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Bradley,
I feel compelled to respond to the "wool" factor you brought up, as your question brings up many fond memories.
Yes, baseball players who get paid pull much wool.
I had the good fortune to have been paid to play baseball, receive meal money and all the clean towels I wanted while on the road.

I don't say this to brag, as I clearly made nothing of myself in baseball passed high A ball. Nor am I still living in the past. However, I do bring it up so as to illustrate how easy it was to get laid on a regular basis for doing little more than saying, "Oh, sorry. I'd love to go out to dinner with you tomorrow night, but I have a game. Say, how would you like to come? Bring a few friends too. I'll leave some tickets under your name at the box office and a couple of my teammates and I will meet you afterwards."

This was the "rap" of ALL raps.

"I'm a junior partner." "I'm in med. school." "I'm a broker." These raps will always, ALWAYS fall short of, "I play baseball."
It will even beat out, “I play in a band,” because unless your band is playing that night or the next to more than 7,000 people, the response will be, “Yeah? Cool. When are you playing next? Maybe I’ll come check you out.”

I will never forget the eyes of the first girl I laid that line on. It was in an Appleton, WS bar. They became as wide as saucers, sparkling with dollar signs and glossed over with "what ifs..."

And if you don't happen to pick someone up at a bar, no need to worry. There's, routinely, a bounty of women who wait outside the players' clubhouse or parking lot. They all know your name, what round you were drafted in and how much money you signed for.
"Great game." "Where ya' going tonight?" "Can you sign my breasts?" These are the comments a player loves to hear after an 0-fer night in late July with nothing to do until batting practice the next day at 5pm.

The only difference between minor league gold-diggers and major league gold-diggers is the hotel you have to bring them back. The Howard Johnsons or Days Inn by the highway - surrounded by every fast food chain on the planet - was where our team always stayed. A bit different than the Westin off of Michigan Ave. here in Chicago, but the beds are pretty much the same, not counting the occasional roach.

There is a general rule in pro baseball, at any level.
NEVER bring your wife, fiance or girlfriend to the hotel bar.
Reason being, many married, engaged or dating players can often be seen putting the finishing touches on their hussy du jour in the hotel bar. Wives and sig. others of players are friends, and they talk. Therefore, if you want to have them on the road, keep them away from the hotel bar and walk swiftly through the lobby and straight up to your room with her on your arm opposite the bar.
I would imagine that Kyle Farnsworth knows this rule all too well, and appreciates all those who abide by it.

I could go on and on about such off-the-field baseball terms as “Showtime”, “Short Arming” and such. Or tell you the story about my first day inside my clubhouse when our manager was bitching members of the team out for hooking up with high-school seniors on the last road trip and for not “Carding the fuckin’ bitches before throwin' your cock at them." But it’s Friday and I have a date with my in-laws to be in Milwaukee.

How life changes. One minute you’re typing about how easy it was to get laid back in the early to mid 90’s, the next, you’re in a car scouting out wedding reception sites with your fiance all weekend.

Serafino Francisco Albini's post about nearly drowning at Mont-Saint-Michel pretty much takes the cake.

But this post isn't far behind.

You made my day, 6-4-3.

You made my day.

For me this is an easy question to answer. I would rather play or watch soccer in any form, from little children to pros. If the comparison were soccer and hockey, it would depend on the teams playing and skill levels.

A list of reasons in no particular order

Reason #1 Pace and time.

I don't understand the United States and its affection with sports that move so slowly. Baseball has become so incredibly slow. There is so much time taken between pitches I find myself disgusted with the batters and pitchers. In the summer softball league i have played in this would never fly and I enjoy it better because things keep moving.

Living in Colorado, i better plan a 3 hour window if i want to watch a Rockies game. I find it amazing people in baseball are continually trying to find ways to increase scoring. I can't stand watching entire games here because every homerun seems to be accompanied with a visit to the mound, or a pitcher change. Maybe if i had tivo and could just fast forward through all the nonsense i would enjoy baseball more.

90 minutes. You know you have approximately that much time in soccer. Only in single elimination games is there an overtime and even these are limited. It is much easier to work soccer than baseball into the schedule. Extra innings during the regular season just prolong the agony. Only soccer or hockey really creates the right atmosphere in overtime. (although FIFA just recently got rid of the sudden death format. Now if a team scores the rest of that half of overtime will be played out to see if the other team can equalize. Still going to be quite suspenseful.)

(a side note. I don't understand why American football is popular for the same reason. I recently asked my students which was better: football or soccer. A common argument for football was it is more fast paced. The average play in football is about six seconds long, but teams are allowed 40 seconds between plays, many times with the clock stopped. How is that a faster pace than a game where the clock doesn't stop and is always moving. No wonder I can't, really watch a football game unless a team i follow is in it.)

Reason #2 Use of the feet

It is so natural for a young child to kick a rock or what have you on the ground, yet only soccer features using your feet to manipulate something. Every other sport i can think of only uses the feet as a form of conveyance. Granted it is tough to run and change directions, and i am constantly in awe of the way infielders are able to change directions and make wonderful plays, but watching people do the same movements while keeping control of a ball is spectacular. If you ever get to see Zinedine Zidane play (Real Madrid or France) do it. He possibly does it better than anyone else. Now this argument is ironic coming from someone who has played keeper all of his life, but it actually makes me more in awe of the masters.

Baseball does have the added implement of using a bat. This is respectable and very tough at the pro level, (of course they have to step out and 'regroup' after every pitch!!!) but at many other levels it doesn't seem as impressive.

Reason #3 The World Cup and over all emphasis of national team play

Whoever named it the World Series needs to be shot. It is the major league championships. Granted the league is becoming much more worldly, but it still isn't a world series. Having two teams in Canada doesn't make this legit either. You are still being payed to play for a team in a city within a single nation. I would really like the Major League champion take on the the Japanese champion every year. That would help make it more worldly, but still not a World Series.

The World Cup is perhaps the greatest sporting event in the world. The olympics are right up there with it. No longer are you representing some city you were hired to play in, but you are representing your country. There is much more pride and passion involved with the players and especially the fans. During the 2002 cup i recorded every game and watched it the next day. When the US played, i stayed up until 3 or 4 in the morning to watch them. Would baseball fans be willing to do this. Probably, someone already mentioned staying up late for games on the west coast. It isn't the same level of intensity though. I am going to be an underpaid teacher soon, but I am still thinking of how i could save my money to go to the World Cup in Germany. I don't even care if i see the US play. Soccer is awesome no matter who is playing.

It isn't just the World Cup though. The European Championships, World Cup qualifying all of it is followed with a passion across the globe. Only in North America do you have players sitting out of top level international competition because it might hurt their professional career (NBA players are the most glaring example). Granted soccer players complain about the intense schedule international competition puts them through, but they still do it. Baseball is hurt even more because the Major League season coincides with most international dates. I really wish the U.S. would have qualified for the olympics because i would have liked to see Roger clemens pitch in them. Perhaps it would have started a new trend.

Reason #4 The lack of scoring

Stop complaining. If soccer games were 12-10 it would make the goals less exciting and break up the flow of a game more. The low scoring makes it more intense. Go ask people in the Pacific if it is exciting when Australia or New Zealand destroy tiny island nations 45-1. (I couldn't find the actual numbers again, but in 2002 WC qualifying Australia and New Zealand both had games like this.) It is the same in baseball. Homeruns no longer impress me, especially in Colorado. Give me a 2-1 pitchers duel with the pitchers going nine (no time taken to change pitchers) and i will be happy.

Reason #5 Penalty shootouts

Most people hate them. I love them. They only come during single elimination games so they don't happen often, which makes them that much cooler. The amount of drama in a penalty shootout is mind boggling. I have played in intramural games where everything was chilled and relaxed, but then they went to penalties and the mood of everyone changes. The amount of pressure the two people involved with every try is incredible. As the goalkeeper, the only thing keeping you from going insane is knowing most people just flat out miss the goal because they can't control their own emotion. But if you actually manage to stop a shot, there is no more euphoric moment. And i have only been involved in shootouts for intramural games. Just imagine what it is like in the World Cup. This is one reason why international hockey rules. I still get goose bumps when i think back to watching Canada and Sweden deciding the gold medal in a shootout in the olympics.

Unfortunately, you can't mimic this in baseball. The only conceivable way would be after 12 innings the two teams pick their best pitcher and three or five best batters to face off in a home run derby. We'll just have to stick with extra innings, which are pretty intense during the playoffs (the only time they should be played!).

Reason #6 It is an absolute pleasure to play

It is my experience that when people actually play soccer by the rules they enjoy it. It is the jerks who just bitch and moan so they pick up the ball and run with it who ruin it for so many others. If they would just stop and figure out the rules and realize it is ok to use their feet they come to enjoy it.

This last semester i was in a begining soccer class with all sorts of levels of skill. When the class first began there were quite a few guys who thought they were too cool to play soccer. By the end of the semester they were the ones who seem to enjoy the class the most. One even told me wished he had started playing soccer at a younger age, because now he realizes how much fun it is to play.

Reason #7 It can be played anywhere

This is actually true for both. An aspect of them can be done virtually anywhere. However if you want to play a game it will be much easier to modify the size of the field for soccer. Also, if you go outside of baseball country it would be much easier to get people to play soccer than baseball. If you had to play a game with an indigenous tribe of wherever, which game would you rather try to teach and explain, especially if you speak different languages?

Reason #whatever It has simple strategy, but creativity and complexness to boot.

Both games are fairly simple at the base level. Outscore the opponent. To become proficient in both is also fairly simple. To become excellent though they are both extremely complex. They both have loads of strategy involved. Much of it is similar. What formation do you use.? Do you start this person to counter this aspect of the opponent? How do you use your subs effectively? All of the managerial stuff is quite similar. Baseball has perhaps more complex strategy, but much of it seems to be set. Situation A occurs so you react by pitching this way or whatever. In soccer, there is only half time to really communicate to the players broad strategic changes. Everything else is happening on the fly, and there still is no set ways of dealing with most situations. It is up to the players to recognize the situations and to decide how they will react to it. This leads to much more creativity in soccer than baseball. Everything tells a player he should pass back to his support, but instead he does an amazing move, with his feet, and all of a sudden he is streaking for a goal or in a position to pass to someone wide open. Of course if this doesn't work out it can be incredibly frustrating because you have caused a turnover, but at least the option for the creativity is there. In baseball it is only the infielders who really have any thing close to this.

There are many more reasons why I love soccer over baseball but i will only list one more.

Reason #something Girls who play soccer vs. girls who play softball

Softball is fun and i enjoy the summer league i am in, but girls just seem to ruin it. The most annoying part is the cheers they do. Shut UP!!!! I have never been to a girls soccer game where the team began chanting. They play the exact same game with the exact same size ball and field. One of the few sports where this is the case. Girls who play soccer are simply awesome. Maybe it is just my love of soccer, but if I meet a girl who plays it, my attraction to her goes up. This doesn't happen when i meet a girl who plays softball. Instead of trying to get a women's league going in the U.S. i think MLS should try allowing girls into the league. I think they could hold their own.

This last one is totally me, but the others are pretty sound arguments to me. I am sorry if any of this seems choppy or incoherent. I had a lot of things i wanted to say and they all were swishing around in my head at the same time. I just hope i didn't leave any big important things out.

My final verdict Baseball a game i am coming to understand more everyday, but too many things that annoy me. Soccer a game i have played since i was 5 or 6 and am still trying to figure out the nuances, and only has the Italians and the Brazilians that really annoy me.

seriously, sorry the last post was so long. i am still in essay writing mode from the past couple weeks of school.

just wanted to mention one more thing to show how much i like soccer more over baseball.
Last week i got stabbed in the upper hip with a steak knife, how is a whole other story, but i had my soccer class in a half hour. Did i go get stitches like i should have done. NO!!! I just wiped it down with some bactine, applied pressure long enough to stop the bleeding, put a band aid on it, and went to class. Would i have done that for a baseball game. I don't know how many people would have done it for a soccer game either, but i bet it would be more than baseball.

Okay, here's the deal:

These ball games (we'll call them "mob" sports) can be reduced to an offensive team moving a ball (puck) from one end of the playing surface to the other and into a goal area, while a defensive team tries to stop it:

Soccer "football"
Grid-Iron football
All rugby-like games (rugby, both types of Aussie football, Gaelic football...)
Hockey
Hurley
Lacrosse
Basketball
Polo
Water polo
Netball...

You get the idea.

These ball games (we'll call them "pong" sports) can be reduced to making a ball fly over a net or other demarcation line from one player or team toward another, with points being awarded for defeating the return of the ball:

Tennis
Badminton
Jai-Alai
Squash
Handball
Volleyball...

You get the idea.

Baseball cannot be so easily reduced as these other, more stupid sports. Baseball is not utterly unique, in that it shares some traits with Cricket and Rounders, but it is more subtle and more involved than either.

I'm not saying that baseball is better than soccer. I'm convinced that baseball is the best team game there is. Moment-by-moment tension between a constantly-shifting pair of two players (those concerned with the immediate play) which is orchestrated in a larger strategy like chess, over the course of a long series of games which allows small differentials to gradually mount into momentum.

Baseball is so much better than other sports it isn't fair to call it a sport. I call it a game most of the time.

Baseball is so much better than other sports it isn't fair to call it a sport. I call it a game most of the time.

yes

it's also a little misleading to call it a sport b/c, unlike most sports, you don't have to be an athlete to play it

i mean, you have to be coordinated. and being athletic will help. a lot. but you don't have to be athletic in the strictest sense of the word. you simply have to acquire a set of skills, or some subset of those skills, to compete. without these skills, the fastest, strongest guy in the world will be hopeless as a baseball player.

this is a great thread!

i think there's been some great arguments...

football wins it for me, hands down (but then i'm from europe!).

i don't know if this is correct, but i imagine that if you guys (baseball lovers) watched european football (specifically the Champions League-the best club teams in europe in a cup competition) rather than MLS you'd have a better view of it as a sport!

MLS is way better than it was, but still not anything like the World Cup!

and the low scoring thing: it makes goals even more precious! also, i think that to equate football to a simpsons parody is a bit misleading: most games do not involve senseless passing between defenders. certainly not for 3 hours!

anyway, i'm fully aware i don't have any arguments. i just want to express my love of the beautiful game.

Either way you look at it, the Cubs still won't win this year

But, will it be the White Sox or the Twinkies in the central?

I'd kill my mother to look like Carl Pavano, A-Rod, Derek Jeter, Tim Hudson, Troy Glaus, Richie Sexson or Kyle Farnsworth for a day.

Those guys are some handsome sons of bitches. I cannot imagine what kind of consistent wool they pull.

This pulling of wool, I've never heard of this before, but I don't think I am interested in doing it.

I would, however, try it out if I could be LaTroy Hawkins, Kerry Wood, or Moises Alou for a day.

Hawkins, so I could be 6'5" and black.

Wood, so I could be 6'5", albeit white with terrible taste, but I could stand it if I could strike out twenty.

Alou, just so I could have rock hands encrusted in dried piss.