alex maiolo wrote:Hands down, Walking In Memphis, by Mark Cohen.
It is a sentimental, precious, utter piece of shit.
The piano riff, if you listen, is just Heart and Soul.
So we're off to a bad start...
Then we hear about this guy who flys to the "land of blues," and talks bout Beale St. like it's anything but a tourist trap.
It's spiritual.
He name checks Elvis, some household name blues guys, and blue suede shoes. I think he says something about cornbread or soul food too.
The thing is, this song *has* no soul. None. It's just pap designed to make housewives dig on this so-called romantic image. It's like writing a song for little girls called "The Day The Kitty Cats Played Dress Up In Rainbow Pony Land."
I come across it far too often. I never listen to the radio, but I hear it a few times a year just walking into the wrong store at the wrong time. It makes my stomach hurt.
How this can be called "music," other than in the clinical sense (it is played on instruments and follows a song structure) is beyond me.
This guy *wishes* he were as good as Barenaked Ladies.
Yes, it's that bad.
And it sold a squillion copies.
I WIN.
-A
Alex wins, sure enough.
for 2nd place though, I nominate that fuckin' jittery, too peppy and bouncy "Life Is A Highway (I wanna ride it all night long)" song - fuck man, some people probably think that is ROCK-N-ROLL. ARGH!
maybe for 3rd all time shitbeast song I'd choose that "HEY UMM MUM MUM A WAY HEY WY HEAAY... LIFE IN A NORTHERN TOWN" dreary piece of filth.
4th place: that god-damned never-ending chorus fuckstain "SAY IT LOOOOUD... SAY IT CLEEEEAR....." - fucking Mike & The Mechanics, is it? Stick your spanners up your arse, sideways, please.
Marsupialized, you are in the ballpark, but I have to put those four above as absolutely worse - those four are liable to make me snap off someone's car radio knob, 'cause I try to change the station so fast.
"Jeez, chill - there'll be a different song on in a few minutes..."
"NO, FUCK YOU." <click>
(Barenaked Ladies tune can be 5th in my book perhaps.)
#6 then might be any rendition of "Give me the beat boys and free my soul...." FUCK THAT SONG AND FUCK RADIO ALL RADIO STATIONS WHO PERPETUATE ANY OF THESE SHTTING IN MY EAR OR PIPED IN AT THE GROCERY STORE OR ELEVATOR OR ANYWHERE.
FUCK.