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Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 10:36 pm
by Tree_Archive
You know you've thought of headlines for The Onion, whether or not you thought of a story. Let's see 'em! I'll start off:
People on the River Not Really Happy to Give
"That Fogerty is a goddamn liar," say locals
HBO Finally Learns How to Suck Its Own Dick
Please: Just Call Me "Bocepus Jr."
by Hank Williams III
Cancer Association Tired of Giving "Athlete of the Year" Award to Lance Armstrong
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 10:43 pm
by Christopher_Dragon_Archive
Ozzy To Bite Heads Off Gummy Bears At Concert
R. Kelly Goes On Urine Strike For Cancer
"I won't pee on underage girls until a cure is found"
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 11:45 pm
by glynnisjohns_Archive
"Local Jehovah Witness just not a people person"
Going door to door annoying people first thing saturday morning with our spiel is not what i call a walk in the park
"At home prostitutes now offer free high speed internet connection to customers"
With today's hectic schedules and the need to keep in touch, it just seemed a natural fit.
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:07 am
by Mayfair_Archive
"Penis Enlargement Email is Just a Hoax, says Small-dicked Local Man"
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:12 am
by nihil_Archive
Homosexuals Tired of Being "gay" All of the Time.
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:25 am
by Christopher_Dragon_Archive
Boston Man Sues Megadeth For Melting/Slaying His Face Off
New Osama Tape Revealed To Be Jerky Boys
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:27 am
by whiskerando_Archive
Recent Story Overshadowed by Clever Headline
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:33 am
by cgarges_Archive
Tree wrote:Please: Just Call Me "Bocepus Jr."
by Hank Williams III
It's "Tri-Cephus."
Chris Garges
Charlotte, NC
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 1:18 am
by CottonSocks_Archive
Misunderstood Teen Finds Acceptance At Local Nursing Home
Your own Onion headlines
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 7:52 am
by derd niffer_Archive
Area Chemist Takes Issue With Neil Young
Rust does sleep according to Lyle Harding, resident chemist with DePaul University. He explains that part of the process of oxidation requires periods of dormancy.
