Marsupialized wrote:Well, when I was a young one I had these neighbor kids, 3 brothers.
We hung out so much that we were all like brothers really, all day every day. We were as tight as friends could be. Their father got shot and killed when we were very young and my family kinda pitched in and was helping to raise them as there were 3 sisters as well on top of the 3 crazy brothers for the now single barely speaks English mom to have to worry about...
''Never talked to them again, was a full on cold war between the two households after that...

Well then your parents were actually done a favor, they didn't have to do shit for those people anymore right? Maybe they knew in their hearts you didn't push the kid but they wanted to believe it so they wouldn't have to confront the fact that they were sick and fucking tired of helping that foreign lady and her 6 rugrats.

At least I'd imagine that's the way you might think about the situation if it didn't involve yourself.

Rachi wrote:I thought our dog had a secret life when I went to school.

That's one of the cutest things I've ever heard.

trilonaut wrote:

Marsupialized wrote:peed from butts is a decent emo band name

maybe the only time marsupialized has actually been funny

Wrong.

I thought my testicles were sperm. It was then I vowed to never get anyone pregnant.

When I was 5 I was hit by a car. When I woke up in the hospital I heard a doctor telling my parents I had a fractured pelvis; When you're 5 pelvis sounds a lot like penis. Needless to say I was too terrified to ask what that meant for my future dick.

I also thought the existence of other plants, especially Mars, was strictly sci-fi and refused to accept it for a long time.

beckertronix wrote:I thought my testicles were sperm. It was then I vowed to never get anyone pregnant.

Somebody once told me he knew a kid--and when stories start like this, they're probably apocryphal, but anyway--this kid apparently thought the number of testicles you have equaled the number of kids you'd have. Like if a guy had five kids, that meant he had five balls.

My older brother is 18 years older than me, I'm the youngest of 6 kids.

Probably because of this I thought my older brother was just some dude that lived at our house.

I used to think that the Earth's magnetic field was what caused wire hangers in my closet to get all tangled up.

In 2nd grade while eating lunch in the lunchroom, I started randomly waving my middle finger around. Everyone was gasping and tattling and I had no idea what I was doing wrong. I found out what a middle finger meant that day.

In 3rd grade, I called a teacher a jackoff without knowing what the word meant. I learned what a jackoff was that day.

In 5th grade, I called a girl in my class a whore without knowing what that word meant. I learned what a whore was that day.

All of these events took place in the days of corporal punishment.

I guess you like learning things the hard way.

For some reason I used to think the Beatles were around during World War 2 (maybe because of the uniforms on 'Sgt. Peppers'?). This was probably before I was five.