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Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 6:37 pm
by same_Archive
Man Thinking of Becoming Buddhist Monk, Doesn't Think Orange is His Color
Area Couple Can't Agree on IKEA Entertainment Center
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 2:59 pm
by 1st2letters_Archive
Area Manager Inadvertently Encourages Heroin Use in Request to "Tie Off" on Project
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:39 pm
by Mr Chimp_Archive
Willie Dixon Licks Pinched for 12,875th Time By Local Area Novice Bluesman
G8 Live Mic Debacle A Set Up....But Bush "Spaced It Was On Anyway" Says Blair
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:10 pm
by Charlie D_Archive
AREA MAN CLAIMS T-REX RECORD DID NOT ENHANCE LOVE-MAKING
"I couldn't help but disagree with the claim that I could be a jeepster for anybody's love, nor am I ever in the [physical] position to 'bang a gong' during intercourse", he explains.
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:14 pm
by Tree_Archive
Man Originally Masturbating to Phoebe Cates Now Masturbating to Judge Reinhold
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:41 pm
by Minotaur029_Archive
CottonSocks wrote:Misunderstood Teen Finds Acceptance At Local Nursing Home
This would almost certainly be a successful pitch if you were on the Onion staff.
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 11:55 pm
by lemur68_Archive
I wish I could take credit for this one, but I can't:
Area Hipster's Record Collection Tests Positive For Anthrax CD
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:23 am
by matthew_Archive
Andrew L. wrote:Repressed 27 Year-Old Catholic Virgin Lashes Out Against "faggotry" on Internet Message Board
Canadian man attempts to be "intellectual" by posting long-winded apologetics for Marxism on Internet Message Board.
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:48 pm
by mrdfnle_Archive
matthew wrote:Andrew L. wrote:Repressed 27 Year-Old Catholic Virgin Lashes Out Against "faggotry" on Internet Message Board
nothing.
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:14 pm
by oxlongm_Archive
Marsupialized Endorses Obama
