Premier Rock Forum

Posted: **Tue Nov 23, 2004 8:42 am**

Linus Van Pelt wrote:Once upon a time there were three Indians: the father, Geronowitz, the mother, Pokeyenta, and the daughter Minnie-Horowitz. One day Minnie-Horowitz came home and said to Pokeyenta, "Mamma, I want to get married''.
Says Pocayenta, "Good, it's about time. You're already an old maid, sixteen years old; who is the groom?''
Says Minnie-Horowitz, "Oy, Mamma. Have I met a man! Strong and handsome, smart and noble!''
"And what is his name?''
"He's called Sitting Bullvon.''
"And what kind of family does he have?''
"Oy, he has a great family; his father, Meshuggenah Horse, is the great chief of all of the Shvartz-fuss tribe.''
Says Pocayenta, "Good! I feel like having a great wedding - Oy, oh no!''
"What is it?''
"I have a problem.''
"What is the problem?''
"The teepee is not big enough to hold all of the wedding guests - all of the Shvartz-fuss, and the Shmohowks, and all the rest.''
Pocayenta screams to Geronowitz, "Geronowitz, get off your tuchess and go kill me a buffalo.''
Says Geronowitz, "What do you need a buffalo for?''
"With the meat of the buffalo I can make a great buffalo tzimmes, and with the hide I can enlarge the teepee, and I can invite the entire world to the wedding.''
So Geronowitz goes. A day passes, two days, three days, and no Geronowitz. A week later, Geronowitz comes home empty-handed.
"SHLEMIEL! Where is my buffalo?'' screams Pocayenta.
"You and your buffalo tzimmis, to Hell with them both!''
"Why? What happened?''
"The first day I saw a buffalo, not good enough for the tzimmes. not big enough for the teepee. The second day I saw another buffalo, big enough but with a rotten hide, an ugly buffalo; the third day I saw yet another and it was clean, beautiful, big --a perfect buffalo!''
"So? What then?''
"What then? I went to skin the buffalo, I looked in my bag, and you know what? I brought my dairy tomahawk!''

(funnier in the original Yiddish)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the next Mel Brooks.

Posted: **Tue Nov 23, 2004 5:14 pm**

"let's rob the bank, and give the money to the poor, then rob the poor, and shoot the money!"

not really a joke, but by glaven if the simpsons doesn't throw some funny shit out there.

Posted: **Fri Nov 26, 2004 11:23 pm**

I donâ€™t think this oneâ€™s surfaced yet.

What does a poor, blind, deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Posted: **Fri Dec 10, 2004 1:14 pm**

What's a traffic cop's favorite wrist watch?

Bulova

(pronounced like someone with a Brooklyn accent saying "pull over")

Posted: **Fri Dec 10, 2004 1:36 pm**

What's blue and fucks old people?

Me in my lucky blue jacket.

Posted: **Fri Dec 10, 2004 2:46 pm**

I think I might have already told this here, but I can't find the post, so...

What's Steve Albini's favorite style of carpet?

Fuckin' khilim.

Posted: **Fri Dec 10, 2004 2:52 pm**

spoot wrote:What's Steve Albini's favorite style of carpet?

Fuckin' khilim.

What kind of carpet do Eskimos (sorry, Inuits) have in their Igloos?

Berber.

I just made that up. I'm sorry2004.

Faiz

Posted: **Fri Dec 10, 2004 2:57 pm**

kerble wrote:sorry2004

Faiz. I am to seeing these thing in so many the post! WTF? Is this joke one I am not to be understanding of? What is meaning of these thing? So much, the confuse for me!

Posted: **Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:13 pm**

This is inside joke between myself, my brother Sameer and Ruben Studdard of the American Idol. This is song of Ruben of Studdard where he is to be of the writing the canciones by the name of "Sorry2004" and he is of the actualizzare saying the "Sorry2004" in the song.

This is of the funny! This is even more of the funny than the Metallica singing "You're Unforgiven, Two" in the song. It is the thing of the cheapening of the apology.

I have found the lyrics on the matrix and have posted them here, under this "hilarious Joke" thread, because to me, she is the song of the Hilarious Joke.

Salut! American Idol. Salut! Ruben Studdard! Salut! Sorry2004.

Ruben 'sorry2004' Studdard wrote:(I'm sorry, I'm sorry)
Verse 1
It's like I missed a shot,
It's like I dropped the ball. (Man I'm Sorry)
It's like I'm on stage, and I forget the words. (Damn, I'm sorry)
It's like building a new house, with no roof and no doors. (Damn, I'm sorry)
It's like trying to propose, and I ain't got the ring. (Oooh damn I'm sorry)
But girl I've apologized a million times before. (I'll apologize a million more)
So here it comes again for all the wrong I've done. (so get ready babe)
Here's one million one.

Chorus
This is my sorry for 2004.
And I ain't gonna mess up no more, this year.
I'm 'a take this one chance,
and make it real clear.

case I don't tell you.

2004)

Verse 2
It's like stayin' out at night, and way too much to drink.( Damn, I'm sorry)
It's like you change your hair,
and I don't say a thing. (Damn I'm sorry)
It's like your fallin' back to sleep,
with no kiss and before we hear. (Damn I'm sorry)
It's like I forgot your gift,
on 02 14 03. (Damn. So sorry!)
But girl I've apologized a million times before. (I'll apologize a million more)
So here it comes again for all the wrong I've done. (so get ready babe)
Here's one million one.

Chorus
Girl This is my sorry for, 2004.
And I ain't gonna mess up no more, this year.
I'm 'a take this one chance,
and make it real clear.

case I don't tell you.

2004)

Hook-
(I'm sorry for the way that I did you)
(Sorry from the bottom of my heart for how I hurt you girl)
(Sorry on the weekend, sorry on the week days)
(Sorry for the things I did, sorry for the things I said)
(sorry for the lies)
(sorry for the time)
That I didn't give you what you want,
That I didn't give you what you like.
All that I can do is,
tell you that I'm sorry babe.
(I'm sorry babe, I'm sorry)
Oooooooooooooohhhhhhh!
Wooooooooh!
All them strip clubs,
all them hot tubs.
I'm gonna give them up,
'cause I don't want to lose you now.

Chorus
Cause this is my sorry for, 2004.
And I aint gonna mess up no more, this year.
I'm 'a take this one chance,
and make it real clear.

case I don't tell you.

2004)
~Starts Fading~
This is my sorry for, 2004.
And I ain't gonna mess up no more, this year.
I'm 'a take this one chance,
and make it real clear.

case I don't tell you.

Faiz

Posted: **Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:19 pm**

I'm sorry, for May. I'm sorry, for June. I'm sorry, for July, and in case I don't tell you, August, September, October, November. December, I'm sorry. Two thousand four.