Fuck! Rooney! Shit. No Euro 2008 for us then. Plus he was in my fantasy league team... I'm gonna have to make big changes.

I just took an 8 point loss to rejig things... taken a risk on Tevez. Mind you, alongside Martins and Berbatov that's a pretty awesome front line...

sleepkid wrote:I really no longer think of Manchester United as a football team, rather they are this evil entity. A corporate juggernaut.

Sadly this is the benchmark/ethos/business plan that all premiership clubs seem to aspire to now. All these pre-season jaunts to far flung places - good practice for the coming season, or a marketing jolly to strengthen brand identity? Signing players from "emerging markets"? If there's a Chinese lad who's nothing special but quite good, you know signing him can potentially expand your fanbase by millions, whereas young Kevin Grotty from your academy will just bring... not very much revenue.

OK, kids, it's time to put your money where your mouth is. Let's make a series of risky and outlandish predictions about how this season's going to pan out. Answer me the following questions about the Premier League, and we'll see who was most ridiculously wrong in May.

1. Who will win it?

2. Who will qualify for the Champions League?

3. Who will qualify for the UEFA cup?

4. Who will finish in the top half of the table?

5. Who will finish in the anonymous void that is 11th - 15th?

6. Who will fight for relegation and survive?

7. Who will go down?

***

My answers:

1. Who will win it?

Chelsea. I still see this league as a two horse race between the Red Scum and the Blue Scum. I don't think Liverpool have the right manager or Arsenal the right squad. I would prefer Manchester United to win it, as I actually enjoy watching them play, but with Rooney out and this slow (albeit one game) start... it's not much to go on, but I'm going to use it to tip the scales of judgement in Chelsea's favour.

2. Who will qualify for the Champions League?

Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal - I suspect that it will be in that order too. I'm just not convinced that anyone else out there is good enough to compete with the big four. I would love to be proved wrong.

3. Who will qualify for the UEFA cup?

Tottenham have the fifth best squad in this league, and should finish accordingly. Manchester Human rights Abuse City could do very well - they've got a pretty strong squad and Sven is no chump at club level. I think Everton will do well, as long as their key players are fit and performing (most notably Arteta). If there's one man who can make Newcastle United defend well, it's the odious Sam Allardyce. I think they will do relatively well this year. Blackburn Rovers could be in the running, although they'll probably be resigned to the glory of the Intertoto Cup. An outside bet - Sunderland, who I think will do very well this year.

4. Who will make up the rest of the top half of the table?

Well, most likely Blackburn Rovers, possibly Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Sunderland...

5. Who will finish in the anonymous void that is 11th - 15th?

Bolton, who will have a stunningly underwhelming season. At last! West Ham, who shall similarly underwhelm - yay! Hang on a sec, I think with those last two teams I'm projecting my fantasies on to reality, but anyway.... Reading - I don't think they'll go down... I don't buy this second season syndrome malarkey, but all the same I doubt they'll repeat last season's triumphs. Any of the teams from the previous question who don't do as well as they might.

6. Who will flirt for relegation, yet survive?

Middlesborough, Fulham. Bolton? West Ham? Stop dreaming!

7. Who will go down?

Wigan Athletic, Birmingham City, Derby County.


In other leagues, Nottingham Forest will ocntinue to underachieve, finishing in the play-offs but failing to go past the semi-finals. Rings a bell, that one.... Notts County will spend all season looking like they might just about make a play-off position, but trail off catastrophically in the last few games.... Stevenage Borough will do exactly the same in the Conference. Not predicting great things for my teams this year then...

simmo wrote: In other leagues, Nottingham Forest will ocntinue to underachieve, finishing in the play-offs but failing to go past the semi-finals. Rings a bell, that one.... Notts County will spend all season looking like they might just about make a play-off position, but trail off catastrophically in the last few games.... Stevenage Borough will do exactly the same in the Conference. Not predicting great things for my teams this year then...

Are both Forest and County your teams? Is that allowed? Or does one side of your brain hate the other? I thought you were County?

I am County, but I wish Forest well...

To explain: I've only been living in Nottingham 5 years. Before this time I had no interest in either of the said clubs. I guess I "support" both teams in the sense that I hope they do well, as this is a city down in the dumps about football if ever I saw one. I follow County more closely as I'm from that side of the river. So I guess I don't "support" either in the classic manner, it's more, a "take an interest in and have hopes for" type of support.

In fact, I don't really support anyone anymore. As a kid I was a devout Manchester City and Stevenage Borough fan (Stevo's ground being one mile from where I grew up), but I kind of lost touch with football during a teenage period of girls and fags and white lightning and drugs. I stopped paying much attention and ignored what was going on at Maine Road and Broadhall Way. I kind of "rediscovered" football about five or six years back, suddenly finding myself in love with the game once more, but with the passion for my old clubs greatly diminished. I've somewhat refound my devotion to Stevenage Borough as I've been to see them a fair few times recently, but as for the Sky Blues - [sighs] - well, Shinawatra was the final nail in the coffin.

All of this may sound strange to you, and it often does appear so to me - it feels a little weird, not truly having a club you call your own, but it's also been strangely liberating... I guess County and Stevenage Borough are my teams these days, although I'd like to see Forest put Nottingham back on the footballing map.... and in the premiership, I guess the closest thing I have to a support is a repressed Man City sentimental attachment and a bit of respect for Arsenal. Or whoever's playing the kind of football I like.

I hope that explains it all!

simmo wrote:As a kid I was a devout Manchester City and Stevenage Borough fan (Stevo's ground being one mile from where I grew up), but I kind of lost touch with football during a teenage period of girls and fags and white lightning and drugs.

Excellent! A cure at last!

(Leaves computer. Goes to corner shop. Buys girls, fags, white lightning and drugs in industrial quantities. Spends rest of the day trying to purge the stain.)

In the light of the darn-tootin' declaiming above, it's a good moment for this article on ESPN Soccernet to argue that the Bundesliga is the most idealogically sound league in Europe.

DRC! Answer my questions re: this season's premier league.

I'm bored at work.

Very bored.

Premier League? Never heard of it. Can't see it catching on.

1 spyforce FC kelly n 58 58
2 Lochgilphead FC Sleepkid Campbell 49 49
3 Wharfedale Generals Daniel Chapman 48 48
3 Garibaldi FC Sylvain Falcou 48 48
3 Spur FC Nicolas Adie 48 48
6 HumanRightsAbusesFC Nick Dudley 47 47
6 New York New Money stuart turner 47 47
8 phila. trashmen matt lee 45 45
9 HARDPOINT FC Michael Houston 43 43
9 Los Alpacas Tommy Dski 43 43
11 Chicago Sting John B 42 42
11 Nice Thighs United Q Chung 42 42
13 Portmerion FC Patrick McGoohan 40 40
14 DC Hotspurs Doug Beridon 36 36
15 Tweedmouth Rovers Jon Goodwin 35 35
16 Lithgow Shamrocks Tim Wright 34 34
17 Sparta Hirsto John Hirst 33 33
18 Red Star Chairmo Ben Hall 31 31
18 Renegade Sinewaves Josef k 31 31
20 Holyhead Hydras shay hydra 29 29