Let’s make if four on the floor. I encompass all colors of the rainbow. I contain multitudes of bi, gay, lesbian, and trans-gendered Peruvian chartered accountants.

Kenny:
Some stupid mandolin playing hippie who "doesn't eat meat because it stains his karma." He blatantly hits on your girlfriend and later on becomes relatively famous in his hippie rock band.

Just worse: the stupid mandolin playing hippie in the seat behind you on the greyhound bus trip from LA to New York who won't stop playing the opening lick to “Uncle John’s Bandâ€

LAD, do you realize you just Kennied for an hour and fifteen minutes? Bravo, che belli Kenni!

-gio

gio wrote:LAD, do you realize you just Kennied for an hour and fifteen minutes? Bravo, che belli Kenni!

-gio

Holy shit. I'll chalk that up to the hangover. This game fills a gap for me that computer games must for more normal people.

You are a struggling stand-up comedian in Sudbury Ontario. You are prematurely bald and drive a grey Dodge Omni. You spent the last of a small inheritance you received from a distant relative on vets bills for your girlfriend’s blind, decrepit cat just before she dumped your sorry ass. You just want to make people laugh and maybe save up enough for one of those special pairs of shoes for people like you who are born with one leg much shorter than the other. The last time you really enjoyed yourself was at a Weezer concert in Toronto, despite your shitty seats. I swear this isn't autobiographical. Fuck.

jb: You are a struggling stand-up comedian in Sandusky, Ohio. You were born hairless and drive a beige Rabbit. You took out a loan against your car (which has just been paid off) to pay the vet bills for a blind hamster owned by a girl you have a crush on who works at the local 7-11. The hamster survives. Your legs are of equal length, but through some freakish mutation, your knee joints are inverted, and your legs bend inward like an ostrich's when you walk. You have not yet realized the comedic potential of this deformity, but you are right on the cusp. The last time you really enjoyed yourself was at an REO Speedwagon concert in Dayton in '87, on their 'Life As We Know It' tour. You would like Weezer, but you just don't 'get' it, which precludes you from discussing the band with the hamster girl at the 7-Eleven, who absolutely loves them.

jw: you are no longer trying to be a stand-up comedian, and you are now the manager of a 7-Eleven.

Dead Kennydy: You girlfriend slept with Jello Biafra.

gio wrote:Dead Kennydy: You girlfriend slept with Jello Biafra.

just better: and gave him crabs when she did

just worse: you slept w/ Jello Biafra


kenny:"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"

the Classical wrote:kenny:"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"

JB: "I'm so hung like a horse."
JW: "I'm Hungarian, try an hors d'oeuvre"


Kenny: homemade chili.





Faiz

kerble wrote:Kenny: homemade chili.

JB - homemade LSD
LW - after eating your homemade chili, the ensuing anal malt

kenny - people want you to do stuff that you don't want to do

toomanyhelicopters wrote:kenny - people want you to do stuff that you don't want to do

Just Better: People want you to do stuff that you don't want to do, but they pay you a modest sum to do it and yr kind of OK with that.

Just Worse: People want you to do stuff that you don't want to do, but they pay you a modest sum to do it, but you have some smidgen of character and integrity, so you feel a little dirty and whorish.

Kenny: Frito's Cheddar Ranch Flavor Twists.

Chris G wrote:Kenny: Frito's Cheddar Ranch Flavor Twists.

Just Better: pizza-flavored Pretz

Just Worse: the breath of someone who has just consumed corn chips, or the smell of corn chips in general


Kenny: For a while, nearly every thread you post on gets no further replies. You feel like a total douche.

placeholder wrote:Kenny: For a while, nearly every thread you post on gets no further replies. You feel like a total douche.

JB - you realize this is because while you thought you were typing insightful replies on these threads, you were actually just typing "BOOYA!" every time. you correct the problem, and all is well

JW - it turns out you actually *are* a douche.

kenny - snowboarding, wakeboarding, skiing, skateboarding, skydiving, scuba diving, snorkelling, window-washing on a high-rise, and playing golf.