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The abolition of "paper index cards in wooden drawers"-style card catalogs at your local library.

jb: the abolition of "paper cards in rectangular boxes"-style computer programming at your local academic institution.

jw: the abolition of "paper"-style books for "e-books."

to kenny: that dude on the bus will not stop gnawing on his damn fingernails!

gio wrote:to kenny: that dude on the bus will not stop gnawing on his damn fingernails!

Just better: That dude on the bus will not stop sucking you off.

Just worse: Your grandmother will not stop sending you her fingernails in the mail.

Kinetheodolite: Immanuel Kant

to kenny: that dude on the bus will not stop gnawing on his damn fingernails!

Mildly Better- Being that dude on the bus that will not stop gnawing his fingernails.

Mildly worse- Feeling the cold aura of a possessed transient overtake you whilst riding the metro into Chicago as he inquires in regards to whether or not you have a pencil on your person he can use while he scribbles with his finger on dirty, greasy papers covered in scribbles and other various hobo lore, mumbling under his breathe constantly possibly about his own potent odor and/or need to bump his knee into your thigh.

Ken E.? Ken Me. - Taking a break from the electrical.com crap/not crap message board only to come back and find it dominated by threads involving porn references, sex with the over-weight, drug preferences, beer guts and who could forget metal punctuation.

Kenneth Sanders- Having dandruff.

Kens come in 3's- Having the name Scott Bakula, but not being the star of Quantum Leap, just a similar looking fellow of the same age and being relatively successful if you measure that period in the 80's when you reached a total of 17 "Hey aren't you..."'s a day as success.

Carry Me Away wrote:Kenny: Taking a break from the electrical.com crap/not crap message board only to come back and find it dominated by threads involving porn references, sex with the overweight, drug preferences, beer guts and -- who could forget -- metal punctuation.

Just Better: You go out for a day of fairly casual droid shopping, and then return home to discover that Imperial stormtroopers have killed your beloved aunt and uncle.

Just Worse: Waking up from a battle injury to discover that you are now the bedridden soldier in Metallica's "One" video.

Kenny: Being on the electrical.com crap/not crap message board pretty much every work day only to see it slowly devolve into a forum dominated by threads involving porn references, sex with the overweight, drug preferences, beer guts and -- who could forget -- metal punctuation.

Kenny: Being on the electrical.com crap/not crap message board pretty much every work day only to see it slowly devolve into a forum dominated by threads involving porn references, sex with the overweight, drug preferences, beer guts and -- who could forget -- metal punctuation.

Just Better: Hey, what's this? "A Bell Is A Cup Until It Is Struck"! The new Wire record! After so many years! And hey, you can dance to it!

Just Worse: "There are a lot of orphaned Kennies that need to be Kennied."

Kenny: (What I believe to be) The inevitable Twins victory over either the Red Sox or Yankees in this year's AL Division Series.

Angus Jung via Bradley R. Weissenberger via Carry Me Away wrote:Kenny: Being on the electrical.com crap/not crap message board pretty much every work day only to see it slowly devolve into a forum dominated by threads involving porn references, sex with the overweight, drug preferences, beer guts and -- who could forget -- metal punctuation.

JB: Typing things into the C/NC section and finding yourself keying in the word "amazing" and then backspacing your way into a more appropriate adjective.

JW: Posting on most other boards, I guess. WTF LOL!!!11!! ROFL!!1! u r cra z dawg! limp bizkit rulz!!z!!1!! l33t! 0wned!! I'm a total knob.


Hey, buddy. Ken you spare a dime?:

When the ex comes over and collects all of her personal belongings. I mean, it's great to have more shelf space, but it ain't that great.




Faiz

kerble wrote:
When the ex comes over and collects all of her personal belongings. I mean, it's great to have more shelf space, but it ain't that great.

Way Better: When The Ex come over to play a personal set.
Way worse: When the ex comes over to shit down your throat.

Just Better: Lucky day. You have just saved a nickel on a 2L carton of milk by utilizing the coupon handed to you by a weary cashier.

Just Worse: Your ex sends her mother to pick up her things.

If you were Kenny: striving, despair, ennui,
suicide, bankruptcy, arteriosclerosis, megalomania, schizophrenia, hernia ...

LAD wrote:If you were Kenny: striving, despair, ennui,
suicide, bankruptcy, arteriosclerosis, megalomania, schizophrenia, hernia ...

JB: jiving, repair, onions, pesticide, boardwalk, archeopteryx, mega man, the sonic youth song, weird "al" yankovic.

JW: jeff stryker, disco, eunuchs, matricide, moral bankruptcy, rickets, napoleon complex, out of weed, prolapse.

Kendroids:

Attending your high school reunion and realizing that you are the longhair.


Faiz

Carry Me Away wrote:Kenneth Sanders- Having dandruff.

just better = An episode of tv's "Head Of The Class" that focuses on either the Jawaharlal or Janice character.
just worse = Your name is Dan Druff.

Please, kenny:
- You work at an electronics manufacturing plant. Historically, the plant has provided it's production workers with bottled water stations that are equipped with flat-bottomed dixie cup dispensers. A new corporate guy is brought in to manage the plant. He feels that production time is being lost due to workers filling the cups and taking them back to their work stations and then lifting, sipping, setting them back down throughout their shift. He replaces the dispensers with those that will only accommodate pointy-bottomed, cone-shaped paper cups.

Attending your high school reunion and realizing that you are the longhair.

jb: attending your high school reunion and realizing that you're the only one with a sliver of soul left.

jw: attending your high school reunion and realizing that you forgot to put on pants.

Mr. Stack has presented above a yet unrealized Kenny.