procuring a giant Teddy Ruxpin for his rumpus room.

Mr. Danzig is currently attempting to mic the elephant that sits in the middle of his living room.
He is currently yelling at me, wondering why the "Fucking Elephant keeps eating the Fucking microphones"

Taking a personality test in Cosmo and confirming what he already suspected: he is an enabler.

MOTHER! fucker.

Auditioning for Mini-Kiss.

He's on gabbly, waiting to kill you and eat your soul.

Talking to his lawyers about that Red Hot Chili Peppers video... and wondering why he didn't patent his Misfits hairdo...

Playing golf and trying to do a all-in-one.

Having discussions with Disney about a possible Samhain2.0 franchise

Checking his e-mail for a forwarded "chuck norris/vin diesel/mr t/jack baur" style list of facts about himself.

Watching "dogs in a bathtub" video in endless loop and munching on family-size bag of Cheetos...

Days later, having forgetten doing this, will schedule doctor's appointment to discuss concerns about strange discoloration in genital region.