Well, these are from yesterday, but they still apply (best with the images, though):

"My style is erotic."
"I think I'm the most stylish guitarist in Finland."

I was not even stoned, but for some reason hurriedly referred to a "Dream Catcher" hanging from some buffoons rear view mirror on the road during lunch as an "Indian Think Jungle".

Since i was not paying attention, and didn't even realize i was saying something that weird, i could not stop laughing at it when the other passenger in the car said "what the hell are you talking about... what the fuck is an Indian Think Jungle?"

DefinitelyNOTtheSWEDE said "I like snow and shit."

BadComrade wrote:It's technically the day after I created this thread, so it's time for me to post again. While going through some old files, I came across the promo video for Duelin' Firemen, the video game runandgun were making, but never finished. I've edited out about 95% of the clip, leaving almost nothing in but Steve's line about the "president", which has always cracked me the fuck up. I'm making it the "funniest thing I've heard all day".

Click to watch!

this is one of those things that is very, very funny but you have no idea why.

on my end, it would have to be "if i'd been dating a pony i wouldn't be pregnant."

Three contenders:

1) After a string of tape machine problems, the studio rents a replacement machine for this morning. I spend about 45 minutes swapping the heads, re-programming the presets and functions and begin aligning it. There is a horrible mechanical alignment problem. They call the rental company and they bring another one. Again, at the end of the alignment process, a different crippling problem presents itself. I demonstrate it to the guy, and they get a third replacement machine. The third one has a tension freak-out and nearly snaps the master tape. I demonstrate this to the guy, and he says, "So is this one going to be okay for you?"

2) "He wanted to skip school so he and Johnny Kimball took off all their clothes and rolled around in the poison oak."

3) "Hi Steve, I'm Meat Loaf."

My friend and I are working on a project for this couple, and lately we've been ignoring them because we're busy.

My friend can speak English. Sometimes he says messed up things, but no one ever has a problem understanding him.

He cannot write in any language.

So today, he forwarded me an email he sent to the people, trying to set up a meeting. He started off the email by saying, "Sorry for choosing touch...."

steve wrote:3) "Hi Steve, I'm Meat Loaf."

Did you call him "Mr. Loaf" or "Meat"?

Or by his proper name, "Mr. Aday"?

Enquiring minds want to know.

i was watching world cup speed skating and a female contender from china had the name 'manli wang'. juvenile, i know.

This morning, at my new job I had terrible diarrhea.
Bad stomach flu most likely, maybe food poisoning. I ate some cheese garlic bread that had been in my freezer for probably 4 years yesterday.
Anyhow, I am sitting in the shitter shitting very liquidly and loudly.
After one particularly loud 'SQUABRAP!' from my ass and 'Ugh!' from my mouth, the dude in the stall next to me taps on the wall and says 'Hey dude, are you getting high in there?'
I laughed all day long.

"This is a band called Saxon...They come from the Eighties"