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1) Clinical Psychologist. My own practice, helping the kind of people I've known my whole life who never got any sort of psychological aid for one reason or another...some could have/still use it, quite frankly.

2) Respected novelist. If I could ever finish any project I have going...I want not fame but recognition. I'll do my thing and I just want people to recognize I'm doing something, whether it is good or bad or they're completely indifferent about the whole spiel. Make enough money to live in a decent place and have a big library.

3) Stand-up comic. Really, my whole life, I have always wanted to be a comedian of some sort. I tried, two open mics. The first one was like a dream. I was funny, people were going wild, stood up when my ten minutes were up. I think I started with a joke about wiping your ass. No shit...the next week, the crowd was volatile, vicious, and there was no reaction except a solitary "boo" from the bar. I got so rattled, I quit...at least for a little while. When I met Louis CK, he told me "don't be a comic you fuck!" and put his hands on both sides of my face as he shook my head.

1) Respected music writer. I know most people here find this job a retarded/worthless one, but hear me out. I love learning about bands, their music, what they like about being in a band, how they feel about their art, all that nonsense. As I sit here I have The John Baker Tapes Vol. 1 (BBC Radiophonics guy, his archives are being released by Jonny Trunk), Mars' LP/The Complete Studio Recordings, and Chris Herbert's Mezzotint staring me in the face and I'd love it if I was getting paid to write about these albums. And I wouldn't be a convoluted tit about it either (re: Simon Reynolds, Pitchfork-types). This would also be the best excuse for me to justify my ever-growing music collection.

2) Something in academia that's interesting. The problem with this idea is that I don't know what it is I'd find interesting enough to write a dissertation on to get a master's, let alone get a PhD in. I'm honestly scared by how daunting it all is and I'm a pansy-ass in that regard. I also think that I'm not cut for the stuff that is going to conferences, being a teacher, dealing with those with an ivory tower complex, and all that shit, for that matter.

International location scout for movies

I can't believe no one said underwear researcher.

I changed my mind. I want to be a Helicopter Pilot.

I'm actually considering how hard this would be, and the cost of training.

MrFood wrote:Too bad they're all douchebags.

I've only met, in my life, seriously, one non-douchebag tattoo artist. Self-important fucking frat assholes.

Piasek wrote:porn star

changed my mind. now i wanna be a pope.

Right now I train horses but most of my money comes from maintaining them for people. Still, I'm pretty happy most of the time. This is what I want to be involved in one way or another.

I'd like to own a barn and work for myself--that would be picturesque. I like doing things my own way.

If I had the extra funds, I'd buy unwanted horses, retrain and resell them. Might start doing this on a small scale.

That's what seems plausible in the near future, anyway.
Otherwise: animal cop or FBI agent.

Wildly successful novelist whose books are routinely turned into crap movies for absurd amounts of money. That would lead to my second dream job, millionaire fuck-off.

Test rider for HRC or ranch manager in New Mexico, Alaska, Montana, or Wyoming.