've since gotten very hung up on this song, and I spend an inordinate amount of time contemplating just how bad it is.

Thanks a lot, Tim M.

brad, so sorry

the worst thing about 'the heat is on' is that it rips off 'panama' by van halen, only the pre-chorus riff is played with synthesizer and saxophone instead of eddie van halen's guitar. i really think it's the worst thing any eagle has ever been affliliated with, except (see below).

incidentally, while it is in fact true that the heat is on, i wanted to make sure you knew that it is on the _street_. just wanted to clarify that.

flaneur wrote:

Walking in Memphis is worse than The Heat Is On, only because it has higher aspirations to be moving and meaningful and poignant.

'walking in memphis' is dead terrible

ok, i have seen so many great suggestions. not wanting to hang myself, i will ignore them now.

and i will list only my bottom three. i may have already done so on this site someplace. in no order:

1. 'witchy woman' by the eagles. for a band that specialized in making hideously terrible yet perfectly played music, it's the whole package. coked-up misogyny, improbably plodding music, and that 'oooh-ooh' part. it sucks worse than anything.

2. 'the joker' by steve miller. i like the 'oooh-ooh-ooh' part. otherwise, wretched. i'm a joker, i'm a toker, and in case you don't get the idea from 'toker,' i'm a MIDNIGHT SMOKER!! get it?!?!?!?!?!?! no, seriously, i smoke pot.

3. 'carry on my wayward son' by kansas. so much to hate. so long. so many parts. so many triple leads in these parts. so terrible the music. so bad.

tmidgett wrote:2. 'the joker' by steve miller. i like the 'oooh-ooh-ooh' part. otherwise, wretched. i'm a joker, i'm a toker, and in case you don't get the idea from 'toker,' i'm a MIDNIGHT SMOKER!! get it?!?!?!?!?!?! no, seriously, i smoke pot.

Haha! Mssr. TMidgett, you are to make me to laugh. Only I think you have these lines re-arranged, as I remember the song going "I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker." So it could be assumed he is talking about two different smokeables.

Still, very funny! Salut!

1. Paula Abdul: "Vibeology" - Probably the single worst song I've ever heard.

2. Aerosmith: "Rag Doll" (note that this could be substituted with ANY Aerosmith song, or any song that Steven Tyler sings on. This is just the most irritating one I could think of at the moment)

3. Madonna: "Santa Baby" - I know someone else did this originally, but I don't care enough to look it up. Plus, I know Madonna's version is worse, if it's possible to make this song worse.

4. Eric Clapton: "Wonderful Tonight" or whatever it's called. I don't know why, but this song, particularly the alternately very creepy and whiny self-pitying lyrics are nauseating. Awwww...you had too many wine coolers and your head hurts? Better have "your woman" tuck you into bed. Nice vagina, Clapton.

5. Meat Loaf: "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"

6. Rush: "The Trees" (I'd almost say any Rush song will do, but this might just be their worst)

7. The Eagles: "The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks" - I hate the Eagles so much, and this song actually strikes me as more irritating than "Witchy Woman" or many of their other ones. This band never did anything tolerable, but I can ignore most of their songs. This one is hard to ignore because it's so busy, not "laid back and mellow" like their other crap.

8. Missy Elliott: "Work It" - This could easily be substituted for anything of hers that I've heard. I loathe her constant use of non-word jibberish and stupid noises. The often-great production cannot save her songs from her delivery.

9. Madonna: "American Life" - An appallingly bad song in a catalog filled with nothing but bad songs. See the "bad lyrics" thread, as the lyrics to this are posted there, and they are among the worst I've ever heard.

10. Led Zeppelin: "Ramble On" or "Misty Mountain Hop" or "Battle of Evermore" or any of their other crap with fantastical lyrics about wizards and stuff (or, hell, just about any song that Robert Plant sings on).

I left off a bunch of stuff (Anything by Korn, Limp Bizkit, any of those other nu-cock-rock bands, Red Hot Chili Peppers, or Jane's Addiction; "Magic Man" and "Crazy On You" by Heart; "Barbie Girl" by Aqua; anything by the Spin Doctors, anything by 4 Non-Blondes, including that band name; I know there's more...)

Edit...

Supertramp: "Logical Song" I hate, hate, hate, hate that song so much. I just despise everything about it: the stupid rhyming, the trite lyrics, the stupid noises the singer makes at the end, that irritating whistle noise that has only been in one good song ever (and that is "Fender Bender" by MX-80), the cheesy sax that comes in like a poor man's Roxy Music. I hate this band based on my intense hatred of this song, which is probably the only thing I've heard by them.

Edited to correct a typo...