I've got one brother, 18 years older than myself. Because of that, I don't think we ever got super-close, although I had to share a room with him until I was about 8. I learned a lot of what not to do from his lifestyle in his 20's.....living at home, spending all your time in bars, getting into minor trouble, etc. Not that I'm perfect in that respect, but I watched him struggle for a while so I've learned not to repeat his mistakes.

We fought constantly when I was a kid. Even though there was no way I'd ever win a fight with him, we still fought like brothers fight. Got my ass handed to me constantly. All because we LOVED to annoy the shit out of each other.

He used to race ATVs when he was younger, 3-wheelers. He quit when a friend of his and fellow racer died in an accident. At that point his literally dozens of trophies were packed up in boxes, rarely to be seen again.

Now he is a hard-working man with a wonderful wife and son. He's a hell of a bow-hunter. He has a nice house that he built on a beautiful piece of wooded land. His son is a smart kid, and good at heart, but I'm afraid he displays some of my least favorite qualities of my brother's youth. But he's very young and bright so I'm sure he'll grow out of that eventually.

Even though we're not as close as brothers should be, and we have very little in common, my brother is NOT CRAP.

About a month ago I had a really rough time buying myself a new wallet because I finally had to retire the old leather relic that my brother gave me when I was about 10. That wallet was at least a decade old when he gave it to me, and I kept it in use for about 17 years. I'll never throw it out though, the leather is the softest imaginable.

My older brother is intensely into rock climbing, pastry baking, geology, and meteorology. He's the only family member to not protest my decision to drop out of school and travel Europe. He's never been stoned or laid and maybe never will, yet has always helped me obscure my recklessness and indiscretions from my parents. And Steve has always been there to save my ass, no complaint--drove my ungrateful ass to girl's houses in high school, lent me money for pot last week, made vegan food for me at family gatherings, always checked in with me to make sure I've not been arrested, etc. We're distant and don't get each other, but would go to bat for one another over anything. That's what brothers are all about.

Honestly, he's sort of a loser by most approximations, but I quite respect him for not buying into the typical "American Dream" shit that my parents have always supported. The dude just wants to start a bakery in Colorado and make just enough cash to fuck around on mountains every weekend. NOT FUCKING CRAP, no waffles, for loyalty alone.

NOT CRAP

My brother likes crappy music and NASCAR, is the world's worst person to teach you anything (with the exception of perhaps my dad), says some racist things that get on my nerves sometimes, and probably used to have a bit of drinking problem. When we were little we used to get in fights constantly. I mean knock down, drag out, fistfights. Sometimes with projectile matchbox cars or nintendo controllers as weapons.

But he's my brother and one of my best friends. All surface differences aside, we're a lot alike. Same sense of humor, similar looks, a lot of the same mannerisms. It's funny how you can veer off and take what seems like a very different path in life, even on purpose because you want to do your own thing, but you end up being so similar to your siblings anyway when you look hard enough.

I have two brothers.

My younger brother is the funniest person I've ever met.
You older brother is the second funniest person I've ever met.

My younger brother almost died several times. Once, when 3, he rode his bigwheel to the train station and parked himself on the tracks. There he stayed until a police officer scooped him and his bigwheel up before an approaching train almost turned him into glue.
He was also hit by a car on his bike. Then, he got a rare infection that swelled up his Adam's apple to where it almost sufficated him to death - caught just in time - The same affliction Bill Bixby's son died from.
My worst memories of childhood are seeing him hooked to numerous tubes in the hospital (Up his nose, in his arms, in a breathing mask, etc...
All this before he was five.

My older brother almost died when he was shot in the back with a shotgun during a botched robbery attempt on a friend of his on Duke University's campus.
Also, another horrible memory of being told by my Dad and wondering what was to follow when he said, "Your brother was shot, and..."

So sad this would've been if one or both of them had not been so lucky as they are both my best friends on earth. All the incredible memories and side-splitting jokes that I never would've heard.

I never take them, or any of my family members for granted - ever.

Some of my best memories are of our long road trips cross-country to Idaho or to Florida for family vacations. Unbuckled and rolling around in the back seat of the station wagon like kegs, tying our Star Wars figures with licorice rope and hanging them out the back window, being set up by my older brother to have done something wrong so my Dad spanked me instead of him with my older brother laughing at me with each swap of the hand on my ass. Good times!

I share a love of all-things Star Wars with my younger brother.
I share a love of all-things golf with my older brother.
My older brother and younger brother share a love of all things Star Trek together.
Together, we share a love for all-things Cubs, Wiffle Ball, sound effects, and family together.

I have a sister too. But she is not a brother. And the rules of C/NC are strict. I fear to break these rules.

Brother(s): Not Crap.

CRAP, with a HIGH only because he's my brother. He's younger by about 4 years.

He cheated on a fantasy baseball league he was comissioner of and the league disbanded as a result. That doesn't sound like a big thing, but I was terribly disappointed in him.

He's really impressed with all of these sketchy losers he knows, brags about violent chicken-shit criminal things they do. He sold weak pot for years. He listens to rap. He picks up skanks on myspace, one of whom he dated briefly, dumped, and continues for some unknown reason to drive her car. Despite his countercultural leanings, he's a boorish outspoken Conservative, yet remains oblivious to the fact that these people he looks up to would want nothing to do with him except for his vote. When he ends up destitute he'll need desperately the public assistance he thinks people should be denied. He's rude.

I've got three younger brothers, all resolutely not crap.

Oldest of the three is a year younger than me. Super fucking funny, and quick witted. Memorizes sport stats like all hell, routinely rules ass in poker when absolutely wasted out of his mind. He wins when he plays sober, too. His friends are douchebaggy, jockish types, but he's still pretty open minded about things. Good guy! Drinks more than I do, which is saying something. Once, when he was in the Air Force, he ended up blacking out. Apparently he tried to go to sleep in his truck, ended up kicking out the window while trying to get comfortable, got pissed and walked off. Some how he ended up at a nursing home a couple of miles away, climbed in through an empty window, and found an empty bed and went to sleep. Was woken up by the cops who thought his buddies had played a trick on him and they mercifully just had him sit in the drunk tank for a few hours before some friends of his picked him up. OH yeah, he had the bright idea to take five valiums his senior year in high school. was caught when he couldn't get a spoon of food to his face at lunch. somehow managed to graduate without any drug charges.

2nd Oldest (or 2nd youngest) is the most relaxed person I've ever met in my life. Does everything very slowly and methodically, and is a bit of a neat freak. Pretty good guitar player for his age, which is like 16, but my dad has got him into shit like Journey, Van Halen, etc. Just got over a little stint where my dad was acting like he was a manager or something, which was kind of disgusting to watch, but thankfully my little brother and his band wised up and eventually told him "no thanks." My dad's a really big asshole in most senses of the word, but this is my dad's favorite. Sometimes he can catch a little bit of flack from the other three of us for being the most liked, but its generally in jest. He'll play some interesting stuff sometimes - I played him Television's Marquee Moon, the other day, and he wants to learn the entire album. When he was younger he used to hit on my female friends in a really hilarious way. Whenever he'd see them he'd say "Heeeeeyyyyy," and lean up against the wall and try to start up conversations while raising his eyebrows or something. I dunno, I can't explain it. If he were any older than he was (like 12 or so), it would've been creepy, but he pulled it off to where it was pretty hilarious. Good for him!

Youngest - diabetic, loves candy and sweets. pretty thin, but will do his absolute best to beat the ass of anyone who thinks is messing with him. He's an adhd poster child, really unorganized. Razor sharp wit. He's pretty cool to hang around with and is definitely an old soul, but he has a mean streak a mile long that starts fights sometimes. He picked up playing drums, and got decent pretty quickly, but then got bored with it. I'll listen to the oldies station in my car and the kid will sing a long with practically every song on the station----thing is, he listens to stuff like Rob Zombie and Ozzie Osbourne, so how he ever hears these songs is a complete mystery to me. Likes to mess with paintball and airsoft guns, looooooves the fuck out of animals. Once he accidentally made his guineau pig bleed by cutting the toenails a hair too short and started crying. Really, really energetic, sleeps harder than anyone I know.

I have two older brothers, one is a tech ed teacher, the other is a truck driver for a liquor company.

I grew up alongside hockey, and football players. not really the rebellious types. my oldest brother would let me hang out with him, and his friends. I remember all the older girls loved me, and give me hugs--I was in grade school at the time. I looked up to him, he introduced me to nirvana, metallica, live, offspring, pearl jam, so basically nothing I listen to now.

when he left for college we didn't stay that close, I would hear from him every once in awhile, go see him with my parents, or see him on holidays. we still shot the shit though when we did. that's kinda how it is now. he has an awesome wife, and cute kid, now 2, my nephew is a huge stud. we will go out for a beer once in awhile, or just drink our dad's at home.

he teaches, and wood works, mostly adding on structure in peoples homes, or making tables, and chairs--things like that. he use to coach girls hockey, and boys varsity jr. high football team.

my middle brother is the outdoors type, he hunts alot, fishes quite a bit, does some wood working, drives a semi, so he partially fits the stereo type of wisconsin, he lives outside of our home town, plays pool, and shoots his bow in a league. he is very good at bow hunting. we don't talk much, it's kinda just short catching up when I see him.

when I think of it, I don't have many fond memories with my brothers, we've never really gone out all together, besides my oldest's wedding. we don't ever get together to do things, we are all completely differen't from one another, and just do our own thing really. kinda sad in a way.

that doesn't make them crap though, there both genuinely good people, my older is very smart, and really funny, my middle brother just doesn't give a shit, which I think is very cool, I wish I could just not give a shit and be content with it. he's got a very dry sense of humor and is sarcastic.

not crap. waffles, for growing apart.

If I had a brother I bet he'd be a real dick

My brother is fucking awesome. Way smarter than I was at his age. He's also old enough now to understand the difference between completely shit music and completely brilliant music.

I took him to his first concert (Morrissey) the night before last. He had a fucking blast.

He is my best friend and I love him very, very, very much.

Edit: Disregard all of what was here. He's seeming to really start to get his life all together better than it is now and I am very, very happy about it.

He's also older than I am.