619
by tmidgett_Archive
NewDarkAge wrote:Tim ”How do you get over heartbreak? I can t figure it out. It s been too long but it s not getting better.What's too long?My sense of loss or disappointment when I'm let down by life is almost always tied to ego.Our egos tend to be rather fragile, and a big part of heartbreak and/or disappointment is being hurt that we're not wanted in a particular instance, in a particular way. Often that we are deserving but being deprived. It helps me to remember we're animals, operating more or less on instinct more or less all the time. Every one of us. It's doubtful that we have any substantial free will. We are all guided by biological impulses and environmental influences that push pull and nudge us every which way, coming from directions and sources we sometimes barely perceive or don't even understand.Our perception is that there's some particular path we're on. Or that our lives are guided in some way. That's our experience, and we try to talk ourselves into that, certainly, many of us. But I think reality is far more chaotic and unmanaged than we experience it as being.I think I'd believe all that even if it made me uncomfortable. But for some reason I'm calmed by it. Which is nice.Certainly other people act according to whim often enough that we're our own best counsel a lot of the time. And we have to accept what other people think they want or need. It's just a basic fact of life, part of being part of humanity, and yet there's something almost noble about that acceptance, because it's pretty rare that we actually do it, when someone else's desires contradict our own.It's an act of sacrifice to accept that a path we felt we were on has to end, and we have to move down another path now, to allow someone else to follow the path they feel they must take.Bears mentioning that a lot of people are in the world. Whoever you think is your soul mate...isn't. You're compatible with a load of people, whether you've quite met them yet or not.