One of my Girlfriends best friends died yesterday in a car crash in Baltimore. Really sweet girl. She was in the middle of starting a business (clothing design house) and really setting her life off in a great direction. I've met this girl a handful of times (in fact the first night my Girlfriend and I ever spent together was in her house after some fun times out in the city.) This sucks big time. There is never a too early to die (at least I hope there isn't), but 30 most certainly is.

As depressed as I am about the whole thing - what's extremely difficult is seeing Stephanie (girlfriend) in such pain. Watching a loved one loose a loved one is excruciating.

DasWiso wrote:One of my Girlfriends best friends died yesterday in a car crash in Baltimore. Really sweet girl. She was in the middle of starting a business (clothing design house) and really setting her life off in a great direction. I've met this girl a handful of times (in fact the first night my Girlfriend and I ever spent together was in her house after some fun times out in the city.) This sucks big time. There is never a too early to die (at least I hope there isn't), but 30 most certainly is.

As depressed as I am about the whole thing - what's extremely difficult is seeing Stephanie (girlfriend) in such pain. Watching a loved one loose a loved one is excruciating.

You have my sympathies. That is excruciating. You just being there is bound to be good for her. Stay strong.

I was supposed to sing a Born Against cover tonight. Show got cancelled. Kind of bummed. Nowhere nearly as bad anything else mentioned in this thread.

DM wrote:I am 31 years old and this will be the first time in my life I will be living by myself.

Sorry man, but hey I'm 32 and I can't stop wondering whether I've wasted my entire life, and that it's too late to catch up now. So basically you've got a year left before you're as crappy as me.

STF wrote:...I had been involved with a co-worker....The co-worker decided she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. It was very awkward at work. It was a huge mistake, the whole thing.

Brother I had the same thing happen, once we weren't a dirty secret anymore the magic was gone and I was like "fuck why did I just destroy my whole life for this chick?"

STF wrote:I go home every night and itch and watch broadcast TV until it's time to take an Ambien and try and sleep.

I know this is gonna sound like elitist hippie jive, but my life definitely changed once I gave up television. All the shallowness and empty promises were triggers for my depression. No matter how much I stared at that box, nobody stepped out of the screen to keep me company. Once I moved to a place with no cable I started watching movies I actually chose to see, and generally did stuff that didn't involve sitting still for long periods of time. Anyway getting off the tube won't solve your problems but it won't make them worse either. My tuppence worth.

indeed, fuck a bunch of television.

read a book and/or listen to music and you'll probly feel at least a little better straight away.

this helped me push down my depression and PD noticeably the very week i started doing it back in '94.

i still have plenty of shit bringing me down, it never fucking ends...but there's also alot of good in my life that kinda counterbalances it all.

(he said after a half hour long crying jag)

Boombats wrote:I know this is gonna sound like elitist hippie jive, but my life definitely changed once I gave up television. All the shallowness and empty promises were triggers for my depression. No matter how much I stared at that box, nobody stepped out of the screen to keep me company. Once I moved to a place with no cable I started watching movies I actually chose to see, and generally did stuff that didn't involve sitting still for long periods of time. Anyway getting off the tube won't solve your problems but it won't make them worse either. My tuppence worth.

There it is.

DM wrote:(cue music for self pity party)

I am moving tomorrow. The divorce will be finalized in about a month. We had the inevitable sit down with my five year old daughter and used the metaphor of when friends don't get along sometimes it's best if they don't play together for awhile and keep their respective personal space and distance. She said she was sad about it but, I explained to her that I will be quite close to the house that she will share with mommy if she ever needs anything she could call me anytime, she seemed happy about that. I am 31 years old and this will be the first time in my life I will be living by myself. I can see myself slipping into a bottle of whiskey and disappearing (although I do have the presence of mind not to). I have been haggling with the fucking utility company all day trying to get the utilities turned on. I fucking hate dealing these fucking pricks. Hopefully (fingers and eyes crossed) I won't have to go too long in a cold dark apartment (it definitely won't be good for my mental state). I have kept all this under my hat from a lot of friends because, I am not a fan of pity or drama. If they ask I will tell them. It's almost like I am living a shameful secret. I am inconsolable right about now and am trying really hard not to release my anger in a violent fashion. I am sure that it will all work out for the better but, today I can't see past my nose to the light ahead through these red angry eyes.

You are breaking my fucking heart, DM. Allow yourself a bit of the whiskey, but not too much. Focus on and love your daughter. Just get wrapped up in her right now and force the bitterness out of your heart, as it leads you nowhere. Where you are right now is just temporary, remember that. Be really nice to yourself.

my manager gave me an extra day off because he felt I needed a break this week. well, I've been feeling pretty down. I got drunk a couple days, and I've been at home all day off, and on thinking about this girl that was murdered a few days ago right around lunch time. a 21 year old UW student, coming home from class, walked into her place, and was stabbed to death. they still haven't found the suspect. this news really left me feeling empty, and feeling like shit.

it then occurred to me that I probably take my life for granted every day, not intentionally, maybe I do... I mean what's living really? getting out side every day; going for a run, dining out, getting drunk with friends, having a good job? is that more living than having a few days off from a shitty job and being lazy? so I started to clean my place feeling unproductive, felt a little better, but I guess that's what freaks me out is how quickly it could all just end, not feeling full-filled. for some reason I've been thinking about it more often than I have before, and it's really getting to me.

not much more to say about that I guess, just a bit uneasy when rack my brain with those thoughts. maybe it's a quarter life thing.

I got my tax return today, so I'll finally be able to get out of debt, but then I walked out to move my car and found a ticket on it, I guess hadn't moved it in 48 hours. that frustrated me a little bit, because I swore I had only been there for a day, and I thought I was wiping off the chalk marks on my tires. maybe they got smarter than me.

I need new scenery, I'm sick of seeing shitty college houses, and business, and buildings every where I go. maybe I need to start thinking about moving, and ask myself what it has to offer me anymore...

My uncle died Last week, my car broke down three weeks ago, my ipod broke and Basically the first girl I've ever dated(and I'm 25 mind you) told me after a month that I'm too sad and mopey and she is tired of dating boys like that so that's over. I'm Half sad Half motivated. Sad because she was beautiful smart and funny, just generaly a joy to be around, I'm happy because at least now I can work on not being sad and mopey I guess I know what's been keeping girls away all this time.

I feel like a right self-pitying chump now, having posted my rant last night. So many people here have so many infinitely bigger and harder things to deal with... it put things in perspective for me - which is in itself selfish and obviously of no hope to anyone else - but "thanks", in some strange way.

Man, those are some sad stories... good luck with the future people, I sincerely hope you find ways out of your situations.

simmo wrote: I sincerely hope you find ways out of your situations.

I want so badly to make a joke about your girlfriend's feet. Would that cheer everyone up? Because I'll do it.