steve, in one of the favorite new(ish), songs wrote:As the last watt leaves the transmitter, circling the globe, in search of a listener...
I wanna ionize the air!

First time I heard this, I though he had said:

"I wanna itemize the error!"

Which kind of works (?) and still kind of sticks in my brain...

nirvana

"dan marino"

Chapter Two wrote:God knows as your dog knows
Bog blast all of you

Goddamn, it's on the tip of my tongue. I can't remember the song.

That one is Sabbath Bloody Sabbath by Black Sabbath...

My mom is the queen of misheard lyrics.
Some of her notable mistakes:

Judas Priest - Bookachickaw (instead of "Breakin' The Law")
Metallica - Self Control (instead of "Sad But True")

I can't understand half of Elton John's lyrics:
"Rocket man.... Burnin' up his shoes on heavens door."
"I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch. The bitch is back, cut real scurvy as a matter of fact."

propaghandi

"the sum of our farts and i never laughed harder"

Putting aside two very obvious misses (CCR's "There's a bathroom on the right" and Hendrix's "Exucse me while I kiss this guy), you have all also missed:
1) Bruce Cockburn's "If I had a rocking lawn chair" (cf. Rocket Launcher)
2) The Clash's "Fuck the gas pump"/Rock the Casbah.

Furthermore, the following two misunderstood lyrics are better than those properly understood.
1) Dylan's Tangled up in Blue (His: "We split up on a dark sad night both agreeing it was best" versus "We split up on the docks that night . . ." Just before the split-up he "helped her out a jam I guess I but a used a little too much force) and
2) Yo la Tengo's "Tom Courtenay" actually says:
"The movie star and his sordid life.
Mr. X and his long suffering wife."

Given the filmographic orientation of the song, "Mr. X" is an inerior choice to the misheard, "His mis-directs . . . and long-suffering wife."

I have way too much time on my hands.

In the demo for the song "Get Up And Jump" by the Red Hot Silly Peppers, Anthony Kiedis blathers something about grapefruits at high speed and then says something that sounds like he's saying, "Personally, I suck poop." Which is hilarious.

WoundedFoot wrote:That one is Sabbath Bloody Sabbath by Black Sabbath...

Thanks. It came to me a few hours later as I was mumbling Hand Of Doom.

cowtown14 wrote:2) The Clash's "Fuck the gas pump"/Rock the Casbah.

I was a preteen when this came out; I thought it was like, "Dr. Shazbot" or something.

Couple of decades ago, Phil Collins had this treacly ballad called "I Wish It Would Rain Down." The chorus went, "I, I wish it would rain/down on me...."

It's on the radio, and when the "down on me" part comes, my mother comes in, with conviction, with "down on Main Street...." Like the Bob Seger song.

I wish it would rain down on Main Street. Yeah that makes fuckin sense.