Fluss is my cat, and by extension, the Electrical Audio cat. There are other cats, but there is only one Fluss.
I met fluss in the winter of 1982, when he was very small. I surmised that he was born some time in 1981, though I have no direct evidence of it. He was not my cat then, but I adopted him out of necessity in 1984. Fluss is very, very old. Strom Thurmond died last month, and he was very,very old. Though Fluss has his faults, like all of us, Fluss is a better person than Strom, and I can prove it:
Strom: Oldest and longest-serving US Senator
Fluss: Oldest and longest-serving Electrical Audio cat
Strom: Dixiecrat
Fluss: Democat
Strom: Father shot and killed a political rival in 1897
Fluss: Father was a harmless housecat
Strom: Said of the National Endowment for the Arts, "Penises shall not be exposed at the public's expense."
Fluss: Had nuts removed at owner's expense
Strom: Terrible public servant
Fluss: Excellent mouser
Strom: Ran for President in 1948 on a segregationist platform
Fluss: Ran down four squirrels in the summer of '92
Strom: Really liked segregation
Fluss: Really likes chicken
Strom: Had an affair with a black woman, Essie Butler in 1925, fathering a child, Essie Mae Washington
Fluss: Has no known offspring
Strom: Had been estranged from Nancy, his second wife, for many years
Fluss: Probably gay
Strom: Pretty well bald at the end
Fluss: Sheds some
Strom: During a fillibuster, spoke for 24 hours, 18 minutes against a Civil Rights act in 1957
Fluss: Howled at his shadow for 45 minutes one night
Most offensive thing to come out of Strom's mouth: "There's not enough troops in the Army to force the Southern people to break down segregation and admit the Negro race into our theaters, into our swimming pools, into our homes, into our churches."
Most offensive thing to come out of Fluss's mouth: Occasional hairball
Strom: Enfeebled by age, his aides carried him from place to place
Fluss: Often rides on shoulders of friends
Strom: Beloved by the Klan
Fluss: Beloved by the staff
Strom: Asshole
Fluss: Cat
Strom: Dead
Fluss: Deaf
Long Live Fluss!
-steve
