I can't stop fucking shaking. My whole body is vibrating. I can't play my bass at all. Tried my Clonazepam but it's not working. Tried meditating but it didn't work either. Don't know what to do. I know this is a bad one but I'm not sure why now. Could be because I just tried to use my RE20 and I get no signal. Freaked me out. My favourite mic. Can't stop thinking dark thoughts. Trying not to cry but it's all i feel. Came here to interact with people who get it. Sorry for the bitching. Love you all.

Can you talk to someone around, at least on the phone, a trusted person, professional or otherwise? Hang in there, man, we're here for you. Try to get in some situation where you can breath and watch/feel it pass best as possible.I don't get straight up panic attacks much anymore, but I get recurring negative ideation that takes me to real dark places. It is tough to reach out on that when you don't want to scare anyone.

It's okay, man. I get these moods where it feels like I want to tear my skin off and knock out my teeth because they don't feel right. It's nuts. I rarely can figure out a 'why' for those times. I do know that guitar and gear stuff is often a bad combination as nothing seems to sound or feel right. Some months ago I was really intent on just throwing my guitar out the window until I realized, hey, it's probably anxiety bullshit again. I get dark thoughts. I try to just realize that they are symptoms of a disorder/illness/whatever and not really a manifestation of what I want. I can manage that with anxiety most of the time. With depression, the distinction can be harder to form in the moment. Still, I find it a helpful mindset.

jimmy spako wrote:Can you talk to someone around, at least on the phone, a trusted person, professional or otherwise? Hang in there, man, we're here for you. Try to get in some situation where you can breath and watch/feel it pass best as possible.I don't get straight up panic attacks much anymore, but I get recurring negative ideation that takes me to real dark places. It is tough to reach out on that when you don't want to scare anyone.That's the thing - I have a lot of support, from my wife to my therapist to my doctor to the crisis line. I've used them all, with much success. This week has just been weird. I start the day shaking and it doesn't stop. If I don't go real slow with every aspect of my life it turns into an attack and I spiral. I don't know why this week has been so bad. Today is the first day that I'm not shaking and I don't feel my emotions teetering on the brink. Various professionals have told me this would happen, often during times when I feel quite good. It's like my body and brain don't understand how to handle me feeling happy and send out fight or flight signals. For a long time I haven't wanted to believe I have the stupid PTSD shit, but apparently this is just how it sometimes manifests. I've made a lot a progress and I have to keep thinking positive and try to ride the storms.

I'm with you, brother. I'm kind of happier/luckier/kinder than ever and have still had the worst "everybody would just be better off without me" phases of recent years, maybe for that very reason, as you write. T. Midyett touched on that as regards anxiety and dread way back at the beginning of this thread, helpfully, I've kept it in mind all these years. I'm glad you're coming out of it some. Keep breathing, it'll pass. It's scary feeling that it can rear its head at any time, even the good times. I don't have a solution for that I'm afraid.

My heart goes out to you, Frank Decent. I don't have any advice except to, when all else fails, endure.

If you've been prescribed meds, take them. They're one of the pillars any recovery is built upon, certainly in the early going.

CBD oil thread.I was going to try it myself but the local 'health food' shop was giving it a big push with a window display that just reeked of fad, and the expensive kind.

Fellow brothers and sisters in anxiety, for about a year now, my anxiety has returned with a vigour and intensity I have never known before. 12 months ago I was in the best shape of my life, after returning to the gym and eating like a Hindu wrestler. And then, from seemingly nowhere, I began slipping back into a funk that I thought I'd shrugged off in my early 20s, and I slipped right off that wagon. I'm struggling to keep this in check now - I don't really go out any more, I walk around with a fogged up head seemingly all the time, and I just can't remember the last time I felt 'normal'. I've been sat on a prescription for anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds for several months. I can't bring myself to take them. I feel like I haven't exhausted alternatives enough to consider pulling the trigger on them, and it doesn't help that it feels like my doctor prescribed them off the bat without much more than a few box ticks. I'm going to start meditating in earnest - I've tried it in the past, but I don't think I've stuck with it long enough to feel like it's worked. But I'm also interested in CBD oil, which friends swear by, and I keep reading intriguing anecdotal accounts of. Does anyone here any any experience of using it to treat anxiety?Yours, in clammy shakiness, RIII

VaticanShotglass wrote:I keep thinking of asking about finishing my degreeOf course I'm being an armchair psychologist here, but that sounds like running back to the cliff at full speed: I would wait until life has more semblance of normalcy - although it sounds like you're getting there, slowly - and THEN start thinking about taking on a gargantuan task like that. Like I said in a previous post: "baby steps".