To forget to wear his boots until after kickoff @ 200/1

hip priest wrote:Simmo, can you post your old man's musings on the beautiful game on a weekly basis please?

my dad wrote:It was my birthday on Saturday. The last time my birthday fell on a Saturday, Somerset CCC won the Cheltenham & Gloucester Trophy and England beat Germany 5-1 in Munich. (Stevenage drew 0-0 at Southport, but you can't have everything.) Or perhaps you can, after last Saturday, when Somerset clinched promotion from Division Two and both Leeds and the mighty Borough 'ran out winners' 1-0. I discovered both results from BBC Three Counties [Beds, Herts & Bucks] Radio, which featured commentary from Elland Road, Luton being Beds (twinned with Inferno). I was pleased to hear that Mr Blackwell had a good reception on his return to the land of mushy peas. It appeared, however, that he and his fellow erstwhile Leeds employee John Carver may have climbed out of their Beds on the wrong side. Many people have probably been tempted to grab Dennis Wise warmly by the throat over the years, but Carver more or less managed it before being dragged away. This distracted attention from another fine finish from Trésor, who, as the cousin of Lomana Lua Lua, is contractually obliged to do those somersaults when he scores.

On Saturday Borough triumphed at Ebbsfleet United (né Gravesend & Northfleet). The hosts deserve to lose every game for the rest of the season for adopting that silly name. Alternatively the League could just pluck a punishment at random. How about a 15-point deduction, in the interests of fairness adjudicated by the other teams in the same league who have no vested interest whatsoever in the decision?

Last night Borough went to Droylsden, whose nickname is 'The Bloods' and who play at the Butcher's Arms. Probably they do not have a large vegetarian following. It was 0-0 at half-time, 'on the stroke of' which Stevenage's Stuart Lewis received a red card from the referee, who was from Lancashire (as are Droylsden if you discount the concept of 'Greater Manchester'). Undeterred, the visitors went on to win 3-0 and remain second in the table, and have now had five successive clean sheets. Last season a clean sheet was something that Borough might come across in a hotel if lucky. It can only go all wrong from here. Maybe a stay of execution could come if I were to emulate Jack Daniel and regard my birthday as running throughout the current month.

José Mourinho's statement that the Premiership is more open this year rings as true as a promise of reformation from Emily Dickinson fan Pete Doherty or Frank Lampard asserting that his failure to sign a new contract is not a matter of money.