Mandroid2.0 wrote:If this doesn't stop soon, I'm going to succumb to a psychiatrist who will medicate me, a Catholic priest willing to perform an exorcism, or a fucking shaman. Seriously. My dreams are driving me insane and I can't sleep for more than two hours at a time.

Did you recently stop smoking marijuana? I ask because when I did, I was assailed by the most intensely vivid dreams ever, which woke me every couple of hours and which I recalled more faithfully than at any other time in my life. It seems to me it lasted about a month before I was able to count on a good night's sleep.

Hot, ditzy chick getting on a down escalator at the subway station this morning, staring down at it like she was trying to catch a cobra behind the head:

"Ohmigod...I'm gonna die, these things confuse me."

They confused me too, when I was 4 years old. Pretty sure I mastered them not long after that. Who the hell can't handle a slowly moving set of stairs?

A ski lift would probably give her a seizure.

Here's a simple hint: It's fine if you don't want to go on a date with me. But if you really don't want to go on a date with me

don't ask me on a date

Second time this has happened in six months. A bit of a miserable bait-and-switch and I can't for the life of me find out why people do this. There is no shame in being so cowardly or maladroit as to be unable to graciously turn someone down; however if you can't do so maybe you shouldn't be "dating" anyone at all.

Rimbaud III wrote:

burun wrote:Considering nobody ever calls me here except security ("Who violated room D-426?" is what they always ask me) and vendors asking for someone who died more than a year ago, I doubt that I need a phone 17.4% better than this one.

However, if your phone makes the phone sexing business easier, well, salut!

My favourite thing to do with these phones is dial one of them, conference all the others in the office in on it and set them all to speaker phone. You can control the feedback by moving them back and forth - best achieved with them sat on office chairs.

Call me and I'll conference you in on some art.

that actually sounds very fun.

two big bosses and an assistant are in the office next to mine discussing why the fuck tom petty is going to be in the half-time show. they are disappointed because petty is "so old." the asst opined that maybe because britney spears is so fucked up ("51/50! they said!," a big boss said), that they had to get petty.

An occasional source of utter hilarity happened again today: an older guy with big eyebrows, kinda reserved, and that sits in a big office with windows reported that his smart phone wasn't syncing his email anymore. Help desk guy was busy so I went up and grabbed the phone to troubleshoot. It's all messed up and usually you have to reset it back to factory default and reset everything up in that case. So I'm backing up his stuff onto a memory card, and of course there are several camera phone pictures from some sort of wet t-shirt contest stored in his memory.

Not quite as awesome as when an accounting minion was getting a new computer and he had a picture in his My Documents folder called "My Bitches.jpg" of him flanked by two really skanky whore-looking twins with their big fake tits just about hanging out of tube tops. But still pretty awesome.

Pro tip: every IT department laughs at your personal pictures when working on your cell phone or computer.

enframed wrote:two big bosses and an assistant are in the office next to mine discussing why the fuck tom petty is going to be in the half-time show. they are disappointed because petty is "so old." the asst opined that maybe because britney spears is so fucked up ("51/50! they said!," a big boss said), that they had to get petty.

5150? Isn't that Eddie V. Halen's studio/Peavey amp name?

Working on a Real Estate ad for the Cape Cod Times today. I like imagining the town names in the ad as spoken by JFK:

Broosta
Chattum
Eastum
Hawich
Ahstaville
Wearum
West Bonnstabul
West Follmuth
West Hoyannispawt
West Yahmuth
Yahmuth Pawt

My co-worker just gave me a few pieces of Chick-o-Stick candy.

I was verydisappointed to read that it does not, in fact, taste like chicken.

Chik-O-Stick's are good. Like the inside of a Butterfinger.

Not like chicken.

If you need chicken candy, please search of the Chick-N-Leg:


Awesome. Al B. Stern gifted me with one awhile back. The package says "Tastes Like Delicious".