A little girl was sitting on the edge of a cliff bawling her eyes out, when all of a sudden an old man comes walking along. Intrigued by this crying girl, he approaches her. "My dear, what's wrong?", says the man.

The little girl, fighting back tears, explains how her parents have just died in a car crash and she's all alone in the world now, with no-one to take care of her.

The old man smiles and unzips his fly, "Deary me. It's just not your day, now is it?".

that damned fly wrote:stolen from bob weston:

how long does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?










i don't know i was jerking off.

You people are sick/disgusting/sick. . .











Now I have to walk around all day with this joke in my head.

Awesome.

daniel robert chapman wrote:
The blonde gets up off her bar-stool and walks seductively over to the piano, leans over in front of him and whispers in his ear, "Do you know your knob and bollocks are hanging out your trousers and dripping cum onto your shoes?"

The bloke replies, "Know it? I fucking wrote it!"

Oh my fucking god, that was hysterical.