what a thread! B to the U to the motherfucking MP!

the last real close-call, long, serious fight of mine was back when i was in primary shcool and used to fight quite a lot so i don't remeber it very well as it wasn't anything special. my last "fight" went as this: i was walking around the city with my drunken friends (i wasn;t sober, too) and for some reason which i can't understand now i was wearing a firefigheter helmet. im sure i was wearing it for the kicks, but where did i get it from? anyway, one of my friends was sort of agressiv-sih towards me entire night, i couldn't understand it then, now i think it was because i spent quite a lot time that night chatting with a girl with whom he (as i learned later) was in love with.
he hit my helmet a couple times which haven't hurd but wasn;t anything pleasent either so i was keep on telling him to knok it off. after one particular strong hit i turned around, grabbed him by his arm and threw him into the ground judo-style (i know jude a little bit plus im 188/6'2'' and *akhem* well build so it wasn;t an particular act of bad-assery) and shouted "stop it you moron". then i helped him with getting up and he pointed out to the piece of metal sticking from the ground about 3 meters (10 feet) from us and said that i could have fucked him big time if he had landed on it. he was being pussy, but he was right: i had no idea what i was throwing him at, but i should have. so yeah, that's the last time i used psychical violence against someone, had the right to do it and still i felt bad for doing it.

so shit, this is is the second last time: same part of the city, same numch friends, this time we're indoors and one guy who was an incredibly arrogant, homophobic DJ was unpleasent to me entire evening. he was not a friend of mine, and he really was a total asshole so i wasn't defensive at all (like in the first story - i liked that guy) so i was throwing puns at him whenever i could, which is not something to be proud of as he was kinda dumb but hey - he has started. so well after midnight i went out (it was summer time) to drink a beer in the fresh air and he aproached and started to be physically agressive - he started to pushing me and stuff. he was smaller than me so i didn't want to fight him (my dad, who was a big bloke himself, told me to always do everything possibke to avoid a fight and never fight with people weaker than me. RIP dad!). so when he pushed me and swung at me i grabbed his hand, told him to stop instead of punching him, and pushed him back. that really pissed him off so he approached and furiously swung at me again. remember, this was an arrogant, homphobic, stupid, emo-alike (haircut, the way he hold cigarettes, girly appaerance etc) asshole. and he was basically asking for a good beating. so i punched him in the stomach, throw in the ground, put my knee on his neck and calmly whispered to his hear "don't try to do it again or i will break your arm". which i didn't mean at all as i was calm during all of it and i have no idea what it would have to happen to make me conciously brake anyone's arm. i walked in and i think he walked to other place/home as don't recall seeing him that night after this incident. this was barerly a fight but it is one of top 20 of best moments of my life.

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote: I truthfully do not know if I could have taken him, but I do know that I would die before I'd let myself be vanquished by a man with a ponytail.

this line is gold, as is the entire story. salut!

Walking home from the kind of bar you go to after all the reasonable ones have closed my two co-bingers began to remove clothing on street with intention of running merrily through town.
Co-bingers try to persuade me to remove mine own clothing but I refuse (not for any prudish or moral reason you understand, probably just cause it was cold).
I at some point become convinced that said co-bingers have removed mine trousers and I begin to insist that they return them.
They have not removed my trousers.

After some moments of insistence they become frustrated and one of them shouts at me. At the time I lived with this one and he had been a cunt for weeks so something in my head used this as a perfectly reasonable time to hit him.

I only remember what happened next in strange fuzzy polaroid like still images. Myself and opponent (he naked from waist down) rolling around on floor attempting to damage each other (and completely failing). Other co-binger recounted that at some point a couple walked past walking there dog and he (also naked from the waist down) tried to wish them a polite good evening.

At some point myself and opponent decided fighting rubbishly was tiring and not worth the effort so stopped. We went home and drank some home made peach schnapps which I only know because of the large empty bottle we discovered the next day.

This was not one of my better evenings.

last winter

davesec wrote:last winter

I'm confused. This sounds remarkably similar to the fight you recounted above. Is it the same fight from a different perspective like in Rashomon or is your girlfriend just really hot? Or both?

...

TheMadChaosopher wrote:last fight i was in was in.
i drunkenly backhanded my ex-girlfriend so hard that i broke 2 of my fingers, knocked her out cold, and she almost had a miscarriage.
my ring finger is STILL a little crooked cuz i never went to the doctor.

Woh back the truck up..... are you serious?

wellsyuk wrote:

TheMadChaosopher wrote:last fight i was in was in.
i drunkenly backhanded my ex-girlfriend so hard that i broke 2 of my fingers, knocked her out cold, and she almost had a miscarriage.
my ring finger is STILL a little crooked cuz i never went to the doctor.

Woh back the truck up..... are you serious?

Doubtful - Chaosopher was a notorious troll/twat/attention seeking joke.
This is typical of the crap he used to shit out.

night_tools wrote:

wellsyuk wrote:

TheMadChaosopher wrote:last fight i was in was in.
i drunkenly backhanded my ex-girlfriend so hard that i broke 2 of my fingers, knocked her out cold, and she almost had a miscarriage.
my ring finger is STILL a little crooked cuz i never went to the doctor.

Woh back the truck up..... are you serious?

Doubtful - Chaosopher was a notorious troll/twat/attention seeking joke.
This is typical of the crap he used to shit out.

I have met this mad chaosopher character outside of this forum...for a very short time he used to live right above me in fact....and I'd say it's about a 50-50 shot whether he's joking or not
REAL wacked out dude to say the least, never attacked me in the hallways or anything but the possibility always seemed present

In the Fall of 2000, I was working as a bike courier in Vancouver. I was riding westbound on Pender street towards Thurlow. A cabbie drives up alongside me and starts weaving side to side, close enough that I have to keep veering away just to avoid being hit, and almost touching the parked cars on my right in the process. I shout 'Hey' just to get his attention, and he rolls down the passenger side window. I say something like, 'Did you even realize that you're weaving into the parking lane'. Well, the dude just fucking loses it. I have never heard that many four letter words spoken by one person in under five seconds, ever. After he's done with his rant, he accelerates away, but only to be caught at the next red light and behind another car, so he can't go anywhere. Naturally, I pull up on his right side and kick (with steel soled cycling shoe) the cab's rear passenger side body panel. I quickly note that I've removed some yellow paint and have left a (hopefully permanent) dent as well. For some reason, I didn't just ride off.

In a split second, the cabbie is out of the vehicle and screaming more shit at me. He even tries (unsuccessfully) to push me. I held my cool, figuring the guy will realize that there's twenty cars lined up behind his cab and the light has just turned green , but no, he keeps ranting and getting in my face . He tries to push me again and I figure 'fuck it', the guy is no fighter and he's 5'5 or something, so I punch him in the face and most of my fist lands in his left eye. He's stunned for about three seconds and it occurs to me in that moment, that I better put a stop to this, or I could get hauled off to jail for someone else's near homicidal driving .

So instead, I shout at the guy, telling him to get back in his cab and drive the fuck away. He's not having it, and I've already decided that I'm not going to continue the violence, so I start backing away (bad idea) and dude turns and grabs my bike, lifting it as high as he can and throwing it straight down onto the pavement. Front wheel breaks in half and a collective gasp comes from the crowd of about 50 onlookers (it's 5 p.m. and everyone downtown is pouring out into the street). Once he finishes doing that, he's after me again, but now I have my pepper spray in hand, and he spots it . He says something like ' You think that can hurt me ? I used to play with that stuff when I was a kid, it doesn't do a fucking thing etc...'. He tries to push me one more time and I let him have the juice right in the eye. Point- fucking- blank !!! Of course, he drops straight away and I instantly understand why cops like to use this stuff so much. Just then, some 50- something prudish receptionist type comes up to me and says something like 'You didn't have to do that, it's wrong, blah blah blah'. And I'm like 'Huh ?'

Meanwhile, the cabbie is still on the ground (where he would remain for about half an hour) moaning and crying. The cops show up and try to get a statement from him. All the cabbie managed to say was, "It was a racist attack". The same cop who took his statement, comes over to talk to me. I tell him how it went and ask him what he thinks about the 'racist attack' B.S. The cop gives a light chuckle and says, "Cabbies say that all the time when they fuck up. Don't worry about it." The cops took a few witness statements, picked the cabbie up off the ground, and put him in a paddy wagon. I called my brother and he came and grabbed me and my broken bike. End of day.

Two weeks later I'm in Gastown having fries and burger with the girlfriend, when the same cop calls me. He said that, although he doesn't think either party acted with good judgement, there are not going to be any charges pressed. And that was the last I heard of it. Didn't see the cabbie behind the wheel again either.

Brother fight. Kinda sad, but shit happens.

About a year and a half ago I asked my brother (me 31; him, 28 ) to help me move furniture - a lot of big, unwieldly, heavy shit. It was hot out. Tensions brewed all day. While taking him home a verbal battle errupted. I pulled the truck over and said something like get out of the truck you little pussy! I tried dragging him from the truck but he wedged himself in and started wildly kicking in my direction. I tried to get in closer to have better leverage to yank him from the truck. He got me in a headlock and hit me in the face a few times.

He said something like, See what happens? And I said, I'd kick you ass if I had some room to move around - get out of the fucking truck!! I tried to pull him out again, with much the same results.

I drove him home in silence, brooding. When I pulled into his driveway, I put the truck in [p]ark, whacked my forearm across the bridge of his nose, then dashed out and around to his side. Now get out of the truck! And we fought.

My brother is short and stocky and much stronger than me. But he is the worst fighter I have ever seen or fought. I ducked a few haymakers, blocked a few other clumsy punches, and then he got frustrated and for some reason tried a drop kick. I had time to shake my head and say, "Jesus..." before grabbing his foot and throwing him on his back. I did some pummeling around the head, then got him in headlock and slammed his head into the side of the truck. He threw me off and I knew I was in trouble because I found myself in the midst of an asthma attack. I groped for my inhaler and gasped, "stop! Can't breathe!" We stopped. He went inside, I tried to catch my breath, then went home.

We made up about a month or two later. (God, I feel like a redneck.)