Mojo magazine's enclosed CD compilation, "[Red Hot] Chili Pepper's Jukebox" featuring 15 tracks selected by the band, including Gang of Four, Circle Jerks, Ohio Players, Sly/Fam. Stone, Adolescents, The Weirdos, Jameses Chance and Brown, Blonde Redhead, Slits, Descendents, Wipers, Harmonia, Zappa and Funkadelic.

jb: a mix tape containing the same songs, made for you in high school by that girl who sat in the back of math class scratching her crotch and spitting on the floor.

jw: your Mojo compilation contains an Anthony Kiedis autograph that reads, "To _____: You Rock!"

K to the Enny: You are in a long-term relationship, but your girlfriend is out of town. In a night of wild, unforseen circumstance, you are seduced by two beautiful yet devilish bicurious women, who get you shit wasted and convince you to bring them home with you. After two hours of intense drunken sexual acrobatics, the two women fall asleep in your arms, but happen to be lying directly on your left and right brachial arteries, respectively. You are awakened in the morning by the phone ringing next to your bed. A glance at the caller ID reveals that it is your girlfriend, and you leap out of bed to take the call only to realize that both of your arms are temporarily paralyzed from insufficient blood flow over the course of the night. "I wonder who that is" says one of the hot bicurious women sleepily as she moves to pick up the phone receiver, and you can only stare dumbly, your useless arms hanging apelike by your sides.

Parlaying your fame as a middling television chef personality into a gig at the Iron Chef showdown, during which the Secret Ingredient is revealed to be human flesh.

Meh: Parlaying your fame as an aging Olympian gold medalist into a commercial marketing strategy for a large cellular phone company which requires you to only say three words in the resulting TV commercial.

Ugh: Upon learning the secret ingredient you set to work quickly and confidently as you have the perfect recipe in mind.


Ken Doll:
Ithyphallophobia


T

this isn't an answer to your kenny, but rather just something on that site that made me go "hunh?" like scooby doo might...

Dikephobia- Fear of justice

hunh? lesbians are justice? that's kinda cool, i guess.

okay, so this is an answer to your kenny then...

Ken Doll:
Ithyphallophobia

JW : those freakin outfits the guys in the olympics wear, with the shorts that are like infinitely thin and loose so you can't look below their waist at any point or you basically see their penis

JB : the ironic combination Ithyphallophobia and the of Ken Doll, from whom you are so safe

kennie: you don't have a flyswatter, but there's a fly, flying around in your kitchen. you decide to punch it. you punch the fly, who falls to the ground, seemingly stunned. you get a piece of paper to nab it with. as you go to pick it up, it flies away. you lunge at it and catch it in your hand. it tickles. you open the door to throw it outside. as you throw it, two moths enter through the open door.

toomanyhelicopters wrote:kennie: you don't have a flyswatter, but there's a fly, flying around in your kitchen. you decide to punch it. you punch the fly, who falls to the ground, seemingly stunned. you get a piece of paper to nab it with. as you go to pick it up, it flies away. you lunge at it and catch it in your hand. it tickles. you open the door to throw it outside. as you throw it, two moths enter through the open door.

JB: Substitute a cute kitten or puppy for the two moths.

JW: Make the fly a mosquito, which has successfully given you an itchy welt, and then make the two moths into unusually aggressive wasps.

Now lock this up in a kennel, bitches:

You decide to hit the perversion trifecta, and you fuck a dead puppy, because it neatly encompasses pedophilia, bestiality and necrophilia in one fell swoop.

But wait! That wasn't you. That was yr friend. YOU have sloppy seconds.

Wait again! That wasn't you either. You have to felch the remnants out of the puppy after the second guy finishes up.

Also, the dead puppy was fucked in the ass.

Salut!

gio wrote:

K to the Enny: You are in a long-term relationship, but your girlfriend is out of town. In a night of wild, unforseen circumstance, you are seduced by two beautiful yet devilish bicurious women, who get you shit wasted and convince you to bring them home with you. After two hours of intense drunken sexual acrobatics, the two women fall asleep in your arms, but happen to be lying directly on your left and right brachial arteries, respectively. You are awakened in the morning by the phone ringing next to your bed. A glance at the caller ID reveals that it is your girlfriend, and you leap out of bed to take the call only to realize that both of your arms are temporarily paralyzed from insufficient blood flow over the course of the night. "I wonder who that is" says one of the hot bicurious women sleepily as she moves to pick up the phone receiver, and you can only stare dumbly, your useless arms hanging apelike by your sides.

JB: You awake suddenly to realize that the above was an at-first enjoyable, but-then terrible dream. Unfortunately, you wake up next to your girlfriend after having shouted “Don’t answer the phone you hot sluts it’s my fat girlfriend!â€

LAD wrote:Kenneth Star:

All the fundamentalist Christians are right: God’s a bigoted vengeful creep and you are going straight to actually-existing hell for an eternity of fresh pain and screaming misery.

JB :



JW :



somebody go ahead and pick up that kenny up there, g'head.

I wanted to peruse this thread that has so many replies but I was fucked from the first post because I dont know what the original game that this is a spin off from is. Anyone care to explain?

http://www.electrical.com/phpBB2/viewto ... light=rank

HOT DAMN! the kenny has surpassed its papa, the rank, for numbers in reply, 637 to 614!

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Kenny: Former Cleveland Indians LHP Chuck Finley is the ex-husband of Tawny Kitaen. The couple experienced a much-publicized domestic disturbance where Ms. Kitaen allegedly abused Mr. Finley. Shortly thereafter, Mr. Finley was scheduled to start against the Chicago White Sox at Comiskey Park. When he took the mound for his warm up pitches, a Comiskey Park staffer played Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" over the stadium public address system.

just better - You are former Chicago White Sox catcher Carlton Fisk. You are a member of MLB's gloried Hall Of Fame. But you are also a member of the select group of people that have seen your former teammate and back-up catcher, Ron Karkovice, naked.

just worse - You are Cleveland Indians LHP Chuck Finley and the ex-husband of Tawny Kitaen. You have recently experienced a much-publicized domestic disturbance where you, Mr. Finley, were allegedly the victim of Ms. Kitaen's abuse. You are now scheduled to start against the Chicago White Sox at Comiskey Park. When you take the mound for your warm up pitches, a Comiskey Park staffer plays The Spin Doctors' "Two Princes" over the stadium public address system. Oh, god, how you hate that fucking song.

Please, kenny:
- You are a mildly retarded woman with a superiority complex. You work at a small family grocery store as a cashier. It's December 21st and as each customer passes through your line, you close the transaction by saying, "Happy Winter Solstice!". You are hopeful and fully prepared for an opportunity to go into great detail about the concept of the solstice and its significance.

stackmatic wrote:Please, kenny:
- You are a mildly retarded woman with a superiority complex. You work at a small family grocery store as a cashier. It's December 21st and as each customer passes through your line, you close the transaction by saying, "Happy Winter Solstice!". You are hopeful and fully prepared for an opportunity to go into great detail about the concept of the solstice and its significance.

Just Better - the reason you're so up on the solstice is because you are a practicing wiccan

Just Worse - complete with the warted nose and cackling laugh

Much worse - your crystal ball told you that you will die a warted, cackling virgin. and the armpit hair. oh my, the armpit hair. it may well be your best friend.

kenickie:

a coworker that you find somewhat attractive