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Your own Onion headlines

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:02 pm
by Peripatetic_Archive
Tim Hardaway: "I Hate Gays"

Your own Onion headlines

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:06 pm
by chopjob_Archive
Right-Handed Eaters Fed Up With Leftovers.

Your own Onion headlines

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:13 pm
by gio_Archive
DrAwkward wrote:24-Year-Old Aspiring Hollywood Actress Looking for Love Sick of Being Mistaken for Spambot on MySpace

*inspired by the activity on my MySpace account today.


haha.

you could also do

MySpace girl actually did just move to town and would like to make some new friends.

hmmm... let's see... these might not be all that original but it's the best i can do for now:

Thomas Pynchon writes seventy-page grocery list, can't figure out if he wanted the canned or frozen peas.

Harlem apartment advertised on Craigslist not quite as Hot!Sexy!Sexy! as ad promised

Lindsay Lohan accidentally synthesizes cure for cancer in basement tub, wins Nobel Prize.

Your own Onion headlines

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:48 pm
by DrAwkward_Archive
gio wrote:Thomas Pynchon writes seventy-page grocery list, can't figure out if he wanted the canned or frozen peas.

Harlem apartment advertised on Craigslist not quite as Hot!Sexy!Sexy! as ad promised

Lindsay Lohan accidentally synthesizes cure for cancer in basement tub, wins Nobel Prize.


Actually, those are pretty good, especially if you find the perfect drunken townie nip-slip photo of Lohan.

Your own Onion headlines

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 5:36 pm
by wowow_Archive
Healthy Wood Shows Up Early, Impresses Cub Teammates

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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:08 am
by murderedman_Archive
Globetrotters Lose 18-3

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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:22 am
by lemur68_Archive
Toby Keith Converts To Islam, Suicide Bombs Dixie Chicks' Tour Bus

Your own Onion headlines

Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:36 am
by SecondEdition_Archive
Girlfriend Met Online Is Actually A Freaky Old Bastard

Mark Foley Joins NAMBLA

Paris Hilton IQ Directly Matches Breast Size

Your own Onion headlines

Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:39 am
by SecondEdition_Archive
yaledelay wrote:
mrdfnle wrote:Due to financial considerations the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off

someone please use this as a song title, its too good not to...

PS: if you don't claim it can I?


that sounds like the title of a Fall Out Boy song.

Your own Onion headlines

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 2:11 am
by Chromodynamic_Archive
I was going to put one up about Dolph Lundgren, but those sly bastards are already one step ahead of me. Motherfucker has a masters degree in chemical engineering and decides he'd rather be the live action version of He-Man.. christ.