It can be, but not by default. Saying "you're welcome" before the other person can say "thank you" is definitely dick.

The one I hate is "please and thank you" to a request. The implication with the pre-emptive "Thank you" being "I trust you to carry out this all-important task for me, as there will be consequences if you do not."

I'm confused as to who considers this smug...

I think context, situation, and whether the "you're welcome" is genuine are all important here.

There absolutely been times when I did something a little above and beyond for someone, they gave a genuine thanks, and I gave a genuine you're welcome. There's also times when "You're welcome" feels like overkill and can come across weird (but that's probably overthinking it 90% of the time.)

Gramsci wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 4:34 am Back on topic… Moana, Mr Flack is correct Disney managed a film about Polynesian culture that didn’t suck. In fact for a lot of Polynesian kids it was a really empowering film.

Basically, I had a young kid at the peak time for seeing these movies a whole FUCKTON of times, as opposed to the more typical zero times, so suffer my opinions all ye:

All that about empowering Polynesian kids is absolutely true; they even made a te reo Maori dub of the film. This is important work, preserving a living language and nothing to be sneezed at. And look, the production design really is amazing in both films; meticulously researched and detailed props and sets in both cases, medieval Norwegian or Polynesian. It's like they went and digitised whole museums. They probably did. The snow simulation in Frozen is a work of art; likewise the water simulation in Moana.

So it is a shame that, after Frozen had - to my surprise - actually a very solid story, actually dare I say a modern classic what the hell I honestly thought it would be shit - that the writing in Moana is a bit atrocious. Not in a way that particularly stands out, just your standard 2020s bullshit, like the Mario bullshit and Barbie bullshit and all the other bullshit dads have to watch these days because nobody can plot a film.

But this has been my problem with just about every damn movie I've seen in the last I don't know how long. Honestly the writers' guild might have got my sympathy if they weren't such a bunch of hacks and I didn't wonder if AI might not do a better job anyway. All the stone-cold classic kids' films like Toy Story or Ratatouille or the Incredibles or the Iron Giant or Robocop, they had a story foundation you could park a truck on. Frozen nails it. Moana whiffs it.

But to circle back to the topic in a feeble gesture to forum etiquette, that bit with Maui singing "You're welcome" in exactly that kind of smug way is a fun bit.

Gramsci wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 4:34 am Interestingly I recently discovered my regional accent is the only rhotic English in the southern hemisphere.

A Southlander, then. New Zealand only has one regional accent...

Ha. Yes. Grew up in Invercargill until I was 12, then Christchurch until 25. I really loved ChCh and would have happily moved back there until the earthquake basically destroyed the city.

Frankie99 wrote: Fri May 17, 2024 10:52 pm
To Tom Nichols... has misread this situation.

So you're the Expert now?

My pleasure.

dontfeartheringo wrote: Mon May 20, 2024 2:24 pm

Frankie99 wrote: Fri May 17, 2024 10:52 pm
To Tom Nichols... has misread this situation.

So you're the Expert now?

I listened to that book. He’s a smart person with some pretty awful policy ideas and some good observations.

Frankie99 wrote: Mon May 20, 2024 5:21 pm

dontfeartheringo wrote: Mon May 20, 2024 2:24 pm

Frankie99 wrote: Fri May 17, 2024 10:52 pm
To Tom Nichols... has misread this situation.

So you're the Expert now?

I listened to that book. He’s a smart person with some pretty awful policy ideas and some good observations.

I followed him for a while until I realized that Never Trump Republicans are still Republicans. He had one good point if you look at it in the most charitable light possible. If I took a step back, it just started to look like regular old gatekeeping. "The NY Times editorial page is Always Right" kind of bullshit.

Very Important Update:

Teenage cashier at Walgreens replied to my "thank you" with "you're welcome" in an entirely polite and smug-free manner yesterday.

That is all.