simmo wrote:

that damned fly wrote:why i never got into any fights over this is beyond me.

Why you never get in to any fights is beyond me.

it's the look in my eye.

Our tomfoolery was downright hippie-ish. Please read these though...you will enjoy.

HIGH SCHOOL:

- Baseball slides in the middle of the hallway at inappropriate moments between classes. Getting baseball slides officially banned. Putting up fliers that said "Baseball sliding is not a crime." Retarded.

- Writing "LOVE" in giant ugly blocks of snow in the middle of a big old circular island of grass in the front of the school. We wanted to make a snowman, but it was not packing snow. It was there for months. This was actually pretty cool.

- Toga days when no one else was wearing a toga. This made authority figures really mad.

- Raining a bucket of George Bush "9/11 is a lie and GWB is a douche!" type dollar bills from the 3rd floor down the main staircase. This was during a time that people actually liked GWB.

- A "Junior Barbecue" in the middle of Circle Drive when no barbecue had been sanctioned by the staff. I thought I was gonna get fucked for this, but they eventually gave us money to get more food. Bribing the security guards with hot dogs...this helped.

Walkie Talkie: "We've got a situation in Circle Drive!"

Security Guard: "We're on it. The situation has been diffused."

- JamLifeIntoDeath got into the habit of just pulling his pants (and underpants) down in the middle of the hallway. One time a teacher caught him. She was this weird loud lady who was just like "I'm lucky I have three boys, or this would really freak me out!" She was weird. Why she didn't beat Andrew's ass right then and there will always remain a mystery to me.

- Buying habanero peppers in mass quantities. Telling kids we'd give them $10 if they didn't cry. They always cried. Always.

Andrew would do more and more everyday...all he needed was milk to dull the insane pain. I think he may have done as many as 7 or 10 at his peak. Then, his dad gave him some information about how the peppers had the potential to DESTROY his digestive system. He stopped eating habaneros.



- Andrew and I were the anchors for the morning video announcements that ran throughout the school everyday. He was the anchor first quarter, I was the anchor the second quarter. He and I came up with the idea* to introduce Mr. Dave Good (sports announcements) as something ridiculous everyday. It was meant to be insulting and prickish, but Mr. Good ate it up. He loved it. It was stuff like "and now, Venezuelan dictator, DAVE GOOD!" "And now, here's Eternal Bosom of Hot Love, MR. GOOD!" The actual things we said were a lot more borderline inappropriate/inappropriate...(and they were more clever)...but for the life of me, I cannot remember a single one now. Everytime JamLifeIntoDeath would do this, Mr. Novak (the guy in charge of morning announcements/Tech Seminar) would appear at the control booth window making the "slitting throat" gesture. He was so happy to get rid of Andrew...only to get me...who was actually co-writing the inappropriate introductions from the sidelines.

Dave Good was a fucking idiot, and he eventually had to resign in shame since he was accused of molesting some kid back in '91.

*Andrew is hazy on the details of the Dave Good stuff...it was originally our shared idea to do this. He may argue on the board that he was the lone creator...DON'T LISTEN TO HIM...he's addicted to crack.

- We had a fat, weed smokin', weed dealin' Korean kid named Steve Lee at our school. One time, friends of mine put "Happy Birthday, LEE!" posters all over the school when it was not his birthday. I guess you had to see him tell people that "it's not my birthday" to see how funny this was. Also, his last name was repeated in low tones into infinity during our graduation ceremony...from silence after other names...to BOOMING CROWD NOISE...back to silence. This made graduation tolerable.


There's so much more than this...some of it is probably more cleverly idiotic too, but I have to go to bed soon. I'm gonna kick myself when I remember like 5 more things.

In middle school we would save our little milk cartons, sneak them out to the playground and chuck them at the window of the industrial arts room.

In high school the stupid thing I would do is get thoroughly baked everyday at lunch but I doubt I'm the only one who can claim this. I remember one day I was smoking up with a friend in his car when the gym class was walking with the teacher out to the track. Someone yelled out 'Hey, Kelly! (my friend) What are you doin?' and he yells out 'WE'RE GETTIN HIGH!' I about shit my pants! Nothing happened except I got a weird sense of paranoia for the rest of the afternoon.

In middle school a friend and I would make a mental note everytime we saw someone with a mirror on the door of their locker. Usually they were magnetic, we kept track of where about 15+ mirrors were located, and every day on the round between classes, knock all the mirrors down (breaking some) by hitting the outside of these doors. Dumb, but I think I would still laugh to hear that lovely clatter in each locker.

Throwing food in the lunchroom, but that's kind of a rite of passage, no? Flinging shit with plastic spoons.

I think I managed to piss in a drinking fountain a few times.

DNA Concept wrote:-A smartass friend took an AP English class, and for his final project he chose to do a glorified book report on Kant's Critique of Pure Reason. To write it, he downloaded a program that generated meaningless but syntactically coherent Kant-babble, let it run for the requisite number of pages, and turned the result in. Got an A, went to Yale.

He absolutely deserved that A

Climb out windows and scale the roof.

Sneak pies from the cafe.

Try and do stunts over rubbish bins.

Sneak into the swimming pool and jump off the changing sheds roof.

Light toilets on fire.

Open the gas outlets in the science lab and light them on fire.

Man, that was some stupid shit.

fantasmatical thorr wrote:

Loretta wrote:we used to hyperventilate and get someone to push your chest really hard until you passed out,

stupid,

we also used to post people on their birthdays.
four of you hold the guy with his legs open and run him into a post.

how fucking stupid is that,

i feel ill when i think about it now.

The 'passing out game'. I don't know why people actually did this. I did this. I was about 12/13. I awoke after a few minutes of vivid hallucinations to find my friend Peter (the one who pushed on my chest) crying at my feet since I went into a seizure and he thought he'd killed me. I also had some nasty scrapes on my arm, since I fell into a pile of rocks next to my house. What the fuck.

In grade school I didn't do too much that was stupid. People just did stupid shit to me. Whenever the teacher would leave the room this barrage of shit would be thrown at me... anything handy:pens, books, chairs, chalk, erasers, anything laying around the room. Guys would steal my shoes from my feet and just throw them around the room... having a fucking ball. They'd break open pens and just cover my shirt in the ink, thinking it was funny. The kids at Canty Elementary were some life-ruiners. Younger kids still walk up to me in my neighborhood and go "hey, you went to Canty right?", I usually just say no. One of the few reasons I lost faith in humanity, and chicago public schools for the most part. Kids fucking suck. Oh yeah, I shall let it be known once and for all PRF members that I am only 19 years of age at this current date.

Speaking of this era... me and my friends thought it was SO cool to imitate Jackass stunts. I once took a piece of toilet paper I'd wiped my ass with and put it in a neighbors flower pot. I also dumped cups full of my piss on strangers cars. We would also take turns putting on my Darth Vader helmet and jumping into bushes. Good thing we didn't seriously injure ourselves and/or get the fuck beaten out of us by people who wouldn't take our shit. Not at school, but I feel like its related.

High School, I would spit in the hallways... just hock huge loogeys and just let em loose on the walls, lockers, whatever. Gum on the ceiling was fun. I stole tons of shit... books, a few computer mice, a tape recorder, software I couldn't use... whatever I found laying around. I still use a lot of what I stole. The kids at my high school fucking sucked. Life-ruiners as well. They would throw eggs at people outside randomly, jump them for no reason, throw full pop bottles at people... loud-ass obnoxious motherfuckers who I still have to deal with at work occasionally.

In our junior high school there was a row of lockers by the entrance to the school library that for some reason never got assigned to any students. When I was in like 7th grade, a couple friends and I thought it would be fun to commandeer one of these for our own uses. We chose one that was situated in a corner, which we'd deemed to be the least conspicuous. I had a spare padlock lying around at home, so I just brought it to school one day and stuck it on the corner locker by the library. Since the locker was untraceable back to us through any official school records, we assumed it was sort of clandestine and would therefore make a great cache for any kind of contraband, supplies for possible future pranks/vandalism, etc. The number plate near the top of the locker door read "#1179", but we always referred to it as "home base" or sometimes "HQ".

For the first month or so, we didn't open the locker very often. We'd check on it every day, just to make sure the lock hadn't been removed or anything, and after we felt sure it wouldn't be messed with, we started storing stuff in there. Every time we visited HQ we felt like super top-secret undercover double-agents or something. We'd walk down by the library all nonchalant-like, then one of us would assume lookout duty, acting casual while watching for faculty or staff. The other guy would quickly remove the padlock, store or retrieve items, then replace the lock and we'd walk away, cool as a couple of Cold-war spooks.

The first stuff we stored in there was a bunch of those tiny bottles of Testor's enamel model paint, in a variety of colors. After school, we'd retrieve them and have fun smashing them on the playground pavement or against the brick walls of the school, leaving small, explosion-shaped splatter marks everywhere. Yeah. Fun, right?

Anyway, near the end of the school year we planned a big prank. Every day at lunch, for like 3 consecutive days, we bought a few of those small, single-serving milk cartons and put them in the locker. Our idea was to accumulate a good number of them, inject them with red food coloring then place them back on the tray in the cafeteria from which the milk was served. So one in every dozen or so kids would receive a carton of nasty, spoiled milk dyed an eerie red.

Trouble was, we didn't realize that spoiling milk creates quantities of foul-smelling gases that could easily burst a paper milk carton. So after like 3 days or so, we opened the locker to find several of the cartons busted open and the inside of the locker splattered with disgusting spoiled milk. It smelled really bad. We were disappointed that our prank wasn't going to come off as planned and our home base was horribly befouled, but cleaning up the mess was out of the question. It would necessitate water and cleaning supplies and many minutes of work at the locker, during which time we would be at risk of being spotted. We talked about just abandoning it and moving home base to another nearby locker, but we figured the smelly mess would eventually attract attention and the new HQ would soon be discovered in the resulting investigation.

The same day, at lunchtime we hit on an even better brilliant idea. We'd been enjoying the use of the locker as home base for most of the semester and with summer vacation fast approaching, its usefulness was coming to an end. It had played an important role in several fun pranks, so why not turn it into a prank itself? We agreed it had served us well and even though it was now a horrible mess, we would give it the infamy it deserved. Our plan: to turn our HQ, locker #1179, into the most disgusting locker ever in the history of the school.

We taped up the vents of the locker from the inside with that extra-wide masking tape so the rotten milk wouldn't stink up the entire vicinity too bad. Then, every day at lunch we would throw all kinds of trash in there, mostly unwanted foodstuffs from our lunches, like apple cores, banana peels, half-eaten sandwiches, smashed mayonnaise packets, fried chicken bones, pizza crusts, vegetable side dishes. We smeared the inside of the door with condiments and wrote obscenities on it in mustard and ketchup. We hung our dirty gym socks and sweaty underwear in there. Pretty soon, the highlight of my every day was lunch time, when I would get to open the locker and see what new disgustingness awaited me, then make my own new contribution to the horror. For several long weeks, our nasty daily deposits added up to a horrible mess. The entire vicinity of the locker was permeated with this sickly sweet aroma and there was a swarm of tiny fruit flies buzzing around there at all times. When the locker was open, the disgust was overpowering. It got so that I'd crack the door, throw something in and shut it as fast as possible, because the stench was so bad. It was almost as bad as a garbage dumpster behind a supermercado.

One morning just before the end of the year, while on the way to my first class, I walked past the library and the locker was gone. Just... gone. And not only #1179, but the whole bank of lockers, along with the one on the opposite side of the hall. They'd been removed, probably overnight. It was very unexpected and anticlimactic. Our home base, our HQ, was no more. And the worst part was, here I was expecting a huge uproar, a scandal, an inquest, the principal addressing each class individually, urging the culprits to step forward and confess to turning a school locker into a toxic waste dump, but it never happened. Nothing happened. The lockers just disappeared.

I went to an elementary school that was very unstructured, so there wasn't a whole lot of rebellion.

I used to hide in a cupboard during Math when I was in 4th grade because it wasn't any fun. Consequently, I wasn't super dedicated by the time I got to trigonometry, calculus, et al.

that damned fly wrote:

simmo wrote:

that damned fly wrote:why i never got into any fights over this is beyond me.

Why you never get in to any fights is beyond me.

it's the look in my browneye.

Fixed your post

I was suspected of stabbing a jock in my senior year, but I swear it wasn't me. I just happened to have a huge dagger on my belt at the time, during the night of a big football game. We'd walk across the street during the actual pigskinning and get high. Getting high at school was rare, although taking acid during class would be frequent and another perfect candidate for "fucking stupid things you used to do at school." Anyway, somebody from a rival town shanked up one of our sportsfans right in front of the main entrance. People were putting my name around because they knew I was strapped, but I found out and GTFOut of there!
Fortunately nobody got shot the time I was packing my .deuce-deuce. Kept that shit hidden, sonion.