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Lonesome Bulldog wrote:I've seen them sold as a cheap pocket pussy. There's no way a real man could fit his dick in there though.

They are surprisingly elastic.

Hey I didn't say that, fix them quotes. I am a real man and I have fit my dick in there.
I was like 12, but still got it right in there.

I suppose I can tell the story. I had a friend, the only reason I was friends with him was because I was absolutely and completely in full on raging stalker love with his older sister. They had a pool as well. To this day she appears quite often in my wank minds eye. She had ENORMOUS breasts. Like, absolutely ridiculous breasts and a kick ass rest of a body to go with them. She'd swim in a bikini all summer and I had a direct view from my bedroom window. I was right at the age where the sight of such things will make you come completely unhinged. Completely unhinged. I am not proud to say this but I would steal her underwear, seriously. That's how fucked up in the head this woman made me.
She was maybe 5 years older, and quite a slutty drunken drugged out fuck up I come to learn.

Well, I was obviously in love with her and she knew it so she'd fuck with me all the time. Big lingering hugs, making me give her backrubs and whatnot, walking around in her underwear. She knew it was absolute torture. I was just a mess, but I could not resist. I basically lived at their house. When I'd stay over I'd stay awake all night till she got home just to catch the 3 second glimpse of her walking past to go to her room.

Well one day I learn the whole family except her are going to Kentucky, where they were from to visit family. Of course I stop over that night pretending I didn't know and nobody is there except her and like 3 of her friends. They are completely fucked up drunk and whatever else. She brought me inside and these three chicks proceeded to torture and degrade me all night for their amusement. The shining moment was when I was made to, yes...have sex with the water weenie in front of these chicks while they laughed and pointed and slapped me in the ass and whatever. They kicked me out eventually and I went home. As twisted as it sounds that memory is a very enjoyable one for me. I am sure it did some serious psychosexual damage to me and set me up for a life of weird sexual experiences but hey, at the time I was really enjoying myself. We both acted like it never happened after that, honestly she may not have even remembered it. She went into the Navy, got kicked out and became a stripper eventually.

Wow, EA I have never told anyone that story. I have never even told my wife that story.
We are making real progress here.

beautiful.


there's an outside chance i might pay you money to be your therapist.

doppelbänger

DrAwkward wrote:What are you on about? Those guys are obviously straight. That watermelon has two holes near each other, so i can only assume it's female.

And the seeds will turn into babies!

I do not want to know if those guys ate the watermelon afterward. probably did. Barfff.

jimmy spako wrote:think of the consequences if real feelings are involved.

for instance, what will your honeydew if your parents don't approve & you can't elope?

Terribly sorry, I FYP.

tarandfeathers wrote:

jimmy spako wrote:think of the consequences if real feelings are involved.

for instance, what will your honeydew if your parents don't approve & you can't elope?

Terribly sorry, I FYP.

missed one, sherlock.

Jesus, I am slow tonight. Maybe I should go to bed after all.

I am...I am feeling things I have never felt before...