Eh. Ex girlfriend keeps texting me. She's made getting over her nigh on impossible. She's with some cunt now, friend from work who wormed his way into her affections- real sleaze of a guy who I had little time for when we were together except to make an effort for her. She's all but living with him as far as I can tell and she quickly turned all her 'I don't want to be with anyone'/'I need to be on my own' platitudes into a big steaming pile of bullshit. I'd be fine but she keeps trying to worm her way back into my life. Sap that I am I might even take her back given the opportunity. And so she keeps texting me stupid shit like telling me there's a writing competition on at Waterstones. Woop de fucking do. Now she's threatening to turn up at my fucking gigs. I’m still ignoring her. Really don’t know what to do in this situation. Really don’t know what the fuck she wants from me.

Sorry. Stupid thread.

Tommy Alpha wrote:Eh. Ex girlfriend keeps texting me. She's made getting over her nigh on impossible. She's with some cunt now, friend from work who wormed his way into her affections- real sleaze of a guy who I had little time for when we were together except to make an effort for her. She's all but living with him as far as I can tell and she quickly turned all her 'I don't want to be with anyone'/'I need to be on my own' platitudes into a big steaming pile of bullshit. I'd be fine but she keeps trying to worm her way back into my life. Sap that I am I might even take her back given the opportunity. And so she keeps texting me stupid shit like telling me there's a writing competition on at Waterstones. Woop de fucking do. Now she's threatening to turn up at my fucking gigs. I’m still ignoring her. Really don’t know what to do in this situation. Really don’t know what the fuck she wants from me.

Sorry. Stupid thread.

From past experience, my limited suggestion is get rid of your phone number - either get a new sim or a new phone with different number. The next step is to delete her number from your phone so you're never tempted.

Maybe she wants a fall back, maybe she wants to be friends. Both of these sound poor choices for you, given what you've posted there. Delete her, get on. There's always a bigger fish.

She turns up at your gig you tell her what you said up top. If she's making it hard for you (fnar etc) you don't have to be nicey-nice. Tell her thanks but no thanks, you don't want to spend time with her, ta very much.

Written down it sounds easy but I'm sure its not. Chin up - it gets better.

Here's a good one.

A young guy, reasonably good-looking and fairly witty, has always had trouble with women. All his life. Then suddenly he meets this one girl at a show. She's quite attractive, but what he really cares about is her personality.
So they start seeing each other -- platonically, with other people there. It's always sort of a group thing. But soon, this guy realizes he's absolutely in love with her. She gets his jokes when few others do, she compliments him on his appearance often, and is absolutely in love with his (limited) musical abilities. She'll often ditch close friends at parties and come sit on a couch with him, just listening to him play guitar, smiling the greatest smile in the world. She's perfect for him.

Punchline: she's dating his best friend.

Cheers chuckles, you're right. Mutual friends aside, it’s a good plan. Easy, no- but a good one nonetheless

Ta again

damn, mason, no good advice on that one. my heart goes out to you though.

i can really heartily second the get outside or move your ass advice. even if it won't always make you significantly less depressed. my two cents, taken from three tough years of depression, which just started to turn around xmas: to a large extent, resign yourself to being depressed (or grieving) & know that this may last a while...BUT someday it will lift if you let yourself really experience it & make necessary changes, or just allow the grieving process to run its course when something has come to an end. the important thing: even if you feel like a robot doing it, push on as much as possible physically & maybe "professionally", so that you are not so far away from where you want to be when the fog lifts. i'm settling into my life a whole lot better of late but i wish i'd stayed in shape!

A Totem Pole wrote:Yo.I've had a terrible month. Got laid off, car broke down, girlfriend and I broke up, extremely broke, etc. It's all just catching up to me now and kind of getting to me. Music is the only thing keeping me going right now. So far it's been Miles Davis->Velvet Underground->Katamari Damacy soundtrack(?). Anyway, yeah, I thought I'd bump this instead of starting a whiny thread or something.I've had a terrible month. Got laid off, car broke down, girlfriend and I broke up, extremely broke, etc. It's all just catching up to me now and kind of getting to me. Music is the only thing keeping me going right now. So far it's been Miles Davis->Velvet Underground->Katamari Damacy soundtrack(?). Anyway, yeah, I thought I'd bump this instead of starting a whiny thread or something.That sounds like one shitter of a month Totem Pole. I hope things improve for you soon.

joime wrote:it make me sad to think that i have punk rock friends but they only know whatpunk is called today (nofx,dropkick,rancid) what punk is called to them really sucksthey never open up either to other punk in the 80's cause they focus on what they can see live. they poke fun at my knowing of the scene's that matter more in the best of it..that's kinda the price you pay for being 21 in this day and age.

A Totem Pole wrote:Yo.I've had a terrible month. Got laid off, car broke down, girlfriend and I broke up, extremely broke, etc. It's all just catching up to me now and kind of getting to me. Music is the only thing keeping me going right now. So far it's been Miles Davis->Velvet Underground->Katamari Damacy soundtrack(?). Anyway, yeah, I thought I'd bump this instead of starting a whiny thread or something.I often find that a combination of music, friends, and booze will always see me out of the dark.Sometimes friends fail you.Sometimes booze is a bad idea (or at least out of your affordability).Music's always there.

Good thread. My life is a piece of fuck right now, too. It's due mostly in part to a girl who I, for whatever reason, care about, and who is candidly vain/shallow about relationships/sex/love/whatever. She's my ex girlfriend of about four years ago who once cheated on me. I was very hurt and broke up with her, but we get along so well we've remained friends. The part that kills me is that even if I wanted to be with her again- and I do- I could never trust her. But since we're still good friends, I of course see here often, which is getting to be difficult. I've considered discontinuing our friendship, but how? Hey, we can't hang out anymore because I still have feelings for you and it's sort of killing me at the moment. I mean how else would you approach something like that?...I guess I'll just continue listening to Shipping News and drinking single malt. I feel better already!

DrAwkward wrote:crustandcrumb wrote:I've considered discontinuing our friendship, but how? Hey, we can't hang out anymore because I still have feelings for you and it's sort of killing me at the moment. I mean how else would you approach something like that?I had sort of a similar scenario like that this summer--not really an ex, but someone i had previously dated and wanted to again, even though we were good friends and occasionally hung out. I told her how i felt, she decided to get back once again with her on again, off again boyfriend, and then i said, ok, well we need to take a break from hanging out then, because i'm really confused by that and i don't think i can handle being around you right now. She understood and after a little time off, we got dinner and it was fine. Dating someone else right now who is awesome.Anyway, yeah, that's how you approach it--with honesty. If she's really your friend, she'll appreciate it and respect your need for space. Chances are, that space will get you over her and into someone new in no time. Do it!I guess I'm just building the nerve. Also, though, she's so... I already know just how it'd transpire, too; She'd roll her eyes at me and say, You're so fucking melodramatic.Fuck. Maybe I am just being melodramatic?Ah well. It's nothing A Minor Forest and a neat glass of bourbon won't help!