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Dick moves you have pulled.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:57 am
by MF_Archive
In high school I worked on the yearbook art/design crew and had access to a class portrait photo that was going to be used in the layout. Using the tip of an Xacto knife, I carefully scratched out the eyes of an obnoxious jock asshole that I fucking hated. It was very subtle until they enlarged the photo after it went in the layout. You could clearly see the defacement in the final production. I was quite pleased.

Another that comes to mind:

When I was about 11 I was taking clay classes at a little art center. There was an adult woman there that was always mean to me for some unknown reason. She would make these big elaborate clay pots. One day I took a couple balls of clay and placed them inside her pots that were waiting to be fired in the kiln. The balls were hollow on the inside with no air holes, so that they'd explode and destroy her pots when they were fired. I never did find out if it worked or not.

Dick moves you have pulled.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:55 am
by buzzsaw_Archive
I have a ton of dick moves....here are just a few...

Once, while in high school, a friend and I were sitting in his mom's car waiting for her to drop something off. Out of nowhere this big dog sticks his head in the open door of the car right by me and startles the shit out of us. It was some big friendly dopey dog. I kicked him right in the face to make my friend laugh. I immediately felt like a shaft.
This involves two dick moves, only one was mine.
Me and two friends went to a Cardinal game when we were 15 or so. We didn't like the game much and the sun was killing us because black jeans and metallica shirts don't repell heat much. We were walking around and I had to piss. When I came back out they were both smiling and Adam was HOLDING A BEER! He asked me if I wanted a drink and I took a big gulp. I was warm and nasty but it was beer. They both laughed and told me they had found the beer on the floor! (dick move #1)
Not to be outdone, I looked over the railing and could see waaay down to the first level. There was a little old lady sitting by herself, probably waiting on her grandkids to get a hotdog, holding one of those foam finger/hand things. I dumped probably 24 oz of warm beer right over the edge. We didn't stick around to see contact but we did go back a few minutes later and saw the huge wet spot with an old lady-shaped dry spot in the middle. (dick move #2)
One time a girl I barely knew drove 3 hours to fuck me and I had some raging pinkeye that I felt compelled to pass on....I am a stud (dick)
I used to tell dumb stoners to take a drag off of a cigarette and roar/scream (like Cannibal Corpse vocals) because it gave you a massive rush. They would do it and their lungs would shut down and I would laugh while they choked for air. This is still funny to me, actually.

Dick moves you have pulled.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:40 pm
by pestmeat_Archive
Hey timpickens, Code,

Pictures are hung, people are hanged. Just so you know.

Oh wait, was that a dick move?

Dick moves you have pulled.

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:13 pm
by Lonesome Bulldog_Archive
pestmeat wrote:Hey timpickens, Code,

Pictures are hung, people are hanged. Just so you know.

Oh wait, was that a dick move?


Speak for yourself; I'm hung as fuck.