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PASTA wrote: Fri Oct 04, 2024 8:11 am Today marks Thirteen years since my initial diagnosis. Recurrence or not the emotions are huge. Conflicting and contrasting.

OUT opening with MRI last night was a beautiful moment of fist pumping and small tears.

Godspeed y'all, be kind to yourselves, be kind to others

Fuck yeah. Keep it going. This disease sucks but there are silver linings… I’ve definitely been more aware of the life I have since a year ago. Currently in complete remission, but it will come back. But whether it’s going to be 5 or 20 years to exit day I hold my daughters a little tighter than I used to, the world seems a little shinier than it was and sweating the small stuff is a bit more frictionless. My wife can tell when I’m not on the thinking about it train because I resort to mildly grumpy type.

99% of the fight you can impact is the way you allow your attention to dwell on death. We’re all going to die, and in a way that makes a mockery of everything we do in life. But there is also no reason to not find the joy in this fragile, fleeting existence.

You all are an inspiration!

Gramsci wrote: Fri Oct 04, 2024 9:24 am

PASTA wrote: Fri Oct 04, 2024 8:11 am Today marks Thirteen years since my initial diagnosis. Recurrence or not the emotions are huge. Conflicting and contrasting.

OUT opening with MRI last night was a beautiful moment of fist pumping and small tears.

Godspeed y'all, be kind to yourselves, be kind to others

99% of the fight you can impact is the way you allow your attention to dwell on death. We’re all going to die, and in a way that makes a mockery of everything we do in life. But there is also no reason to not find the joy in this fragile, fleeting existence.

man, I watch a lot of Norm MACdonald content because of how he spoke about death and I think you nailed it as he said much of the same thing. Apparently had little spoke about stomach cancer in his 20s - and then given his later Lymphoma/Leukemia, it changes the whole tone of his meanderings - a bit darker, but also very deep and encouraging.

definitely

haha!

Furthermore, the treatment protocol I've been on the last 6 months is doing it's job, the new cancer cells have not increasedin mass, or spread further. Keeping on the path.

PASTA wrote: Wed Nov 06, 2024 3:08 pm Furthermore, the treatment protocol I've been on the last 6 months is doing it's job, the new cancer cells have not increasedin mass, or spread further. Keeping on the path.

Fuck yeah! Thanks for some straight up good news on a dark day.

Sorry to darken the mood of the thread again after the good news posted above, but ...

My oldest friend from school, and the only person from that era that I've kept in touch with all through adulthood, just prematurely lost his elder brother to cancer. With a particularly cruel twist of fate, it happened on his (the brother's) 60th birthday.

I'm guessing there may have been a genetic component here, as their mother also passed away from the same form of cancer in her early 40s.

So yeah - I'm totally on board with continuing to ask cancer to go and fuck itself.

Super sorry to hear that. The weirdest thing I discovered after my diagnosis was talking with people just how many families are impacted by this compared to my everyday expectations. I know it sounds grim but cancer is a part of life for almost all of us, either directly or through friends and family. We should shine a light on this and collectively learn to accept this is a part of life. Maybe that would help psychologically for many of us.

This week I started the process of "proving" I still qualify for disability. Strangely feels more humiliating than the initial process 4 years ago. Probably due to the recurrence. Fortunately the paperwork is much simpler. Also fortunately the process is being reviewed by the State of Illinois, and I've let all my care team know they'll be contacted. No one on that team thinks I should HAVE to go back to work, or lose medicare.

Other than that things seem to be going well, next 90 day MRI on the 11th, results on the 12th.

Hope anyone dealing with this is holding on the best as they can today.