Wonkette sez:

Q: Why don’t GOP congressman use bookmarks?


A: They don’t need to; they simply bend over the pages.

Lordy,

= Justin

a gentleman totters into a bar and, slurring, says to the bartender, "gimme a pahnt oov beer." a couple minutes later, another equally inebriated man enters the bar, sits down and barks the same order.

the first man turns to the other, says, "hey friend... yooou sahnd irish, yooou frum ireland?"

other man says, "mattur oov fahkt, ay am."

"no keedin'! ay am, too. you from dooblin?"

"ay shore am! tha northsayd. yooou?"

"me as wehll, shore am! how old ya say ya were? i'm 27."

"no shite! as am ay! where'd ya go to school?"

"sahnt mary's. yooou?

"sahnt mary's toooo! did ya hahve mizz cahmbell as a tehcher?..." and they continued.

another gentleman walks into the bar, sits down the opposite end of the two gentleman and hails the bartender for a drink, asking "so what's going on with those two guys down there?"

"oh," says the bartender, "the o'reilly twins are just catching up."

A blonde walks into a bar and orders a double entendre and the bartender gives it to her.

Why do drummers put their drumsticks on the dashboard?


So they can park in the handicapped spots.

(Read this one out loud.)


Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Why did the blond go to church?


Because she heard there was a guy there (stretch both arms out to your sides) hung like this.

This is the best joke I've heard in months. I've no idea why I find it so funny.

Why did the baker's hands smell of crap?

Because he was needing (kneading) a shit.

Loretta wrote:brilliant.
just read back over them all.
makes my day.
why did the baker have brown fingers?

cos he kneaded a poo.
better said than written.

sorry

this is the best way to write it i feel.

well i did a couple of years ago when i posted it

Loretta wrote:

Loretta wrote:brilliant.
just read back over them all.
makes my day.
why did the baker have brown fingers?

cos he kneaded a poo.
better said than written.

sorry

this is the best way to write it i feel.

well i did a couple of years ago when i posted it

I've been rysied.

Feels ok.