Chris Hardings wrote:Kenny -

You wake up with a carbon copy of a contract, which includes being the session harpist for Yanni for the next 3 years, with your signature on the bottom.

jb: You wake up with a carbon copy of a contract, which includes being the session harpist (harmonica) for Buddy Guy for the next 3 years, with your signature on the bottom.

jw: You wake up with a carbon copy of a contract, which includes being the on-call man-whore for Yanni for the next 3 years, with his signature on your bottom.


KENosha, WI:

Having fairly serious deadlines that cannot be taken seriously due to the fact that they are months and months away, and involve a logistical architecture of decision-making that you haven't even come close to starting to map out.

Chris Hardings wrote:You wake up with a carbon copy of a contract, which includes being the session harpist for Yanni for the next 3 years, with your signature on the bottom.

Just Better: Waking up with Werner Klemperer after a seventy-two hour ecstacy-fueled free love binge that was videotaped by Bob Crane.
Just Worse: Despite your extensive training, an outstanding portfolio of work and the glowing recommendations of well-placed people in the business, you narrowly miss out on the coveted position of tour hairstylist for the European leg of Depeche Mode's 1986 "Black Celebration" tour.

Kenny: Professional athletes who have their children with them during interviews.

Mr. Chimp wrote:KENosha, WI:

Having fairly serious deadlines that cannot be taken seriously due to the fact that they are months and months away, and involve a logistical architecture of decision-making that you haven't even come close to starting to map out.

JB : having no deadlines because you won the motherfreakin' powerball.

JW : having very serious deadlines that have crossed the event horizon... to make these deadlines you must either start working full-time on the project about a month ago, or work an extra month's worth of work in the next month or two. sucker!

kenny : q.v. all them unrequited kennies floatin around

jupiter wrote:Kent Brockman: You are out with your girlfriend, and have decided tonight is the night you are going to break it off with her. You are about to tell her when suddenly your ex appears out of nowhere and beats the living shit out of her, putting her in the hospital.

Ha, Ha! Arson Smith is funny! Salut! These are the unloved Kennies, Signore Weissenberger doth spaketh of. Above is also an unloved kenny.

kerble wrote:Release the KraKen!:
Having the lifelong bit of inking regret about being bad in the sack that one time with that one really gorgeous and charming person oh so many years ago.

Take these BroKen wings:
"Turkish Revenge," which is when someone runs up behind you, stabs you in the ass and runs away a la Randy Quaid in Midnight Express.

Faiz

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:
Kenny: Professional athletes who have their children with them during interviews.

just better: professional athletes who have their pyschotic parrot on their shoulder during interviews

just worse: fudge that's good but seems too sugary


kenny: yr small pet dog becomes obsessed with a bone that he doesn't really ever chew on just always carries around. he is convinced that everyone (but specifically you) wants to take the bone from him and attempts to seem ferocious whenever you come w/ in twenty feet of him and said bone. however his growl sounds more like an asthmatic tantaun then a scary dog.

the Classical wrote:kenny: yr small pet dog becomes obsessed with a bone that he doesn't really ever chew on just always carries around. he is convinced that everyone (but specifically you) wants to take the bone from him and attempts to seem ferocious whenever you come w/ in twenty feet of him and said bone. however his growl sounds more like an asthmatic tantaun then a scary dog.

JB: Your ex-girlfriend exhibits the same responses while carrying around Van Morrison's "Moondance."

JW: The bone is actually a human hand! Aaaarrooooooo! Scary stuff!



Ken-knee:

Living in a state where fireworks are fucking illegal. (like Maine)

Ken-knee:

Living in a state where fireworks are fucking illegal. (like Maine)

JB : living in a state where fireworks are fucking illegal (like illinois)

JW : living in a state where fireworks are legal, but it is against the law for people to convene in groups of more than three

"your name's buuuuud". "my name's kenny." "your name's buuuuud". "my name's kenny!"

doing laundry

toomanyhelicopters wrote:..."my name's kenny!": doing laundry

(from the perspective of washer & dryer owning homeowner)

just better = Campbell's Beef Noodle Soup

just worse = relatives stay at your house over a long holiday weekend, you appreciate that they pitched in by washing the dishes before they left, but as you go to put the dishes away you notice that they aren't as clean as you normally get them, so you wind up rewashing everything


Please, kenny:
- you are a heterosexual male, not effeminate in any way, and have developed an affinity for pink shirts, so much so that you have gotten to the point where you will only wear pink shirts

Please, kenny:
- you are a heterosexual male, not effeminate in any way, and have developed an affinity for pink shirts, so much so that you have gotten to the point where you will only wear pink shirts

JB: Having a friend (as I actually do) who fits this description perfectly.
JW: Realizing that the people who provide the commentary for the shows "I Love The 80s", "I Love The 70s", "Maxim's Hot 100", "Awesomely Bad Videos", etc. are probably getting paid a fair amount of money for it.

Kenny: Afro Ken
http://www.dreamkitty.com/afroken.html

Angus Jung wrote:Kenny: Afro Ken
http://www.dreamkitty.com/afroken.html

JB:
http://www.mrwinkle.com/index1.htm
JW:
http://www.doggles.com


Kenny:
The touch, the feel of Cotton.



Or some of those unwashed kennies up above us.
Faiz