Two years ago, I bumped into my old highschool flame. We were each other's "serious" relationship of our youth. She even had a crazy Costa Rican mother who hated my guts until she got to know me, then I was pretty much part of the family. After we broke up, he mother would compare all her new boyfriends to me.

I was out at a bar after work and she was a waitress there. She was so excited to see me (seemed a little tooooo excited) and said to come talk to her before I left, which I did. She gave me the biggest "I haven't seen you in ten years, but I still love you" hug. That was really uncomfortable. She said she had been married, but was in the middle of getting a divorce. They had a kid together and she revealed that the kid had my name. "Coincidence," she said.

oh those things are terrible terrible. they will haunt you for nights and nights.

Waiting for the Marsupialized take on the Caix situation.

I have my hunches.

Plus my guess is his encounter will trump everyone's, so I'm not even contributing.

-A

A friend and I were sat in a park once wasting time feeding chicken bones to swans, when an elderly man walked over to us and offered us an x-ray of a broken ankle. He said we looked like the kind of people that would appreciate it.

He was right.

While waiting in line at a Mexican food stand, a lady looked at me and told me that I had demons behind my eyes. She then recommended an exorcist.


Jon

About 2 months ago, woman I haven't seen in almost 20 years tracked me down via the Internet.

We had been friends when I was a teenager and she was 21 years old. I met her when I first moved to Chicago from Joliet in the late '80s. About 2 years later, she left for the East Coast--against the advice of all her friends and family--to chase after some guy she'd fallen in love with. Long story short, she got impregnated, had a child, settled down and went to art school while holding a series of jobs and receiving ancillary support from the family of her daughter's father. Now she's feeling homesick and wants to move back here, so she's seeking out all her old friends from the Midwest.

She sent me an email with her phone number and I called her up. We chatted for about an hour about "old times," which was nice. She told me all about how her 17-year-old daughter is a brilliant artist and how she loves Chicago and wants to attend Columbia College.

After we got off the phone, I recalled the last conversation we'd had before she moved away, all those years ago. I had assured her that if things didn't work out for her there, I'd gladly take her in and let her stay with me until she could get a job in town and establish herself again.

Then something else occurred to me. One evening while drunk, we had made a deal that if we were both still single by the unmarriageable age of 40, we'd wed and settle down together.

Now she's planning a trip back to Chicago, so her daughter can check out Columbia College. We're probably going to meet at some time during her visit, and I am fully expecting it to be very weird and uncomfortable, at least from my end.

I predict you will be married in six month's time, whether you like it or not.

caix wrote:I predict you will be married in six month's time, whether you like it or not.

Colonel Panic = Humbert Humbert

My high school girlfriend's father had suffered a stroke, somehow related to his alcoholism. He couldn't walk and talked with a terrible slur.

So, we're in high school, and we want to fool around. We decide to go back to her parent's place. We walk in, she says "hi" to mom and dad and we quickly walk to her room. Her dad, visibly angry, was trying to tell her that I wasn't allowed in the house, much less in her room, but she just grabbed my arm and walked quickly down the hall, all the while her dad slurring "Noooooo!"

We're in her room, trying to do it, and I can hear her dad dragging his withered frame down the hall, slurring "Noooooo!" It's pretty creepy.

"Just ignore him," she says, and locks the door.

We get back to it. Her dad crawled all the way to her door and started feebly pounding on it, slurring hysterically. Finally we stop. And I decide it's a good time for me to leave. We open the door, and there's dad, stretched out on the floor, fuming.

As I stepped over him to leave, he made the sex hand gesture (poking finger through hole) and slurringly yelled at me:

"YUUUU NOOOO FUKKKK MMMMY DOTTERRRRRRR!"

Jesus fucking christ, Bambouche.

I gotta go take a shower.