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I think public pantslessness is a good alternative to cargo shorts.

But I am not tmidgett.

Hey tmidgett,

In this picture, is the dude wearing an earring?

Thanks.

Hi Tim,

I have a wedding that requires my attendance this coming Saturday. The registered gifts are what you might expect: $95 teapot, $30 soup bowls.

Ugg.

Anything wrong with handing the newlyweds a nice gift certificate to a fancypants restaurant instead? Is this a violation of some daft protocol?

Thanks,

Brad

Oakland

itchy mcgoo wrote:I think public pantslessness is a good alternative to cargo shorts.

But I am not tmidgett.

I'll do this right now. I'll put my cellphone on "vibrate". Somebody call me!

Sunlore:

Can't see his left ear.

Anyone is welcome to chime in on this one:

It is regarding a woman-- so you have been warned. I should probably break down the history with this woman in some sort of debriefing before I ask my real question. I think the circumstances surrounding the current situation are important. If they aren't, and only the current situation is relevant, tell me. I would just talk to my friends about this but they either hate her or have a crush on her and say bad things about me in an effort to win her over (do they really think that she doesn't tell me these things?). I'm in the process of weeding out those three.

Sorry about tense changes. Some of this appears to be or is happening now. It is chronological, though.

I met a woman last summer a few months before I left for college. I hadknown of this woman for some time but never thought much about her other than "She is cute. And way too old for me (sigh)". We were acquaintances for a few years before we really got to know each other. I would see her at a show at her church or we would bump into each other around town and talk for a few minutes. We started hanging out almost every day during the summer. For the first few weeks, I was confused. "This woman is twenty-five years old. I am barely eighteen. She is seven years older than me. She isn't insane. If she was, I might know her intentions a bit better. She is a Southern Baptist virgin, but aside from that, she has her head on straight. No way she is interested." I tell her about my schoolboy crush on her and she is flattered, but not interested.

I go away to college and she is calling me 5/6 days a week. She realizes that she is very interested a few weeks into the semester. We date for a few months. I fall in love with her. I know that I am young, but I have had enough experience with women to recognize this feeling. You don't seem like one to argue that point, though. So I will leave it alone. I "deflower" her (if you believe in that sort of thing. I think it is important, though. Because she certainly does.) Good times all around for a while.

She breaks it off with me in December after some sort of crisis about not having energy for me or whatever (I live 100 miles away. I see her every two weeks, maybe.) We still see each other on and off for months and I see less and less to like. I was still hanging on to her in hopes that she will be the person that I have known her to be and expect her to be. For a while that was largely dependent on how she felt about me. When things were good between us, she looked a lot better. I understand that correlation is no accident. I'm over that, now. Mostly because I have lost most of my immense respect for her.

I have been back in my hometown for a while, now. We "came together" last weekend and I think to myself "Good. I want this to work". No. She basically wants me to be her stud on the weekends. "We shouldn't see each other during the week", she says. I saw her today at a restaurant and she just nodded and walked out. Maybe I am reaping what I sow, but I would like to think that she is more than just a symbol for some sort of sick lesson that I am to learn. She is a complex human being that I enjoy knowing and being with.

The reasons that she only wants to fuck and can barely acknowledge me in public, now:
I'm an atheist (my favorite).
I'm eighteen (fair enough, this makes sense on its own. It isn't the dealbreaker for her, though. Just something to add to the list)
SHE can't trust ME (She has been holding a grudge since October over something so inconsequential that it would embarrass me to write it out. As if this problem isn't silly enough.)

Should I just enjoy my time with her while she stumbles into the next phase of her life? Should I see her as a representation of the fickle nature of humans and cut her off completely?

I think it would be unfair for me to internalize her by cutting her off and learning a few lessons. Life is chaotic and any lesson that I could possibly take away wouldn't necessarily be applicable later on in my life. She is a person with emotion and feeling, too. She doesn't share it with me like she used to (at least when we aren't physically together). So I have to internalize her to a degree. What else do I have to go by but my dealings with her?

I won't be her "fuck-buddy" while she goes on dates with other people during the week. She knows how I feel about her and she is exploiting me when we are together. I keep expecting her to make a commitment that is congruous with our actions when we are together. I am disappointed again and again. Not just feeling sorry for myself-- but I am disappointed in her for using me. I am also disappointed in myself for allowing her to use me.

Do I cut my losses and extinguish this fire myself or do I let her kill any ounce of admiration and respect that I had for her. Am I oversimplifying it and pitying myself too much? I don't know. I'm not even sure that I am asking the right questions. Feel free to address whatever you think the real question is-- because I probably don't even see it.

Also:
Boxers or briefs?

What are some good alternatives to cargo shorts?

There are no alternatives. If you're gonna go cargo-short, you won't get a similar array of straps, compartments, and unfortunate shape in any other garment.

Ha. I'm curious, as well. So utilitarian, these cargo shorts. I should love them but they are too ugly and awkward. I just wear a jacket with pockets if it isn't too warm. I'll just leave my junk in the car or house if it is too hot and I don't need the items that would go in the cargo shorts/jacket.

Cigarettes are the only real problem.

I gave in and got some cargo shorts when I was going to Key West a couple years ago.

They're great for bumming around Key West and similar places.

Wearing them in normal civilization....I cannot condone it, but like everything, there are people out there who can pull it off.

In this picture, is the dude wearing an earring?

I think around his right ear, that's just a curl of his hair.

I have a wedding that requires my attendance this coming Saturday. The registered gifts are what you might expect: $95 teapot, $30 soup bowls.

Ugg.

Anything wrong with handing the newlyweds a nice gift certificate to a fancypants restaurant instead? Is this a violation of some daft protocol?

What's wrong with the teapot?

I'd do the teapot.

Actually, I don't usually buy registry gifts. I don't know why.

We give a lot of people apples. You go to honeycrisp.com and get the apples-every-month for x months thing. People like it.

Anyway, no, fuck no, you can get them whatever you want. Just make sure it's something that they can consume, split, or sell if they get divorced.

It is regarding a woman-- so you have been warned.

Uh oh!

I think women are pretty much like other people.

"We shouldn't see each other during the week", she says. I saw her today at a restaurant and she just nodded and walked out.

Oh-kay.

Maybe I am reaping what I sow

I don't get it. You wanted to be with this chick, she with you, and...what did you do wrong?

Maybe you mean you had sex with a religious virgin, and now she is making you pay for it. If that is what you mean, then I understand. And yes, you are reaping what you sowed.

The reasons that she only wants to fuck and can barely acknowledge me in public, now:
I'm an atheist (my favorite).
I'm eighteen (fair enough, this makes sense on its own. It isn't the dealbreaker for her, though. Just something to add to the list)
SHE can't trust ME (She has been holding a grudge since October over something so inconsequential that it would embarrass me to write it out. As if this problem isn't silly enough.)

Anytime someone wants to start giving you REASONS they don't want to see you any more, feel free to tune out. Nod politely until they're done talking. Then walk away.

The only thing you need to know is that she's not interested in you. If she was, she'd find a way to justify her interest in you, despite these terrible faults you have about not believing in magic and being born too late and so forth.

Should I just enjoy my time with her while she stumbles into the next phase of her life? Should I see her as a representation of the fickle nature of humans and cut her off completely?

Cut bait. I wouldn't see her as a representation of anything. Maybe of people who have the Bible too far up their asses to enjoy themselves w/o feeling bad about it.

If you really did steal her virtue, that fact is probably compounding her weirdo guilt thing about you being a heathen etc. You cannot undo that one.

You can waste time on this girl, or you can go find someone who isn't going to play (as many) retarded games with you.

Sometimes people learn certain lessons out of wasting time on certain girls, but you can probably learn that stuff in a more constructive way.

If you cut bait, then, whatever you do, do not answer her phone calls when she keeps calling you. THIS PART IS VERY IMPORTANT.

Boxers or briefs?

I'm not particular, but if I had to pick, I'd pick boxers.

If you cut bait, then, whatever you do, do not answer her phone calls when she keeps calling you. THIS PART IS VERY IMPORTANT.

Based on my experiences dating older ultra-christian women (something I gave up a long time ago) you would be wise to follow Tim's suggestion.

Hey tmidgett,

How do you feel about people calling your band The 'Pit?

It makes me think of an armpit when they do so.

matte wrote:Based on my experiences dating older ultra-christian women

Wow: salut.

Tim, do you know of any companies that do ground shipping (or otherwise *affordable* shipping for heavy packages) from the U.S. to Canada? I need to get a whack of books from the Chicago to Vancouver, doesn't matter if it takes a month, but no one does ground shipping across the border anymore. I don't need to put the GD books on a jet plane.

Also, my right eye produces a lot of snot that gets worked into a little ball at the inside (nose-side) of the socket. Left eye: doesn't make jack. Is this related to my sinuses? Is it best if I or my ladyfriend digs it out routinely (as is her wont) or can we let my snot-eye alone?

Thx.

Tim.
If you would have to choose between never riding a bike again in your life or never going to a cinema, what would you choose?