Continuing the theme, I once pissed next to John Lowe when I was about 10 years old.

12 years later I recounted this story to John McEntire as I pissed next to him. He wasn't impressed.

When I was little my dad had me convinced the host of the regionally-produced fishing program was my uncle.

"There's uncle Bob," my dad would say at the start of each program.

I think my dad just really wanted to go fishing with him.

Okay...here's a couple

Just because I'm a shameless name-dropper

A.)The Ozzy Story- Summer of 96, worked in a coffeehouse in a bookstore in Austin. Ozzy came in with his handlers a couple of times. Not the most polite guy in the world, a little out of it, but oh well...

Second time he came- he was wearing a black, sleeveless t-shirt, sweat pants, hiking boots and a fanny pack. As if that wasn't awesome enough, we had the following dialogue during this transaction:

Ozzy: Alroight, I wunt two large coffees and one of these (points to cinammon roll)

Mayor: A cinammon roll?

Ozzy: Yeah

M: Would you like your that (the cinammon roll) heated?

O: Whut?

M: Would you like it heated?

O: Whut?

M: Would you like it HEAT- ED

O: No, I'm gonna shove it up me ass, of course I'm going to eat it


B.) Okay...I know how pervy you all are so you should like this one, because it does involve sex with a quasi-celebrity, so here goes...

...actually, I'm about out of time here, I'll have to dish this one out tomorrow.

But Happy New Years and may you all fuck somebody quasi-famous.

I respectfully refused a very kind offer of guest tickets for a Qui show from David Yow. He appeared to be a little drunk (and not to mention a little horny - but not for me) and I felt that accepting would mean I was taking advantage of this. Swell guy. I smoked one of his fags.

Jimmy Page once came into the cinema I worked at in Slough to watch a film with his daughter. I had to double take as he walked over and asked me where he could get a taxi from once the film was over. I gave him directions to the rank over the road from the Marks & Spencer, opposite the Khyber Pass take-away (exemplary kebabs, should you ever be passing through Slough and feel the need for a lamb sheekh). I then requested permission to ask him a question. He knew what was coming. When he confirmed that he was indeed Jimmy Motherfucking Page I wet myself a little. I'd walked into work listening to Led Zep III that morning, and I told him as much. He was pleased to hear this. Rather clumsily, I thanked him 'for the music'. I immediately realised how stupid that sounded and I think from the look on his face he realised that too.

If you're reading this Jimmy, I'm sorry.

I love that Page story.

I will make you tell it to me at least three more times.

When I was about 8 or 10 I met Cheap Trick at Disney World. I posted the account somewhere here but can't seem to find it.

Since I worked in the music industry for 15 years, I met a lot of "famous" people, so those stories don't count.

Nowadays I am around a very specific type of celebrity, but sometimes "normal" celebrities hang out with them. To that end, I have

a) been bought drinks by Ben Affleck numerous times in an attempt to get me drunk

b) had my ass pinched by Chris Masterson, Wilmer Valderama, and Topher Grace (though I invited Topher to do so because, well, um, I kinda have a crush on him)

c) busted Norm McDonald out of a charity poker tournament

i don't know if he can be described as "famous" but i once met Lee Mavers of The La's. a really weird guy. smoking weed all the time, playing soccer in his living room, knocking down furniture with the ball.
bizarre.

Tony Hawk came to the local bar as part of a Jackass taping--Slayer played that night. He came in about midnight and quickly moved to the back of the place and started talking to some friends about whatever. I was standing over by the pool table and finished my game and used my brother getting married as an excuse to get an autograph. I shook his hand and we walked to the front of the bar and he signed a many colored woman's rugby shirt that I had.

He talked some skater for the people and I asked him to sign "right above the itch you can't scratch."

Later I asked some rugby doude about washing the shirt. He said it was ruined and couldn't be washed.

I don't know if this really counts, but at various times throughout my life, I have either been mistaken for altogether, or told I resemble, other well known people.

When I was 19 or 20, I had female friends who said I resembled a young Tony Curtis. In fact, it sort of became a nickname among those friends of mine.

Once, at O'Banion's, when I was probably 20, I got into an argument with a woman who insisted I was, I think, Marky Ramone from the Ramones. She was very mad that they played at B'Ginnings in Schaumburg and not in Chicago itself on that tour. I had to show her my ID to prove I wasn't who she thought I was.

I had Grant Hart from Husker Du tell me back then that I looked a lot like Darby Crash. I have seen pictures where there is indeed a resemblance. Mostly in profile.

Last weekend, at the Silver Abuse show, I had a younger gentleman come up to me and say he was happy to meet me, thinking I was, I think, John Kezdy from the Effigies. I politely told him that I was not him.

There have been a few other incidences like this over the years, always seeming to be, to me, very different personalities and faces that I am being mistaken for.

I once got on the same flight to JFK as Kajagoogoo.

That's right. Kajagoogoo.

If you live in Chicago, you're probably familiar with the CTA's trains and buses' voice that announces every single next station and stop. I've gotten high with the guy and have seen drunk bangable young and old broads request for this guy to announce their next stop.

Also, I recorded Mancow's audio book. Dude's is a royal douche.

Did the same with Bernie Mac but The Mac is the shit. He bought lunch (JJ's Fish) for like ten people even though it was only two of us working there.