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A friend just sent this to me:Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, œEdna, I have good news and bad news.The good news is you re being discharged since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.The bad news is Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he s dead. ....................................Edna replied, œHe didn t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?

x\_x

Found this in the Guardian comments today:Two Keynesian economists, John Maynard Keynes and Paul Krugman, were walking down the street one day when they passed two large piles of dog shit.Keynes said to Krugman, "I'll pay you $20,000 to eat one of those piles of shit." Krugman agrees and chooses one of the piles and eats it. Keynes pays him his $20,000.Then Krugman, feeling richer, says, "I'll pay you $20,000 to eat the other pile of shit." Keynes, feeling bad about the money he lost says okay, and eats the shit. Krugman pays him the $20,000.They resume walking down the street.After a while, Krugman says, "You know, I don't feel very good. We both have the same amount of money as when we started. The only difference is we've both eaten shit."Keynes says: "Ah, but you're ignoring the fact that we've increased the GDP by $40,000."

Q: What was the name of the richest man in Rome?A: Quintilion.

A man stumbles upon a lamp and a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes. Man: œFor my first wish I'd like to be rich. Genie: œAlright Rich, what's your second wish.

That will still be considered as a blonde joke, right?

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk if they have any duck foodThe clerk responds no, it's a bookstoreThe duck comes back in the next day and asks the clerk if they have any duck foodThe clerk responds no, it's a bookstore. They wouldn't have any duck foodThe duck comes back in the next day and asks the clerk if they have any duck foodThe clerk says no, it's a bookstore, and if the duck asks again he'll nail his flat feet to the floorThe duck comes back in and asks the clerk if they have any nailsThe clerk says no, it's a bookstore, not a hardware storeThe duck says Good. Got any duck food?

The MayorofRockNRoll wrote:A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk if they have any duck foodThe clerk responds no, it's a bookstoreThe duck comes back in the next day and asks the clerk if they have any duck foodThe clerk responds no, it's a bookstore. They wouldn't have any duck foodThe duck comes back in the next day and asks the clerk if they have any duck foodThe clerk says no, it's a bookstore, and if the duck asks again he'll nail his flat feet to the floorThe duck comes back in and asks the clerk if they have any nailsThe clerk says no, it's a bookstore, not a hardware storeThe duck says Good. Got any duck food?This is my new favorite joke.

Hanson are far too ponderous when playing Whac-a-mole