Marlowe wrote:When I was a youngster (maybe 6-7?) I used to think that radio stations were broadcasting live bands that came to the station and played. So, somehow, each band would set up for a single song and play... I didn't know anything about recordings yet.

This would be incredible. Someone should do this. It would be great. With live ads. The "DJs" would be running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

I am wearing a poison t shirt in my 5th grade class photo.

When I was eleven or twelve, I won tickets for an Aerosmith concert and a meet-and-greet with Joe Perry, through a contest in a rock magazine. Being eleven or twelve, my dad went along for the gig. Ofcourse I was way shy about meeting such a big ass rockstar and spoke at best a good ten words of English, so the only thing I could do was shake mr. Perry's hand and mutter: "I really like you Joe Perry." After that my dad took over the conversation, saying stuff like: "You know he (me) uses broomsticks for guitars and practises your moves in front of the mirror, haha". Totally "taking the piss". I was so embarrassed and left as fast as I could.

Other contenders:

Totally fucking up a gig and picking a fight with band members in front of a gazillion people (nerves and alcohol).

Telling a girl who I was on fucking terms with after seeing her incredibly bad rockband perform that "it was really awesome".

Oh, and this.

[Shies away]

This is one of the funniest threads I've ever read here.

I can't think of much off of the top of my head, but getting wasted and air-guitaring to Gary Moore's "Hiroshima" certainly ranks as one of my worse days.

Gary Moore wrote:So many children have been born
Who cannot read or write.
They cannot speak
They cannot hear and some have lost their sight.
Adults with infant minds don't know the reason why.
For they were in their mothers' wombs
When death fell from the sky.

Once I played a show and thought the 4th band on the bill was named "Curfew." When I told people about the show, I think I said something like, "...and after our set, Curfew will take the stage at 12:00."

When I was about 8 years old, I assured my uncle that it was David Bowie who invented the Bowie knife. He strung me along for about 10 minutes before he said, "no... I think that was Jim Bowie."

The first song I memorized word-by-word was "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

Madre de dios! So shameful!

Marsupialized wrote:I am wearing a poison t shirt in my 5th grade class photo.

I spent around $200 on a class ring, only to have comedy/tragedy masks (for "theater" supposedly) engraved on the side with the word "MOTLEY" emblazoned over them.

In retrospect, it was probably worth the $200 to have that ridiculous story now.

When I was in sixth grade, my best friend Mick and I decided to give a "concert" as part of the school talent show. This consisted of us lip-synching to three songs each. He chose the three KISS songs sung by Ace Frehley, his idol: "Shock Me," "Rocket Ride," and whatever the other one is. I selected three of my favorite songs of the day: "Cold as Ice," "We Are the Champions," and, inexplicably, "Hotel California." Mick pantomimed playing a cheap Stratocaster copy while I alternated between my acoustic and the upright piano at stage right. We even had those beautiful old school microphones, the ones with the squarish mics like Elvis and James Brown used.

I'll spare you a blow-by-blow account of the entire show, but the highlights included us removing our "silk" shirts simultaneously to reveal matching red polyester tank tops and leaping from the cafeteria stage over the girls who'd amassed themselves on the floor directly in front of the stage. In addition to these bits of high theatre, I'd filled a couple of baggies with homemade confetti (notebook paper cut up during study hall), which I planned to hurl about the stage during our finale.

The definite lowlight occurred when, halfway through the interminable harmony solo at the end of "Hotel California," Mick suddenly walked off stage, where he proceeded to laugh at me from the wings as I strummed along to my acoustic and tried to go on with the show. Perhaps that was the moment I decided that I hated The Eagles more than any band ever.

We got our momentum back with the finale, however, and while the confetti didn't fly from the baggies as grandly as I'd hoped, it did up the emotional ante a bit--that is, until the final strains of "We Are the Champions" faded and Mrs. Basham interrupted our chat with potential "groupies" to inform Mick and me that we'd have to sweep up the mess we'd left on the stage.

Mick has commented to me, more than once, that he would give $1000 to have a videotape of this event. He is not a rich man, but I believe him.

When I was in 6th grade, I was a HUGE Van Halen fan and asked my parents to buy a guitar for me. Our neighbors across the street happened to have an old Kay guitar and amp that used to belong to their son in college, so my parents bought if for me. I was super exited until I plugged it in and it had a really clean sound. I was hoping for screaming distortion but I knew nothing of distortion pedals. I told my parents I was really bummed and that, and I quote, "It sounds like the Beatles". I hated the Beatles.

The guitar sat in a corner until I read an article where someone mentioned a distortion pedal. I ordered a DOD distortion pedal and a DOD Eq pedal, and the rocking commenced. I still have this guitar and amp, although I brutalized it by putting in some cheap-ass All-Parts humbucking pickups. (I routed the guitar myself, but it was more like chiseling).

Final note: the first thing I taught myself to play on this guitar was the killer guitar hook from Tom Petty's "You Got Lucky". This was done by recording the video off of MTV and playing it over and over until I got it. To play it, I took an extra heavy clothes hanger and bent it with pliers, making a crude whammy bar which fit perfectly where the Kay's original whammy was missing.

I guess that's not very embarrassing. Ummm.....what if I say that all of this happened with one of my testicles caught in my zipper? Yes, that's how it all went down.

I actually bought that Spin Doctors cd when it came out. I even listened to it, once.

I'm sure I've got plenty of stories that continue forth to this day, but the only thing I can come up with is when I was about 13 or so I wasn't really listening to anything except a Whitney Houston tape and Simon & Garfunkel. My brother was listening to all kinds of punk rock and I started calling it "mutated" because all the band names seemed kind of normal only with a weird subversive twist. Eventually I made up a little rap song called the "mutated kid rap" about all these wacky band names, like the Dead Kennedys. Of course, I ended up listening to all of it obsessively later.

-roya