6-11-07.

When I was a kid, my dad would read me choice passages out of Communion when I wouldn't go to bed.

Every morning until the age of 12 I was amazed that I woke up in my bed and not on a spacecraft. Really. I remember spending hours just looking out my window and waiting.

I also thought the world wasn't in color until the 1960's.
I remember wondering if Dennis The Menace was still black and white or if he got switched over when Earth went Technicolor.

I'm sure someone already said it, but we thought sex was when a guy peed in a girls butt.

If this was japan I would be 100% correct

I don't really remember childish beliefs as much as I remember my grave fears as a child (which I think speaks particular volumes.) I was convinced a torando would hit my town and destroy everything, it was just a matter of time. Day in and day out waiting for air raids too.

But mostly I remember having a horrible sickening gut feeling for several hours a day realizing I was going to go to hell for eternity while everyone I loved was going to heaven. I would take myself on horrible guilt trips about the stupidest shit I'd done. Lots of desperate prayer for forgiveness. We're talking I'm around 10 years old. It's absolutely disgusting when I look back and I think about it now. It's either amazing I didn't turn out supremely fucked up, or amazing I don't realize how supremely fucked up I am.

On a lighter note, I somehow convinced myself my nextdoor neighbor and her friends had implanted hidden cameras behind all the mirrors in my house.

Tom wrote:When I was a kid, my dad would read me choice passages out of Communion when I wouldn't go to bed.

Every morning until the age of 12 I was amazed that I woke up in my bed and not on a spacecraft. Really. I remember spending hours just looking out my window and waiting.

That book's cover art terrified the crap out of me when I was young. I used to sneak into my room with my eyes shut to close the shades at night because I thought that alien face might be staring back at me through the window. That, or glowing red demonic eyes. For some reason, not seeing them would make them leave me alone.

I used to be obsessed with the Twiddle Bugs from Sesame Street. I made a mailbox out of cardboard for them to contact me, and they did. I eventually found out that it was my father writing to me and was crushed. He was bright enough to change the handwriting style, so it took awhile before I knew.

For some reason, I thought that the brook that ran through town would transport me to some magical other world when it dipped into a brick tunnel, and that I would get there by building a raft out of milk cartons sealed and duct taped together, so I horded empty milk cartons for a almost a year. I had a design for the boat that was similar to a viking ship with the serpent on the front, except mine was the head of a duck because I was going through my duck-phase, wherein I believed that I would one day marry a duck. I wanted to legally change my first and middle name to Amallard Ducklynn (instead of Amanda Lynn).

I thought that any sort of hole in the floor of a basement near the plumbing was bottomless and would flip out when people went near one.

When I was really little I used to believe that old things used to look the same as new things, but then years of aging had mutated them and changed their looks.

I remember when I was young having a weird, misguided (by TV mostly) timeline in my head of the evolution of peoplehood

(I don't know if this makes sense to write it out but...):

Like I guess I thought it all started with cavemen coming first...

Then somewhere next was like wild west cowboys - because on TV shows they seemed to be only *slightly* more civilized... all with violence and such (they just had pistols and stuff instead of wooden clubs... )

Then I thought next came like WWI and WWII fighting soldiers times... they were obviously came after the cavemen and cowboys because their weapons were more advanced, with tanks and planes, etc.

Then I guess I thought as all peopledom had matured/evolved we next had like George Washington and Benjamin Franklin and their cohorts, because they seemed smart and civilized/refined...

Then I think I imagined coming next like British (and/or European in general) royalty or maybe just people in general who dressed in finery and lived in a city, and like classical music composers such as Beethoven & Mozart, as they seemed to be even farther along towards not being "hicks" like I pictured Washington still being a country boy kind of guy living on a farm (?)

Then probably came like 1950's/1960's scientists and astronauts and somehow - rock bands like the Beatles...

And then somehow that inexplicably, eventually led up to my generation?

(This is almost feels embarrassing writing it out, for some reason!)

Arson Smith wrote:I remember when I was young having a weird, misguided (by TV mostly) timeline in my head of the evolution of peoplehood

(I don't know if this makes sense to write it out but...):

Like I guess I thought it all started with cavemen coming first...

Then somewhere next was like wild west cowboys - because on TV shows they seemed to be only *slightly* more civilized... all with violence and such (they just had pistols and stuff instead of wooden clubs... )

Then I thought next came like WWI and WWII fighting soldiers times... they were obviously came after the cavemen and cowboys because their weapons were more advanced, with tanks and planes, etc.

Then I guess I thought as all peopledom had matured/evolved we next had like George Washington and Benjamin Franklin and their cohorts, because they seemed smart and civilized/refined...

Then I think I imagined coming next like British (and/or European in general) royalty or maybe just people in general who dressed in finery and lived in a city, and like classical music composers such as Beethoven & Mozart, as they seemed to be even farther along towards not being "hicks" like I pictured Washington still being a country boy kind of guy living on a farm (?)

Then probably came like 1950's/1960's scientists and astronauts and somehow - rock bands like the Beatles...

And then somehow that inexplicably, eventually led up to my generation?

(This is almost feels embarrassing writing it out, for some reason!)

That's ridiculous.

Everyone knows Adam & Eve, not cavemen, were the first people.

lemur68 wrote:

Arson Smith wrote:I remember when I was young having a weird, misguided (by TV mostly) timeline in my head of the evolution of peoplehood

(I don't know if this makes sense to write it out but...):

Like I guess I thought it all started with cavemen coming first...

Then somewhere next was like wild west cowboys - because on TV shows they seemed to be only *slightly* more civilized... all with violence and such (they just had pistols and stuff instead of wooden clubs... )

Then I thought next came like WWI and WWII fighting soldiers times... they were obviously came after the cavemen and cowboys because their weapons were more advanced, with tanks and planes, etc.

Then I guess I thought as all peopledom had matured/evolved we next had like George Washington and Benjamin Franklin and their cohorts, because they seemed smart and civilized/refined...

Then I think I imagined coming next like British (and/or European in general) royalty or maybe just people in general who dressed in finery and lived in a city, and like classical music composers such as Beethoven & Mozart, as they seemed to be even farther along towards not being "hicks" like I pictured Washington still being a country boy kind of guy living on a farm (?)

Then probably came like 1950's/1960's scientists and astronauts and somehow - rock bands like the Beatles...

And then somehow that inexplicably, eventually led up to my generation?

(This is almost feels embarrassing writing it out, for some reason!)

That's ridiculous.

Everyone knows Adam & Eve, not cavemen, were the first people.

Sure - you say that now that we've cracked the human bible genome;
I mean in history, Patty, before they changed the water...

Think about it - Adam & Eve were nude -> semi-nude, and as such could not be easily portrayed on early 1970's television, and hence, had no place in my little cosmology.

(I'm too tired to think properly if I'm actually using the word 'cosmology' in any meaningful, correct way...)

When I was very small, I believed that The Monkees lived in my town and that they were a threat to my family.

"Here we come, walkin' down your street ..."

Uh oh