Sid Hartha wrote:

6-4-3 wrote:Clapping for new hires at work.

Creative Director: I'd like to introduce our new writer: Joe Blo
Everyone (accept me): Clap, Clap, Clap (a few whistles) Clap, Clap...

I got you beat: at where I work, all the above happens... then...

speeeeeech, speeeeech, speeeech!

The poor fucker has to speak in front of the whole crowd (they are never told in advance, just to make it more 'fun'). I've become very good at missing the meetings (haven't been to one in over a month now).

edit/ forgot - we're also expected to give 'vacation reports' at the weekly meetings.

What kind of insane loony bin jobs do you people work at? and why on Earth do you put up with stupid shit like this? Nobody has ever had the balls to say 'Hey this is fucking stupid and we aren't going to do it anymore'?

Marsupialized wrote:What kind of insane loony bin jobs do you people work at? and why on Earth do you put up with stupid shit like this? Nobody has ever had the balls to say 'Hey this is fucking stupid and we aren't going to do it anymore'?

i work at a church. i drink, smoke and fornicate like a rabbit. i'm going to hell.

I am walking on the street. Someone crossing my path doesn't make eye contact, doesn't say "excuse me", doesn't do anything to catch my attention but simply hollers out a question such as "where's the nearest Best Buy?". I don't hear the question, as no one has brought my attention around to whatever it is, so we have to now have a fun playtime moment of:

bumble:Wha-?
cretin: I SAID, where's the nearest Best Buy at?

Fuck you, cretin. Fuck you and your thousand clones, right in the pyloric valve.

Also, litterers.

I was walking behind a woman as she unwrapped something and dropped the cellophane on the sidewalk, even though there was a huge city trash can looming ten feet in front of her. She turned around, smiled and politely asked me where the bus was, but I was dripping deadly murderous laser vapor ray bombs all up and down Grand Avenue at her, so hell naw I wasn't helping her find the bus. I am so goddamn petty.

bumble wrote:I was walking behind a woman as she unwrapped something and dropped the cellophane on the sidewalk, even though there was a huge city trash can looming ten feet in front of her. She turned around, smiled and politely asked me where the bus was, but I was dripping deadly murderous laser vapor ray bombs all up and down Grand Avenue at her, so hell naw I wasn't helping her find the bus. I am so goddamn petty.

I was in Sam's parking lot (I know, but [lamely]I have to shop there for work[/lamely]). Some lady trying to load her giant purchases into her Hummer asks if I can give her a hand. Unfortunately, before I can tell her no and tell her why, someone else in the parking lot thinks she's talking to him and gives her a hand. I think she assumed that I didn't realize she was talking to me, so all was well for her. Maybe I am as petty as you?

bumble wrote:I am walking on the street. Someone crossing my path doesn't make eye contact, doesn't say "excuse me", doesn't do anything to catch my attention but simply hollers out a question such as "where's the nearest Best Buy?". I don't hear the question, as no one has brought my attention around to whatever it is, so we have to now have a fun playtime moment of:

Yeah, the building I currently work in (a University building) can be confusing to get around in. People often politely knock on my door and usualy something like "excuse me, can you tell me where such and such room is?", and I am more than happy to show them to their destination.

The other day one of those dickholes with the crooked hat walks right into my office and says "Where's A201?". I refrain from punching him in his balls and just stare back at him. So he raises his voice and threatingly repeats the question. I know perfectly well where A201 is, but there is no way I am going tell this dickwad where it is. So I just tell him, "I have no idea what you are talking about." Is this petty? I think not. That guy deserved to have his stupid fucking hat smeared in fecal matter.

what's up with these fucks? where did they come from? And why are their hats crooked? I just don't get it.

I meet many strange and creepy individuals on my daily walking tour and last Saturday had to be one of the weirdest encounters. I was walking by a field and this dude, who was cutting across the field, yells
Excuse me!!!
I look and see him rushing towards me.
My first thought is that this man wants to bum change or a smoke off of me. He gets to me and he's kind of out of breath so I let him breathe for a minute. His eyes are darting around like crazy and he's already kind of creeping me out.

...and the plot unfolds...

Man: "I don't want to take up too much of your time."

I'm now thinking that he's gonna hit me with one of those 'my kid is in the hospital' scams that I used to hear frequently. I play along.

Angriest_Dragon: Okay

Man: I was wondering if you could answer a question for me.

Angriest_Pedestrian: Alright

Man: Have you ever bought things on the internet?

I'm really not wanting this to go any further because I know he's got some kind of scheme cookin'. He probably wants to sell internet real estate or something. Those damn eyes of his have to be a sign that this guy is up to no good. So I decide to lie to this man.

Angriest_Victim: I don't have a computer.

Man: Well, would you happen to know if you can buy things on the internet?

I am now convinced that this weird guy is just on drugs.

Angriest_Computerless: I... would assume so...

Man: I was wondering if you can buy things that you can't get in normal stores.

As he says this a slight grin starts to form on my face but I can't let that happen so I quickly go to the confused face and give him a queer look.
(Not queer as in gay but queer as in odd.)

Man: You know like the kind of stuff you can get at the flea market.

My hopes that this guy is gonna say something interesting like "a bazooka", "a box of used condoms" or "the still beating heart of an elderly man" are shattered. I realize that this is either a very confused man or someone that is really fucked up. So I just give a straight answer.

Angriest_Letdown: I guess so.

He then scurried off like a squirrel does when you try to get too close and just happen to holding a bug stick or a baseball bat.

Now that I've typed this out, I'm no longer sure if this creepy encounter was what annoyed me or that I spent over thirty minutes typing all this out.

Angriest_Dragon wrote:My first thought is that this man wants to bum change or a smoke off of me.

This reminds me that US guys use the word "bum" meaning to borrow, etc.

In the UK, "bum" means to shag another person up the arse.

I remember back at school, we had the Canadian school rugby team over. After they picked up some of the lingo and started calling cigarettes "fags", we laughed when one boy asked if he could "bum a fag".

I think I just annoyed myself wasting three minutes writing this.

1] guitar collectors, in fact collectors of anything usefull. sick of reading things about rare guitars people have that they think are just o.k. but fits well in their collection. if its just o.k. sell it at a reasonable price to someone who would actually love to use it for what it is. if your into collecting maybe try stamps.
2] people forgetting that its sound first with instruments. that is people shying away from guitars because their heavy or ugly. buying combos because there lighter. not because they can get they can get a sound they like with less lugging.
3] my own pre conceived ideas about how certain instruments should sound. would love to be led around a good instrument shop blindfolded and do the pepsi challenge thing. definitely scared of what i might find out though.

p.s. and those engineers for the main band who deliberatly give the support acts a bad mix. its sad behaviour and an insult to the main band. would definitely get rid of our f/o/h guy if he did this.

Christians in baseball.

Trot Nixon, Mike Timlin, Tim Wakefield, Jason Varitek, Curt Schilling, Doug Mirabelli, Bill Mueller, Matt Clement, John Olerud, Mike Myers, Tony Graffanino, Chad Bradford: Each Sox player considers himself an evangelical Christian who believes in the sacred authority of the Bible and the promise of Jesus Christ as his savior.

The Boston faithful would be wise to review the little-known 11th commandment: "Thou shalt not let the Devil Rays knock the shit out of you, lest thou squander thy lead."