What does a stripper do to her asshole first thing in the morning?

Hands him his sticks and drops him off at practice.

Drummer- that guy who plays with musicians.


I think that's all I hope there's more.

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?



Hey guys...let's play one of my songs.

just remembered. . .

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Homeless

A drum machine's not crap. If you want a drummer, get a drummer. A drum machine can never replace a human , but it's useful if you just want accompaniment.

i really like that pixies song "the thing" where they record live hats over a drum machine doing the kick/snare.

drum machines arent crap. but unless you have an analog one (for the "vintage sound"), youre better off these days just getting a sampler plus samples of drum machine sounds.

yea drum machines def not crap. i midi-sequence drum samples with a sampler all the time for rap beats, dub tracks, "industrial rock" tracks... all sorts of genres could use some square timing here and there.

but those are samples in a sampler... the only time i use an actual drum machine is with the roland r-5 for its sequencer, from which i send midi data to other devices. never actually use the r-5 sounds.

NOT CRAP. Maybe it's crap if your world is totally built around live guitar rock, but there are way too many great albums that were built on electronic beats.

I want an 808 and an MPC.

I think that a drum machine can be an essential part of a group's sound - if the drum machine sounds distinctive. I know this is gonna seem kiss-ass, but...hell, a huge part of Big Black's identity was the about-to-explode sound of that drum machine. It was also a huge part of Suicide's identity - that weird, air-leaking, thudding sound.

It's all music. The drum machine will be good if the music is good. There has been a lot of crap made with drum machines, but there has also been a lot of great music made with drum machines.