Now that's a weird coincidence.
I was headed out for a late-night run to the grocery store a few hours ago. Thought about putting on shoes and decided that flip flops would be easier, but all summer I've had this weird vulnerable feeling about my feet in flip flops. Can't explain it, just haven't been too stoked on walking in tall grass without a proper shoe on. Laziness won out after working all day, and I slap slap slapped out the door.
I got to where the gate the opens into my driveway and I was scanning, scanning, scanning ahead because of this weird paranoia I've had this year. Out of the corner of my eye, one half of my brain thought "Oh, weird. A branch in the driveway," while the other half started pummeling the first and shouting "NO FUCKHEAD THAT'S A FUCKING ENORMOUS SNAKE."
Four foot timber rattler just chilling in the driveway, inches from my stupid dogs, right where my kiddo was about to go grab the trash can to take it to the street.
Mr Browning's Magical Hard Reset Tube sent Jake No-Shoulders back to God. I have some regrets, but judging by the buttons on that rattle, that snake had ten or eleven good years before it wandered too close to the people box. I guess I could make a guitar strap?